So I've been going through old posts...
...and I noticed something.
I miss Dave. Are you out there somewhere, Dave? I miss you.
The thing with all that time we spent being platonic life partners is that I got spoiled. I still talk to wonderful people, but it's his Daveness I miss -- the combination of tough guy and open-hearted intellectual. I miss talking for hours, I miss lunch dates, I miss Friday Night Fires, I miss him inspiring me to write and write and write. I miss his gut-checks when I was ambivalent about some permutation of my life. I miss how easy it was to flirt with him, and how safe he made me feel about that, and his promise never to have "the talk" with me -- and how he kept that promise. I even miss those moments when I was so tempted, so sharply and deeply tempted to violate the boundaries, and even how hard I fought to control that urge. I miss living in each other's pockets, being inseparable, finding excuses to spend time together, just so we could talk longer. I miss the delicious ache of one of the most massive and enduring crushes I've ever refused to even consider acting on. I miss being able to tell him I loved him without it meaning anything more than that he lived (lives still) in my heart. I miss spending just about every day with someone to whom I felt so deeply connected that I was sure it would never go away.
Yeah. I miss Dave.
I miss Dave. Are you out there somewhere, Dave? I miss you.
The thing with all that time we spent being platonic life partners is that I got spoiled. I still talk to wonderful people, but it's his Daveness I miss -- the combination of tough guy and open-hearted intellectual. I miss talking for hours, I miss lunch dates, I miss Friday Night Fires, I miss him inspiring me to write and write and write. I miss his gut-checks when I was ambivalent about some permutation of my life. I miss how easy it was to flirt with him, and how safe he made me feel about that, and his promise never to have "the talk" with me -- and how he kept that promise. I even miss those moments when I was so tempted, so sharply and deeply tempted to violate the boundaries, and even how hard I fought to control that urge. I miss living in each other's pockets, being inseparable, finding excuses to spend time together, just so we could talk longer. I miss the delicious ache of one of the most massive and enduring crushes I've ever refused to even consider acting on. I miss being able to tell him I loved him without it meaning anything more than that he lived (lives still) in my heart. I miss spending just about every day with someone to whom I felt so deeply connected that I was sure it would never go away.
Yeah. I miss Dave.