MY STLYLISTIC IMITATION THINGY PLEASE READ AND COMMENT I NEED HELP WITH REVISION
Vanessa Torres
Ms. Loosen
American Authors
December 8, 2005
The Unknown Remembrance
Thou, my great grandfather, Gilbert Wenzel, have been through so much malignant difficulty while becoming elderly. We shall recapture your memory and analyze it closely. Thou were brought to life on the tenth day of the last month of the seventeenth year of the nineteenth century by Josephine and Edwin Wenzel. You were brought into the world during The Great Depression, knowing only of poverty, and knowing the world was being blighted. Being the second-born of six siblings, thou had various responsibilities, as one was safekeeping your siblings while thy mother and father sought employment, which at the period, there where very few opportunities for employment.
The many gloomy nights while the war proceeded, thou hath only oatmeal to eat, the only thing thy parents could spare. Observing the dark clouds, questions ran through thou mind like a thunderbolt waiting for the lightning to strike, When will the clouds shine with brightness again? “Do thou recall great grandfather? Do thou recall any words that I speak of?” I asked, but with no response I proceeded to read the lines of his life aloud for him to pick up.
As I looked at my paper to proceed, my thoughts got interrupted by a single word from my great grandfather, “Basketball”, he replied, with a confused tone. As my memory sharpened, I recalled seeing all the basketball metals that hung upon the parlor wall. I continued to read the combustion of words that sat upon my paper. Twenty metals and The Most Valuable Player, of Allen Bradley’s Shooting Stars. “Great grandfather you accomplished so much, I wish thou could distinguish all the changes and goals thou set for thy self”.
After all thou accomplished, thou enlisted into The U.S Coast Guard, where thou were a young lad of one and eight. “Do thou recall great grandfather? Do thou recall any words I speak of?” I asked, but with not even a glance from my great grandfather I proceeded onto World War II. Thou were a medic, in The Battle of Normandy, where thou served so bravely. Boston is where thou got trained for this profession, where thou met your future wife.
I endured with the story of his life, four children, the wrenching heartbreak, of losing one female-child at birth. As my eyes wondered from my paper, I gazed upon a picture of my great grandmother hanging on the wall. It was as though my great grandfather followed my eyes, as he whispered the name of his beloved wife, “Anna”.
Ms. Loosen
American Authors
December 8, 2005
The Unknown Remembrance
Thou, my great grandfather, Gilbert Wenzel, have been through so much malignant difficulty while becoming elderly. We shall recapture your memory and analyze it closely. Thou were brought to life on the tenth day of the last month of the seventeenth year of the nineteenth century by Josephine and Edwin Wenzel. You were brought into the world during The Great Depression, knowing only of poverty, and knowing the world was being blighted. Being the second-born of six siblings, thou had various responsibilities, as one was safekeeping your siblings while thy mother and father sought employment, which at the period, there where very few opportunities for employment.
The many gloomy nights while the war proceeded, thou hath only oatmeal to eat, the only thing thy parents could spare. Observing the dark clouds, questions ran through thou mind like a thunderbolt waiting for the lightning to strike, When will the clouds shine with brightness again? “Do thou recall great grandfather? Do thou recall any words that I speak of?” I asked, but with no response I proceeded to read the lines of his life aloud for him to pick up.
As I looked at my paper to proceed, my thoughts got interrupted by a single word from my great grandfather, “Basketball”, he replied, with a confused tone. As my memory sharpened, I recalled seeing all the basketball metals that hung upon the parlor wall. I continued to read the combustion of words that sat upon my paper. Twenty metals and The Most Valuable Player, of Allen Bradley’s Shooting Stars. “Great grandfather you accomplished so much, I wish thou could distinguish all the changes and goals thou set for thy self”.
After all thou accomplished, thou enlisted into The U.S Coast Guard, where thou were a young lad of one and eight. “Do thou recall great grandfather? Do thou recall any words I speak of?” I asked, but with not even a glance from my great grandfather I proceeded onto World War II. Thou were a medic, in The Battle of Normandy, where thou served so bravely. Boston is where thou got trained for this profession, where thou met your future wife.
I endured with the story of his life, four children, the wrenching heartbreak, of losing one female-child at birth. As my eyes wondered from my paper, I gazed upon a picture of my great grandmother hanging on the wall. It was as though my great grandfather followed my eyes, as he whispered the name of his beloved wife, “Anna”.