what? . . .
somehow i'd managed to forget how quickly things on the ships change. even though i say it all the time, i'd still managed to forget. or be taken completely surprised by it.
it's got to be okay. it just has to. things can not possibly go from being so great to so wrong in only days. not without something in there having been false.
i need to make sense of it all. i need quiet and calm. i need time. time which will flash by the way it only does in thie floating world. i have so much hope it will turn out well, but fear more sudden change. i can't keep up. and i don't have the energy to resist it.
i'm sitting here contemplating all of the different hopes and wishes and confusions that drift through my mind. but i think what i really need is sleep. i can't deal with all of this on a day where i worked 15 hours, having slept only 3 the night before.
no more drama. i want to find peace again. i could have sworn i felt it only hours ago . . .
it's got to be okay. it just has to. things can not possibly go from being so great to so wrong in only days. not without something in there having been false.
i need to make sense of it all. i need quiet and calm. i need time. time which will flash by the way it only does in thie floating world. i have so much hope it will turn out well, but fear more sudden change. i can't keep up. and i don't have the energy to resist it.
i'm sitting here contemplating all of the different hopes and wishes and confusions that drift through my mind. but i think what i really need is sleep. i can't deal with all of this on a day where i worked 15 hours, having slept only 3 the night before.
no more drama. i want to find peace again. i could have sworn i felt it only hours ago . . .