Comforting Dream
This morning I had a dream that gave me some small comfort; my brother appeared in it. I looked out of my back door, onto my balcony, and saw that the condo association was doing some kind of construction; the right half of the wooden floor was torn up; yellow hazard tape was strung around the diameter of the space.
I went outside to look for some news; when would the work be done, so I could enjoy my balcony again? I saw my good friends Todd and Amber milling about in the yard, and then I saw him-Michael. He stood in front of me, looking at me in that casual, sleepy way he had, a hint of a smile on his face. He looked a bit younger, perhaps twenty two or twenty three years old. I think I talked to him for just a moment before it hit me, even in sleep: He was not really there. I said to him..."You aren't really standing here."
He seemed slightly offended by this, and to my surprise, called out "Mom!" He did so as though to summon her, to tell her I had done something rude. I was quick to apologize.
"No, Mike, I don't mean that in a bad way....I would love for this to be true. I miss you so much."
Without another word he walked into my arms and hugged me. The best hug I've ever gotten from an adult in my life. Long, close, his body pressed to mine. He rocked me back and forth, and did not let go. I felt warm and safe, and so happy. It felt like he was pouring all of his brotherly love for me into that hug. When I awoke moments later, he was still holding me, still hugging me tightly. It was the last image in the dream, the last sensation I felt.
It was an unbelievably kind mercy, to be given this dream of my brother.
"There must be higher love; found in the heart, or hidden in the stars above. Without it, life is wasted time." Steve Winwood "Higher Love."
I went outside to look for some news; when would the work be done, so I could enjoy my balcony again? I saw my good friends Todd and Amber milling about in the yard, and then I saw him-Michael. He stood in front of me, looking at me in that casual, sleepy way he had, a hint of a smile on his face. He looked a bit younger, perhaps twenty two or twenty three years old. I think I talked to him for just a moment before it hit me, even in sleep: He was not really there. I said to him..."You aren't really standing here."
He seemed slightly offended by this, and to my surprise, called out "Mom!" He did so as though to summon her, to tell her I had done something rude. I was quick to apologize.
"No, Mike, I don't mean that in a bad way....I would love for this to be true. I miss you so much."
Without another word he walked into my arms and hugged me. The best hug I've ever gotten from an adult in my life. Long, close, his body pressed to mine. He rocked me back and forth, and did not let go. I felt warm and safe, and so happy. It felt like he was pouring all of his brotherly love for me into that hug. When I awoke moments later, he was still holding me, still hugging me tightly. It was the last image in the dream, the last sensation I felt.
It was an unbelievably kind mercy, to be given this dream of my brother.
"There must be higher love; found in the heart, or hidden in the stars above. Without it, life is wasted time." Steve Winwood "Higher Love."