A letter to my neighbor
Dear sir,
I hope you don't mind my intrusion upon your privacy, but I have a few questions that I felt like sharing with you pertaining to a very important matter. But I don't really care if you answer them or not, you know, since I think you're a douche bag. But that's a minor detail. All right, now that's out of the way, onto the questions!
Why do you invite friends over and then insist they park in my spot? Do you not see the giant '54' in front of it, which coincides with my apartment number? Apparently not, since that shitty car with the cheap plastic Mardi Gras beads hanging from the rear view mirror is in it, which belongs to your equally cheap friend.
Did you not realize that guest parking exists in this apartment complex? And that there are two of them right next to you? Oh, wait - you can't see those because your OTHER friends are parked there. Well, forget I mentioned that.
Did you ever consider that perhaps I would like to park there, sometime, hmm? Or did you think that I wouldn't mind parking far off in the sticks and walking home? Is that it? Is it? 'Cause I'm sure you know I love walking, I bet that's it! Yes, you were just being courteous to my desires and tastes, because you're such a thoughtful person.
...
Yeah, go to hell.
Sincerely,
Angela
I hope you don't mind my intrusion upon your privacy, but I have a few questions that I felt like sharing with you pertaining to a very important matter. But I don't really care if you answer them or not, you know, since I think you're a douche bag. But that's a minor detail. All right, now that's out of the way, onto the questions!
Why do you invite friends over and then insist they park in my spot? Do you not see the giant '54' in front of it, which coincides with my apartment number? Apparently not, since that shitty car with the cheap plastic Mardi Gras beads hanging from the rear view mirror is in it, which belongs to your equally cheap friend.
Did you not realize that guest parking exists in this apartment complex? And that there are two of them right next to you? Oh, wait - you can't see those because your OTHER friends are parked there. Well, forget I mentioned that.
Did you ever consider that perhaps I would like to park there, sometime, hmm? Or did you think that I wouldn't mind parking far off in the sticks and walking home? Is that it? Is it? 'Cause I'm sure you know I love walking, I bet that's it! Yes, you were just being courteous to my desires and tastes, because you're such a thoughtful person.
...
Yeah, go to hell.
Sincerely,
Angela