the long awaited post in mike's journal.
yeah, I have no clue if anyone even reads this anymore, but nonetheless I'm going to update.
so yeah, I've been doing alotta thinking today. I've come to the realization that nothing has really changed about my feelings for PERSON (as denise would put it). Ugh.. i just got off the phone with my friend, and i can't even state how much it hurt to hear that person's changing, that she's not the same person I cared more about than anything in the world, and for some obserd reason, still do. I dunno.. ugh.. as I'm sure all of u heard, i found out that person was going out with Mickey (who i thot was my bud) behind my back.... well for some reason amanda starts to talk to me the other day and tells me i should ask her who shes going out with, cuz I'll find it funny. Well, i do ask, and i find out it's barry, mickey's best friend. well i guess she thot i would find it ironic, but it just stung to hear she;s with another guy she really likes. I dunno, i guess what hurts most is knowing that she really doesnt give a fuck about me, despite what she's said in the past. How could i care so much about someone who doesnt give a rats ass, i dunno. Why do i still feel this way after so long, i dunno. I remember a sweet, caring person who would lighten up my day.... but that person is gone, as much as i really dont wanna admitt it, i have to.
ugh.. i just dont understand..... i would have easily given everything, done everything, and never thot twice about it, and i really dont think there could have been alot that could have changed that. I mean.... ugh... yeah i know she;s with a new guy now... but i bet he'll never love her a millionth of the amount i did for her. I;m going to save anyone who reads this alot of time, by saying i know i should be over her by now, but truth is i doubt i;ll ever be. There will always be a small part of my heart which feels this way.
I'm not even going to make this entry friends only (even tho. its just about the most personal one i;ve ever made), becuz I'm tired of keeping all this inside, whoever is interested is welcome to read it.
ugh... she told me that mickey slung her into a depression after they broke up.. i wonder if she has any clue what i went through... probably not.
that;s about all i can handle for now...
so yeah, I've been doing alotta thinking today. I've come to the realization that nothing has really changed about my feelings for PERSON (as denise would put it). Ugh.. i just got off the phone with my friend, and i can't even state how much it hurt to hear that person's changing, that she's not the same person I cared more about than anything in the world, and for some obserd reason, still do. I dunno.. ugh.. as I'm sure all of u heard, i found out that person was going out with Mickey (who i thot was my bud) behind my back.... well for some reason amanda starts to talk to me the other day and tells me i should ask her who shes going out with, cuz I'll find it funny. Well, i do ask, and i find out it's barry, mickey's best friend. well i guess she thot i would find it ironic, but it just stung to hear she;s with another guy she really likes. I dunno, i guess what hurts most is knowing that she really doesnt give a fuck about me, despite what she's said in the past. How could i care so much about someone who doesnt give a rats ass, i dunno. Why do i still feel this way after so long, i dunno. I remember a sweet, caring person who would lighten up my day.... but that person is gone, as much as i really dont wanna admitt it, i have to.
ugh.. i just dont understand..... i would have easily given everything, done everything, and never thot twice about it, and i really dont think there could have been alot that could have changed that. I mean.... ugh... yeah i know she;s with a new guy now... but i bet he'll never love her a millionth of the amount i did for her. I;m going to save anyone who reads this alot of time, by saying i know i should be over her by now, but truth is i doubt i;ll ever be. There will always be a small part of my heart which feels this way.
I'm not even going to make this entry friends only (even tho. its just about the most personal one i;ve ever made), becuz I'm tired of keeping all this inside, whoever is interested is welcome to read it.
ugh... she told me that mickey slung her into a depression after they broke up.. i wonder if she has any clue what i went through... probably not.
that;s about all i can handle for now...