(no subject)
I went to a therapist today, it was really interesting and I go again on wednesday. Sad to say it's already helping, I guess I really can't fix it all by my-self. I am working out like mad, working off the anger I have pent up inside of me (and all the food I eat with caitlyn), old feelings seer anew becuase of a situation in which I had to swollow my pride, then oplogize to save a friedship. I take such responsibility for everything, I hate it. If only every once and awhile I could just finally put the blame where it belongs I think I would feel better.
I hate being single, I am so tired of boys who only see my body ,which I hate, and nothing else. They look at it, they follow it and a few have even touched it but I have no idea how to say stop without hurting someones feelings. I want to put a sign on my ass that says " don't think about it, don't look at it and never fucking touch it." I still am clinging to what I had in a deperate etempt to gain it back. Yet I have no pity for my-self and no one to complain to. It is not my fault that I am depressed but you know what I'm going to fix it anyway.
any how this moring I went and jogged a mile and a half then I swam laps for 2 hours and then I played basketball for an hour then I got back in the pool with some friends and pissed a lifegaurd off. All in all a productive day. My life aint half bad right now.
I hate being single, I am so tired of boys who only see my body ,which I hate, and nothing else. They look at it, they follow it and a few have even touched it but I have no idea how to say stop without hurting someones feelings. I want to put a sign on my ass that says " don't think about it, don't look at it and never fucking touch it." I still am clinging to what I had in a deperate etempt to gain it back. Yet I have no pity for my-self and no one to complain to. It is not my fault that I am depressed but you know what I'm going to fix it anyway.
any how this moring I went and jogged a mile and a half then I swam laps for 2 hours and then I played basketball for an hour then I got back in the pool with some friends and pissed a lifegaurd off. All in all a productive day. My life aint half bad right now.