hey
well i know that its been awhile... stuff has been pretty rollarcoastery. lots of ups and downs.... school is going alright for the most part no real complaints there... volleyball is going well... im playing, well shuffling on the right side with barbie and sandy. im cool with it... i realized today that even tho i go through so much shit with volleyball the ideas that are being taught to me even tho i might not appreciate how they are being taught are life lessons that are gonna help me in the real world. like how to deal with situations and what not... the stuff isnt easy but since i've been around it for 3 years already im getting the hang of it and realizing that there is more to it then i used to think... now we arent talking about whether i agree with how its done but i understand the idea behind it.... interesting... interesting... kinda talking to a guy where things see to be going alright/good... i part of me is still hesistant cuz it seems like it came outta no where... but im not worrying about it whatever happens happens... stuff with my gramps is also up and down... i went and saw him today... hes in the hospital again... he said something today that really made me think... i used to say that i wanted to be a favorite... i've never been and it must be nice to be one... and today i realized that i am one! for some reason it just made me smile... knowing that im loved that much and wow... it just was alot for me to handle... i've been feeling pretty emotionally drained the past couple of day cuz of my grandpa... its just a lot for me to handle... im doing ok tho... trying to be tough and being strong..... I cant wait for this weekend to hang out with my girls megan and erin... i really miss them tons and i really could use a break from everything right now to just hang out and catch up with them... cant wait cant wait!!! i think im gonna get my stuff together for tommorrow... ill catch ya guys lata