hmm unsure what just happened
lets talk, sure lets talk.....really thats so very interesting I am pretending to be happy.. now what do you want.....good for you..thats fucking wonderfull..hope you had fun...at least we are getting along now...wait what? you want me to think about what? You do? hmmm aright so now i don't know what to say...should i feel like a typical girl or should I feel the hate thats been boiling in my gut? I'de like to answer you no becuase then I would feel gratified for the feelings I have felt ...oh my god are you going to cry?...oh no your not, thats just your eye ....why is your eye that way?....glad you didn't cry I would have lost all respect for you ....someone told me that caitlyn was telling you to cry...I thought it was a joke on me...ha ha ...trust issues are so funny. So I think I'll walk out of earshot now, make you follow me, lets drag this conversation out a little more to make sure it's real and to make sure I actually am hearing right...hmm ok....yes I am hearing right.. I have to answer. So I should answer no! do it! answer no!!... ARGH I can't say no!.....love ..what a bitch. Yet what a great thing...and yet what a bitch. How embarresing we've created drama...I've created drama!! Does yes change who I've been the last two days? I think thats the real me...can i keep the real me and still let the answer be yes? I think so ... I hope so. Can I still hang out with mike? he's way to cool to stop hanging out with..we played with clay today...it was kinda gross but way worth it. Space? is this still and issue? are we going to have to deal with this in the future? I think i can be civil about it if it comes up...I think... no I know now that i can be civil. Can I be accepting of everything that happens? can I trust? can you not be jelouse please I really need those strong bonds, I need those friendships with mike and dane and everyone, you have to trust me. So it's really yes....it really is and i like yes better then no but will i survive if it happens again..... so many questions I wish I knew half the answers...
denitra
denitra