Baby Braxton
Finally I get a some time to update and comment on my eventful, yet surreal child birth experience. This might take a while, so if you actually intend on reading this, just know that I'm writing it for my own sake. The whole experience just might aid in keeping our number of children at one for a while (at least until I graduate from college) because it was just that painful.
I guess my whole pregnancy kind of sucked, seeing as how the first 4 months were full of morning, afternoon, and evening sickness. I actually lost 10 lbs. my first 2 months because I was throwing up so much. The last 3 months weren't a huge change from the first except there wasn't as much vomit, just a nauseous feeling when I ate almost anything. Thank goodness for the existence of Trix cereal, Taco Bell crunchy tacos, Sweet and Sour Chicken from Tai Li, and Wendy's #1 combo. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have eaten at all. That and being fat (even more so then I already was) isn't fun at all. Everything starts to hurt, you're always tired, and you have to pee ALL THE TIME.
A couple of weeks before Braxton was born, Brett and I went to Dallas to visit his family and I drove the whole way up without stopping because I hate long drives and I'd rather just get there then stop 20 times. So, we get to the motel and I have to pee so bad, but the guy at the counter was taking forever and the next thing I know I'm walking back to the car to tell Brett I peed my pants. Of course he thought it was hilarious, but I was like eww. I had heard of babies kicking their mom's bladder and making them pee, so I was like whatever, but it kept happening so I started to freak out. I called the doctor's office and they told me to come in so they could see if my water broke, but I was like no, it couldn't have and I'm out of town, so I can't anyway. It kept happening all weekend, so when I got home I made an appointment to see my OB and when I went in she was like, oh yeah, you have ruptured membranes, you're amniotic fluid is leaking, you need to go straight to the hospital and I'll meet you up there in 30 minutes. I was like what the heck? This is not happening. I started freaking out because it was 2 months before my due date, I was just about to finish my last summer class, I hadn't taken any child birth classes so I didn't know how to have a baby, and we didn't even have the crib.
We get there and they tell us that I was going to be on bed rest so I could prolong having him so early and that if he stayed in there I could be there until my due date. That freaked me out too along with the IV and steroid shots in the butt to help his lungs develop faster, just in case he did come early, both of which sucked and were extremely painful. Especially this one antibiotic they used that burned so bad going through my arm it made me cry.
After that it was a whole week and a day of laying in bed day and night. You'd think it'd be nice to relax and have people wait on you hand and foot, but it actually gave me mild anxiety because there was so much going on that I needed to do and I couldn't do any of it. I had to let Brett take care of the bills and getting stuff up to the hospital and managing the money, which can be scary.
Then came the fun part. Four days before I went into labor, I started getting these really bad pains in my back and lower abdomen and so I told they nurses and they put the contraction monitor on to see what was going on and nothing showed up, so they gave me 2 vicoden and an ambian to help me sleep. Well, it kept happening all day and night and got worse. I was like um, if these aren't contractions, I'm not going to be able to handle them because this hurts like hell. Finally, at 5:00 pm on August 17th, the pain was so bad that the pills didn't help at all and I was crying so the nurse checked to see if I was dilated and what do you know, I was at 9 centimeters, just 1 short of having the baby. I had been in labor all day. Why they didn't check my cervix before, I don't know. So, they rush me into the labor and delivery room and I'm all freaking out and they put the IV in the back of my wrist (which hurt so bad) and I'm like, ok lets get that epidural going and they're like oh no hunny, you're going to have this baby within the next hour. I think that was the low point in my pregnancy. How do you tell someone that has planned to have an epidural the entire time they're pregnant that they can't have one. I didn't prepare myself for that kind of pain. That put me in the most vulnerable, helpless position I have and will ever be in in my entire life. From then on it was excruciating pain. It was so completely painful that it made me throw up every couple of contractions.
About and hour into it I hear the nurses start talking about getting an epidural ready and I'm like what? You couldn't give me one an hour ago? They ended up decided that I would have to wait it out. I was stuck at 9 1/2 centimeters for 4 hours. I think that was the worst part. The only reason I dealt with it so well was because I kept thinking it would be over soon, but it just kept going.
And finally Dr. Sam tells me that it's time to push and I was like great, this is almost over. Everyone I've talked to says they felt like they wanted to push by the time they were completely dialated, but I definitely was not liking that. You don't actually feel the baby coming out, it's that extreme pain in your uterus and back from the contractions and when you push it feels like your pushing everything inside of you out. AFter a couple of pushes Kim, my mom, and Brett (who were all in the room) were like, oh my gosh, we see the head and start freaking out. At that point, all I was worried about was getting him out, so in a few more pushes little Braxton entered the world. That's the surreal part. That feeling of having gone through one of the most painful things a human being can go through, without medication and being done with it. It was over and it makes you so happy. I swear, I was in this trans, like wasn't thinking about anything, just kind of looking around. They put Braxton up to me and I was so out of it. Brett cried like a baby, which was touching, and then they rushed him off into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit because he was 7 weeks early. He was only 3 lbs. 14 oz., which amazed me. He was so little. I didn't get to see him until later that night when I got enough strength to walk to the NICU. That's when I cried. He was so cute and little and it makes you so happy it hurts to finally see the little person you were carrying around for 9 months (in my case 7). He was like a little angel.
Braxton ended up spending just a few days short of 4 weeks in the hospital. Preemie baby's tend to have to learn the suck, breathe, swallow coordination, so he had a feeding tube in his nose down to his tummy to feed him until he could bottle feed. Luckily his lungs developed perfectly, all thanks to those stupid steroid shots, and his breathing and temperature maintenance were as well. My little one was perfectly healthy, just tiny. Those 4 weeks were really hard for me to have had him with me in my tummy for so long and then be separated from him for the first month of his life. I drove all the way out to the Woodlands everyday to see him. All I thought about was when they'd finally let him come home. September 11, he was finally ready and that was one of the most exciting days of my life.
Since then it's been nothing but baby. I feel like all I do is feed him since he's still slow at taking his bottles and I have to pump milk for him since he's not ready to breast feed. Then the other day I talked to a lactation consultant who showed me how to breast feed him so I have to slowly ween him from bottles to boobs. Feeding times consist of 15 minutes on each boob, then 15 minutes of pumping, then it takes him about 20 minutes to eat whatever he didn't get from the boobs, then about 10 to clean and sterilize the bottles and pumping stuff. It takes an hour and 15 minutes for just one feeding which is every 3 hours. It feels like that's all I do because it is all I do. That's ok, I love Braxton enough to stick it out for a few more weeks to see if he catches on. Otherwise, it's the bottle for this baby.
And to sum it up, my thoughts on bearing a child are that woman have such intimate and eternal bonds with their children because they go through hell and back to bring them into the world. And from then on you're whole life consists of that one child and that creates a love that is so special that only mothers can have. It makes all the bad aspects worth it to look at your child and know that they're part of you and you'd do anything for them.
I guess my whole pregnancy kind of sucked, seeing as how the first 4 months were full of morning, afternoon, and evening sickness. I actually lost 10 lbs. my first 2 months because I was throwing up so much. The last 3 months weren't a huge change from the first except there wasn't as much vomit, just a nauseous feeling when I ate almost anything. Thank goodness for the existence of Trix cereal, Taco Bell crunchy tacos, Sweet and Sour Chicken from Tai Li, and Wendy's #1 combo. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have eaten at all. That and being fat (even more so then I already was) isn't fun at all. Everything starts to hurt, you're always tired, and you have to pee ALL THE TIME.
A couple of weeks before Braxton was born, Brett and I went to Dallas to visit his family and I drove the whole way up without stopping because I hate long drives and I'd rather just get there then stop 20 times. So, we get to the motel and I have to pee so bad, but the guy at the counter was taking forever and the next thing I know I'm walking back to the car to tell Brett I peed my pants. Of course he thought it was hilarious, but I was like eww. I had heard of babies kicking their mom's bladder and making them pee, so I was like whatever, but it kept happening so I started to freak out. I called the doctor's office and they told me to come in so they could see if my water broke, but I was like no, it couldn't have and I'm out of town, so I can't anyway. It kept happening all weekend, so when I got home I made an appointment to see my OB and when I went in she was like, oh yeah, you have ruptured membranes, you're amniotic fluid is leaking, you need to go straight to the hospital and I'll meet you up there in 30 minutes. I was like what the heck? This is not happening. I started freaking out because it was 2 months before my due date, I was just about to finish my last summer class, I hadn't taken any child birth classes so I didn't know how to have a baby, and we didn't even have the crib.
We get there and they tell us that I was going to be on bed rest so I could prolong having him so early and that if he stayed in there I could be there until my due date. That freaked me out too along with the IV and steroid shots in the butt to help his lungs develop faster, just in case he did come early, both of which sucked and were extremely painful. Especially this one antibiotic they used that burned so bad going through my arm it made me cry.
After that it was a whole week and a day of laying in bed day and night. You'd think it'd be nice to relax and have people wait on you hand and foot, but it actually gave me mild anxiety because there was so much going on that I needed to do and I couldn't do any of it. I had to let Brett take care of the bills and getting stuff up to the hospital and managing the money, which can be scary.
Then came the fun part. Four days before I went into labor, I started getting these really bad pains in my back and lower abdomen and so I told they nurses and they put the contraction monitor on to see what was going on and nothing showed up, so they gave me 2 vicoden and an ambian to help me sleep. Well, it kept happening all day and night and got worse. I was like um, if these aren't contractions, I'm not going to be able to handle them because this hurts like hell. Finally, at 5:00 pm on August 17th, the pain was so bad that the pills didn't help at all and I was crying so the nurse checked to see if I was dilated and what do you know, I was at 9 centimeters, just 1 short of having the baby. I had been in labor all day. Why they didn't check my cervix before, I don't know. So, they rush me into the labor and delivery room and I'm all freaking out and they put the IV in the back of my wrist (which hurt so bad) and I'm like, ok lets get that epidural going and they're like oh no hunny, you're going to have this baby within the next hour. I think that was the low point in my pregnancy. How do you tell someone that has planned to have an epidural the entire time they're pregnant that they can't have one. I didn't prepare myself for that kind of pain. That put me in the most vulnerable, helpless position I have and will ever be in in my entire life. From then on it was excruciating pain. It was so completely painful that it made me throw up every couple of contractions.
About and hour into it I hear the nurses start talking about getting an epidural ready and I'm like what? You couldn't give me one an hour ago? They ended up decided that I would have to wait it out. I was stuck at 9 1/2 centimeters for 4 hours. I think that was the worst part. The only reason I dealt with it so well was because I kept thinking it would be over soon, but it just kept going.
And finally Dr. Sam tells me that it's time to push and I was like great, this is almost over. Everyone I've talked to says they felt like they wanted to push by the time they were completely dialated, but I definitely was not liking that. You don't actually feel the baby coming out, it's that extreme pain in your uterus and back from the contractions and when you push it feels like your pushing everything inside of you out. AFter a couple of pushes Kim, my mom, and Brett (who were all in the room) were like, oh my gosh, we see the head and start freaking out. At that point, all I was worried about was getting him out, so in a few more pushes little Braxton entered the world. That's the surreal part. That feeling of having gone through one of the most painful things a human being can go through, without medication and being done with it. It was over and it makes you so happy. I swear, I was in this trans, like wasn't thinking about anything, just kind of looking around. They put Braxton up to me and I was so out of it. Brett cried like a baby, which was touching, and then they rushed him off into the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit because he was 7 weeks early. He was only 3 lbs. 14 oz., which amazed me. He was so little. I didn't get to see him until later that night when I got enough strength to walk to the NICU. That's when I cried. He was so cute and little and it makes you so happy it hurts to finally see the little person you were carrying around for 9 months (in my case 7). He was like a little angel.
Braxton ended up spending just a few days short of 4 weeks in the hospital. Preemie baby's tend to have to learn the suck, breathe, swallow coordination, so he had a feeding tube in his nose down to his tummy to feed him until he could bottle feed. Luckily his lungs developed perfectly, all thanks to those stupid steroid shots, and his breathing and temperature maintenance were as well. My little one was perfectly healthy, just tiny. Those 4 weeks were really hard for me to have had him with me in my tummy for so long and then be separated from him for the first month of his life. I drove all the way out to the Woodlands everyday to see him. All I thought about was when they'd finally let him come home. September 11, he was finally ready and that was one of the most exciting days of my life.
Since then it's been nothing but baby. I feel like all I do is feed him since he's still slow at taking his bottles and I have to pump milk for him since he's not ready to breast feed. Then the other day I talked to a lactation consultant who showed me how to breast feed him so I have to slowly ween him from bottles to boobs. Feeding times consist of 15 minutes on each boob, then 15 minutes of pumping, then it takes him about 20 minutes to eat whatever he didn't get from the boobs, then about 10 to clean and sterilize the bottles and pumping stuff. It takes an hour and 15 minutes for just one feeding which is every 3 hours. It feels like that's all I do because it is all I do. That's ok, I love Braxton enough to stick it out for a few more weeks to see if he catches on. Otherwise, it's the bottle for this baby.
And to sum it up, my thoughts on bearing a child are that woman have such intimate and eternal bonds with their children because they go through hell and back to bring them into the world. And from then on you're whole life consists of that one child and that creates a love that is so special that only mothers can have. It makes all the bad aspects worth it to look at your child and know that they're part of you and you'd do anything for them.