just a short story
woke up an hour late. looked at my glowing green clock and pulled the old blanket over my head.
there is no such thing as incentive when your boss does not care if you even show up to work.
i can get paid to not be there, when i am, i just dink around and do whatever i want anyways.
so why bother showing up at 7:45 when not need be. i sometimes show up before 10, but normally about 11:30.
the sunlight break through my shades and curtains like they were made of cellophane . who the fuck made my fucking curtains out of cellophane?
my dog (who has spelt on my bed since 8pm the night before) just shoves her face under the blanks and goes back to sleep. i put on my pharmacy bought $3.99 purple little blind fold with hopes it will block out the light. it works for a little time. after a while, that thing bugs me.
push up all $3.99 worth of the blind fold and i roll over the sleeping dog(now cocooned in my blanket) then head to the rest room. though there is a full wall mirror over the jack and jill sinks i don’t notice that i left the purple little blindfold on my head. decide its had been about… it’s a been a while since i last took a shower and needed one.
stuck my head into the showers to turn my “knob”. the “knob” of my shower of course has a broken screw and now just sits on the tub, so less of a “knob” and more of a “key”. well the “key” works nicely and i aim for heat. the cold, working on becoming hot, water shoots out of the showers head and onto mine.
fucking roommates.
it is too hard for them to get the idea of pushing the fucking little stick down and therefore letting the water come out of the tub faucet and not the shower head. so of course as a result of the negligence of my roommates my head is now soaked. this is when i put my hand on my head and noticed that the $3.99 purple little blindfold is now, also, soaked. my shower is put on hold so i may go to my room, open my cellophane curtains, pull my shitty shades up, open my window without a screen, and put my $3.99 purple little blindfold out to dry.
back to my shower. i engage the “key” and the cold turns to hot, then i step in and let the bathing begin.
now, i am clean.
i take my clean body out of the rest room and place it into some clean boxers and the same dirty pj pants, and t-shirt i wore to bed. cover the slept in dirty t-shirt with a sweater with two shades of green horizontally striping it. a lesser person would say it’s my “freddy kruger” sweater. i of course just pull out my knife when this happens and say “on two freddys coming for you.”
ok that was a lie, but i do think about it.
my still damp warm feet meet with the cold pink carpet(i have cold pink carpet) and they are unhappy. but my feet are the lowers part of my body, and even know i can’t play hacky sack without them, they are on the same level of lower management as my neck hair.
i walk down my stairs leaving my $3.99 purple little blind fold on my window sill outside of my shitty shapes and cellophane curtains, just in front of where my screen used to be. my dog still asleep on my bed (for the better part of 13 hours) with her body is a cocoon of my blankets.
as i head closer to my kitchen i hear the tv on. now, the tv as a unit is a not a problem for me. i like the tv, the speakers are shit on this particular tv, but it’s not the tv i hate. the cable (i don’t give a fuck if you don’t have “cable” cable, it’s all fucking cable tv) that goes into the tv bothers me greatly. you see, my roommate is watching a show(name unknown) that looks to have about as much intelligible writing a pop singers lyrics. so none.
i ignore it and walk into my kitchen. my damp warm feet on the cold pink carpet(you don’t believe me but i really do have pink carpet) must not have made any noise, for when i walked past the couch there was a shriek. i don’t use the the word shriek lightly either, he sounded like a little girl getting her rectum ripped open by a black cock. he is gay so i let this kind of feminine beahavoure slide. the bothersome part is when he says, “you scared me”.
well no fucking shit.
finally i make it to the kitchen and refill the kettle from the tap. kettle on burner four, then turn the gas on. i always let the come out for a little while, i like smell and rather enjoy watching the flame blow out the sides of the pan, kettle, or otherwise.
i pull out the tea bag of my english breakfast tea box. the kettle sounds like a harmonica that is stuck on a single note. i put the tea back in and pour the water over the bag, the steam rises and i smell its essence.
i put the kettle back and fill a pot with water from the tap. put it on the burner, did not turn it off, go to the cupboard and pull out some ramon. i wait, my tea is cooling and steaming, my water is warming, my ramon is soon.
there is no such thing as incentive when your boss does not care if you even show up to work.
i can get paid to not be there, when i am, i just dink around and do whatever i want anyways.
so why bother showing up at 7:45 when not need be. i sometimes show up before 10, but normally about 11:30.
the sunlight break through my shades and curtains like they were made of cellophane . who the fuck made my fucking curtains out of cellophane?
my dog (who has spelt on my bed since 8pm the night before) just shoves her face under the blanks and goes back to sleep. i put on my pharmacy bought $3.99 purple little blind fold with hopes it will block out the light. it works for a little time. after a while, that thing bugs me.
push up all $3.99 worth of the blind fold and i roll over the sleeping dog(now cocooned in my blanket) then head to the rest room. though there is a full wall mirror over the jack and jill sinks i don’t notice that i left the purple little blindfold on my head. decide its had been about… it’s a been a while since i last took a shower and needed one.
stuck my head into the showers to turn my “knob”. the “knob” of my shower of course has a broken screw and now just sits on the tub, so less of a “knob” and more of a “key”. well the “key” works nicely and i aim for heat. the cold, working on becoming hot, water shoots out of the showers head and onto mine.
fucking roommates.
it is too hard for them to get the idea of pushing the fucking little stick down and therefore letting the water come out of the tub faucet and not the shower head. so of course as a result of the negligence of my roommates my head is now soaked. this is when i put my hand on my head and noticed that the $3.99 purple little blindfold is now, also, soaked. my shower is put on hold so i may go to my room, open my cellophane curtains, pull my shitty shades up, open my window without a screen, and put my $3.99 purple little blindfold out to dry.
back to my shower. i engage the “key” and the cold turns to hot, then i step in and let the bathing begin.
now, i am clean.
i take my clean body out of the rest room and place it into some clean boxers and the same dirty pj pants, and t-shirt i wore to bed. cover the slept in dirty t-shirt with a sweater with two shades of green horizontally striping it. a lesser person would say it’s my “freddy kruger” sweater. i of course just pull out my knife when this happens and say “on two freddys coming for you.”
ok that was a lie, but i do think about it.
my still damp warm feet meet with the cold pink carpet(i have cold pink carpet) and they are unhappy. but my feet are the lowers part of my body, and even know i can’t play hacky sack without them, they are on the same level of lower management as my neck hair.
i walk down my stairs leaving my $3.99 purple little blind fold on my window sill outside of my shitty shapes and cellophane curtains, just in front of where my screen used to be. my dog still asleep on my bed (for the better part of 13 hours) with her body is a cocoon of my blankets.
as i head closer to my kitchen i hear the tv on. now, the tv as a unit is a not a problem for me. i like the tv, the speakers are shit on this particular tv, but it’s not the tv i hate. the cable (i don’t give a fuck if you don’t have “cable” cable, it’s all fucking cable tv) that goes into the tv bothers me greatly. you see, my roommate is watching a show(name unknown) that looks to have about as much intelligible writing a pop singers lyrics. so none.
i ignore it and walk into my kitchen. my damp warm feet on the cold pink carpet(you don’t believe me but i really do have pink carpet) must not have made any noise, for when i walked past the couch there was a shriek. i don’t use the the word shriek lightly either, he sounded like a little girl getting her rectum ripped open by a black cock. he is gay so i let this kind of feminine beahavoure slide. the bothersome part is when he says, “you scared me”.
well no fucking shit.
finally i make it to the kitchen and refill the kettle from the tap. kettle on burner four, then turn the gas on. i always let the come out for a little while, i like smell and rather enjoy watching the flame blow out the sides of the pan, kettle, or otherwise.
i pull out the tea bag of my english breakfast tea box. the kettle sounds like a harmonica that is stuck on a single note. i put the tea back in and pour the water over the bag, the steam rises and i smell its essence.
i put the kettle back and fill a pot with water from the tap. put it on the burner, did not turn it off, go to the cupboard and pull out some ramon. i wait, my tea is cooling and steaming, my water is warming, my ramon is soon.