Ghost - Shoulda stayed dead

Apr 13, 2014 16:27

We've all seen Ghost, that cheesy 80's movie about a dude who stays a ghost for awhile to avenge his murder. This apparently screamed "Broadway Musical" to some weirdo, and not just any weirdo. A weirdo who wanted to take us through his own personal world of ADHD.
No joke, this show was like a giant acid trip while pressing fast forward on the "Pink Elephants" scene in "Dumbo". They used this giant projector screen in EVERY SCENE. This screen was essential for certain special effects, like Ghost Sam going through a door and slow motion fighting on the Subway. But they were so proud of this movie screen they decided to use it for ALL THE THINGS. When Sam and Molly kissed, the screen showed a GIANT MOVIE OF THEM KISSING. When Sam went to work, the screen scrolled all kinds of Dow Jones figures oppresively at our faces. Whenever more than two people were on stage, the screen showed shadow people walking around or doing the same dance moves as the people on stage FOR NO REASON. It wasnt to make it look like there were more people, because there didn't need to BE more people! And the colors! And the lights flashing! I feel like my eyes look like one of those cartoon characters' eyes after they get hit with a frying pan; things are still spinning.
Now lets discuss the volume. This show had two volumes: loud and louder. And by loud I mean Guns N Roses concert loud, and by louder I mean standing inside the engine of a 747 during a nuclear holocaust. Sam only spoke at the "louder" volume. Every line was SCREAMED at everyone. I didn't care about his vengance, I just wanted him to simmer down.
Molly, the girlfriend left behind when Sam dies, is a real treat. She sings song after boring song about how much she misses Sam and how life isn't worth living. In one scene she confesses she wishes she were dead. Then, in the NEXT SCENE, with NO EXPLANATION, she is FINE! She sings about the SUNSHINE! She calls Carl and tells him she wants to hang! She is smiling and laughing!
DID I MISS A SCENE, OR WAS THE ART DIRECTOR HAVING TOO MUCH FUN PLAYING WITH HIS STUPID TV SCREEN MAKING IT "RAIN" TO EXPLAIN THIS TO ME????
Willie Lopez (the murderer) and Oda Mae Brown (the psychic) are every Puerto Rican and Black stereotype they could squeeze into one show. Which I was kind of overlooking at first, because Ghost is set in the 80s, and a lot of the humor from the movie draws off of these stereotypes, so ok...Ghost the Musical is also set in the 80's. Yup, There goes a guy listening to a giant stereo on his shoulder...there's people in leg warmers and "Fame" style shirts. Oh, those crazy 80's....
Wait, is that a Cell Phone Carl is using? Oh, but its an old flip phone...maybe they had those in the 80s? Maybe its the late 80s?
But then they tell us that Oda Mae has a public record...she was arrested for Fraud in 2001, and tax evasion in 2004...
WHAT???? So this story is set in THIS century???? That changes EVERYTHING! Everything involved in Carl's money-making scheme could have been solved by stealing Sams internet password. There would be no need to murder the guy for a wallet! Who keeps their internet passwords in their wallet? That's right, NO ONE! And Oda Mae wouldn't have set up a bank account over the PHONE today. There would be INTERNET passwords! She wouldn't need to look through people's trash for fraud, just steal their identity online!!!!!! WHAT THE HELL, SHOW.
Oda Mae gets the 10 million dollars out of the account super easily (which it SHOULDNT BE if its set in 2014!) and then proceeds to sing the longest song ever about how she's so rich and gonna spend the money. COMPLETELY POINTLESS because we all know Sam makes her donate it immediately after the song. All the songs are like this; pointless and forgettable. The best part of this show was making fun of it with David and looking forward to writing this review.
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