can you hear my heart breaking
things have been pretty weird lately. i find myself not wanting to be around anyone. it's a feeling that i dont really like but i cant help it. its a feeling of emptiness. ive been trying to keep myself busy so that i cant stop and thnk about anything. i dont want to think about anything. i just want this to pass over. i feel like i need to talk to someone, but have no one to talk to and nothing to say even if i did.
today we did thanksgiving. we didnt do it thursday cause everyone was busy. mom-no work. dad-work. justin-brandi's family. jonny-tara's family. me-work. im glad i had to work though. i had nothing better to do and i got more money than normal. so we celebrated thanksgiving today. we were sitting out on the deck and for some reason i started thinking to myself "what did i do for thanksgiving last year?" then i rembered...i cant remember all of it, but i remember that i ended up going to the waffle house with rikki. that tought passed. hailey was making a barking sound...like a dog, and elijah asked me where nikki was. not a memory i wanted to think about. all of a sudden i went back to that day. it was a few days before the hurricane. i went out back to move the stuff off the deck for mom and i didnt see her. i called her. i whistled for her. she didnt come. i started looking for a hole cause i figured she dug under the fence. she didnt. she went to lay under the deck to die. i found her and i didnt know what to do. i freaked...i called amanda. she calmed me down.
i went back and read the journal that she typed about it. it just makes me feel even more alone.
i cant talk to her anymore. she wont allow it again. she talked to me that one time. she met me at the park. she talked...i listened. i dont know what happen after that. she came to her senses. she doesnt want/need me in her life.
"Anywhere But Here"
We've been alright up until now,
but the air that we breathe is about to run out.
We've rehearsed our lines clear and loud,
but the cue never came and the lights,
they never went down.
So we're passing the time,
while time passes us.
The fast lanes a term never applied to us.
Without a dime to my name,
or a prayer in the world.
I walk out the door.
Destination anywhere but here.
Away from you.
Now I'm on my way to the other side,
(On my way)
I'll forget everything I left behind.
(On my way)
These empty rooms,
(On my way)
are still filled with you.
(On my way)
So I dropped out of my own race,
a race with no finish line,
no first or last place.
These faces all rush right past me.
I turn and walk away,
cause we finally know now what our
time here's about, we were not meant to be
another face in the crowd.
We're a forest of lives,
but we grow tall and wide.
We'll never be cut down.
Destination anywhere but here.
Away from you.
Now I'm on my way to the other side,
(On my way)
I'll forget everything I left behind.
(On my way)
These empty rooms,
(On my way)
are still filled with you.
(On my way)
I'm so tired and turned around and scared.
I'm lying in empty beds again.
I'll wait for you to come
to your senses, barbed-wire fences
won't keep me from breaking through.
I swear I will to you.
Now I'm on my way to the other side,
(On my way)
I'll forget everything I left behind.
(On my way)
These empty rooms,
(On my way)
are still filled with you.
(On my way)
I'm so tired and turned around and scared.
I'm lying in empty beds again.
Away from you.
today we did thanksgiving. we didnt do it thursday cause everyone was busy. mom-no work. dad-work. justin-brandi's family. jonny-tara's family. me-work. im glad i had to work though. i had nothing better to do and i got more money than normal. so we celebrated thanksgiving today. we were sitting out on the deck and for some reason i started thinking to myself "what did i do for thanksgiving last year?" then i rembered...i cant remember all of it, but i remember that i ended up going to the waffle house with rikki. that tought passed. hailey was making a barking sound...like a dog, and elijah asked me where nikki was. not a memory i wanted to think about. all of a sudden i went back to that day. it was a few days before the hurricane. i went out back to move the stuff off the deck for mom and i didnt see her. i called her. i whistled for her. she didnt come. i started looking for a hole cause i figured she dug under the fence. she didnt. she went to lay under the deck to die. i found her and i didnt know what to do. i freaked...i called amanda. she calmed me down.
i went back and read the journal that she typed about it. it just makes me feel even more alone.
i cant talk to her anymore. she wont allow it again. she talked to me that one time. she met me at the park. she talked...i listened. i dont know what happen after that. she came to her senses. she doesnt want/need me in her life.
"Anywhere But Here"
We've been alright up until now,
but the air that we breathe is about to run out.
We've rehearsed our lines clear and loud,
but the cue never came and the lights,
they never went down.
So we're passing the time,
while time passes us.
The fast lanes a term never applied to us.
Without a dime to my name,
or a prayer in the world.
I walk out the door.
Destination anywhere but here.
Away from you.
Now I'm on my way to the other side,
(On my way)
I'll forget everything I left behind.
(On my way)
These empty rooms,
(On my way)
are still filled with you.
(On my way)
So I dropped out of my own race,
a race with no finish line,
no first or last place.
These faces all rush right past me.
I turn and walk away,
cause we finally know now what our
time here's about, we were not meant to be
another face in the crowd.
We're a forest of lives,
but we grow tall and wide.
We'll never be cut down.
Destination anywhere but here.
Away from you.
Now I'm on my way to the other side,
(On my way)
I'll forget everything I left behind.
(On my way)
These empty rooms,
(On my way)
are still filled with you.
(On my way)
I'm so tired and turned around and scared.
I'm lying in empty beds again.
I'll wait for you to come
to your senses, barbed-wire fences
won't keep me from breaking through.
I swear I will to you.
Now I'm on my way to the other side,
(On my way)
I'll forget everything I left behind.
(On my way)
These empty rooms,
(On my way)
are still filled with you.
(On my way)
I'm so tired and turned around and scared.
I'm lying in empty beds again.
Away from you.