Where do I go from here??
I feel as though I'm getting nowhere on this roadtrip to life. As soon as I get one step closer to anything worthwhile, I end up hitting a pothole and taking two steps back. I've been pushing everybody away too. Friends of mine will call, and than as I glance at my cellphone to see who it is, I usually end up hitting decline or ignore. Listen to their voice mail message and hit delete, with the intent of returning their phone call someday, but than a month or two goes by, and I still haven't talked to them. I'm lucky that I even have friends anymore, at least some of them that do still talk to me.
My workplace is a fucking hell hole. All it needs is flames and really hot weather, and I'd think that I had died and gone to hell. It already has a devil, so nothing new about that. I'm sooo sick of these shitty hours, and getting paychecks that I'm lucky to have a whole $20 dollars left over to spend on gas and food with. I'm sick and tired of having to deal with Stacy, Tammy and Melissa all the time. They stinking nit pick and bitch about everything, can I not do anything stinking right? And I don't find it fair, that stinking Melissa can sit her ass on the computer all day, and check her email, yet if I even dare to check my email while I'm eating my lunch, than oh my fucking god, might as well fire me. Whatever...
My dad is losing his job soon. Koppers Industries is closing down. Lucky my family. It's so great that we are a one income family. I don't know what we are going to do now, we've depended on his income for so much. He's had to help me with paying my stuff since my paycheck won't cover much at all, and my mom doesn't really have a job. She just got one, but it only pays $5.15 an hour, and obviously that doesn't do much. It just hit my mom last night that he's actually losing it. Normally, he gets laid off every year for like five-six months at a time, but before we always knew that he'd be going back, now this year, he actually won't be going back. I don't know what's going to happen. In a way,I just wish that we'd all move. I should move. Move to a place where nobody knows who I am, what my story is, or where I've been. Start off where people get paid decent amounts of money for the work that they have to do. Anywhere but here. It sucks, I have a college degree, plus one that I'm working on, and I can't get a job anywhere. They won't hire me because I don't have experience, or possibly because I'm overweight, take your pick. Either way, they won't hire me. Where do I go from here? I can't stand not having any money? I owe so much to so many people. How am I going to pay them all off?? Where do I go??
-Vanessa
My workplace is a fucking hell hole. All it needs is flames and really hot weather, and I'd think that I had died and gone to hell. It already has a devil, so nothing new about that. I'm sooo sick of these shitty hours, and getting paychecks that I'm lucky to have a whole $20 dollars left over to spend on gas and food with. I'm sick and tired of having to deal with Stacy, Tammy and Melissa all the time. They stinking nit pick and bitch about everything, can I not do anything stinking right? And I don't find it fair, that stinking Melissa can sit her ass on the computer all day, and check her email, yet if I even dare to check my email while I'm eating my lunch, than oh my fucking god, might as well fire me. Whatever...
My dad is losing his job soon. Koppers Industries is closing down. Lucky my family. It's so great that we are a one income family. I don't know what we are going to do now, we've depended on his income for so much. He's had to help me with paying my stuff since my paycheck won't cover much at all, and my mom doesn't really have a job. She just got one, but it only pays $5.15 an hour, and obviously that doesn't do much. It just hit my mom last night that he's actually losing it. Normally, he gets laid off every year for like five-six months at a time, but before we always knew that he'd be going back, now this year, he actually won't be going back. I don't know what's going to happen. In a way,I just wish that we'd all move. I should move. Move to a place where nobody knows who I am, what my story is, or where I've been. Start off where people get paid decent amounts of money for the work that they have to do. Anywhere but here. It sucks, I have a college degree, plus one that I'm working on, and I can't get a job anywhere. They won't hire me because I don't have experience, or possibly because I'm overweight, take your pick. Either way, they won't hire me. Where do I go from here? I can't stand not having any money? I owe so much to so many people. How am I going to pay them all off?? Where do I go??
-Vanessa