Starting something new...
So, its been a hot second I guess since I have been writing in my journal. But, with time comes great topics to talk about. So the money situation has not changed for my school sad face but I am trying different avenues. I filled out another application to work at Wal-Mart since their seasonal employment is coming up. I hope within a couple of days or weeks that will give me a call so that I can get an interview in and start working. Only four more games for the football season and I am out of a second job so keep your fingers crossed and hope this other two jobs pans out for me. I need this so bad, so close to graduating it makes me sick. A few weeks ago I was afraid of graduating not knowing what would be in store for me but, now I want to graduate so bad its sickening and the thought I won't be able to due to being over 500 dollars of tuition is sad. I just need a good paying job and boom that would be paid off and I could register. So if you have faith and pray to whomever you believe in whether it is God, Buddha, Jehova let them hear my prays cause I need it.
On a lighter note I think I have reached my breaking point in dating guys. What I mean by that is I think I have started to realize its not what you want from them but what you value in yourself to make them want you. I do not do casual relationships and even when I did I still craved for something serious and I can't pretend to be in a relationship with someone who does not want something serious with me. Also this whole feeling I have been feeling with my ex, I think it is time that I let it go. I know he is not ready for where I would like a relationship to lead and that is understandable, most guys his age want their career to reach a certain point before they are ready for a serious stable relationship and he thinks too much into things he just needs to have fun. So reluctantly I think I should let my feelings for him go because I am hoping we get back together but, because I am hopeful on something that he does not want now, I am holding myself back from finding mister potential. I am worth finding mister potential and hopefully he will turn into mister right. I think I have just had an epiphany right here in my dorm room, (laughing and smiling) I love when things hit me upside the head and it makes me feel beautiful and happy at the same time. Its okay to want more for yourself when you know you deserve it.
This weekend has been amazing. I got all my homework done, I had a relaxing weekend and I have finally seen what is worth my time and I should give myself as many opportunities has possible for the future. Let's just hope I keep this momentum all the way til next year cause oh boy I can't wait to say "Look at me now, I'm getting married...joking paper first" (laughing and smiling) Good night live journal you guys are great
On a lighter note I think I have reached my breaking point in dating guys. What I mean by that is I think I have started to realize its not what you want from them but what you value in yourself to make them want you. I do not do casual relationships and even when I did I still craved for something serious and I can't pretend to be in a relationship with someone who does not want something serious with me. Also this whole feeling I have been feeling with my ex, I think it is time that I let it go. I know he is not ready for where I would like a relationship to lead and that is understandable, most guys his age want their career to reach a certain point before they are ready for a serious stable relationship and he thinks too much into things he just needs to have fun. So reluctantly I think I should let my feelings for him go because I am hoping we get back together but, because I am hopeful on something that he does not want now, I am holding myself back from finding mister potential. I am worth finding mister potential and hopefully he will turn into mister right. I think I have just had an epiphany right here in my dorm room, (laughing and smiling) I love when things hit me upside the head and it makes me feel beautiful and happy at the same time. Its okay to want more for yourself when you know you deserve it.
This weekend has been amazing. I got all my homework done, I had a relaxing weekend and I have finally seen what is worth my time and I should give myself as many opportunities has possible for the future. Let's just hope I keep this momentum all the way til next year cause oh boy I can't wait to say "Look at me now, I'm getting married...joking paper first" (laughing and smiling) Good night live journal you guys are great