They'll find it hard to sleep tonight.
I feel adrift as of late,
Every single night, the same arrangement, I go out and fight the fight. Still I always feel the strange estrangement. Nothing here is real. Nothing here is right.
I had an out of body experience today, it's interesting that i haven't had one since eighth grade, they used to happen all the time. It's not so much about leaving my body, it has more to do with my entire being leaving this plane and questioning our very existence.
My chest is numb, and temporarily paralyzed. And itchy. It gets annoying that I can't reach for things.
I feel like... a completely different person than I did a few months ago...
I catch myself in stores, standing in line for whatever reason, and I'll stand there and think about pancakes, it's a nice change from worrying about what can be seen. It's how i pictured it, of course. Now what i have to deal with is a very strange situation. This really is the time of life, and I'm sure there are things to look forward to, but I'm a bit overwhelmed with all that's happened.
Not even two months ago, I sat on her couch, and I told everyone about waiting to finally start Testosterone, and hoping it would happen soon.
I jumped that fence and landed in the grass, lying on my back, imagine that.
I need a new... lots of things. I have my new screenname, now is the question of whether i want to get a new LJ account that isn't nesprincess. With pictures of me. The problem is I don't look cool.
Someday I will tell you how much it has meant to me to know you for these years, specifically since 2007.
Someday, when I get you alone, I'll tell you that story.
Thanks for adding me to your friends' list.