It's not like I believe in everlasting love.
I fucking love the Cowboys. I'd probably sleep with anyone on that team. Except Romo, because he reminds me of my brother.
I went to a bridal show at the towers today, with Sarah. It's so weird saying that I'm going to be her bridesmaid. She's getting married! So weird. It makes me feel like I should be a grownup. I'm so happy for her, though. Her mom asked me if I ever saw this day coming and I told her of course. Such a cute couple!
My mom left for Arizona yesterday. She flew out with my grandmother, to stay with my aunt. I know my grandmother has a return ticket. My mom doesn't. She has a child support hearing on the 27th, and she doesn't think she'll be back for it. When I tried to press for more information, she said she has to wait for her next tdi check, in order to buy the ticket. It felt like there was more to it that she didn't want to talk about. My aunt is a pretty heavy drinker and it scares the shit out of me that she's out there indefinitely, once my grandmother leaves. I feel like such a shifty person for not visiting her more during my weekends home. She once told me that she sees my as an old oak tree with roots that go deep into the ground, and a solid trunk. I wish I could feel that strong. I wish I had more faith in her recovery. To me, she's a flower. Graceful stem, vibrant, fragile petals. Never getting enough sun, no matter how far she reaches. I feel so fucking useless and worthless.
Sometimes I'm still that ten year old girl that just wants her mom.
I went to a bridal show at the towers today, with Sarah. It's so weird saying that I'm going to be her bridesmaid. She's getting married! So weird. It makes me feel like I should be a grownup. I'm so happy for her, though. Her mom asked me if I ever saw this day coming and I told her of course. Such a cute couple!
My mom left for Arizona yesterday. She flew out with my grandmother, to stay with my aunt. I know my grandmother has a return ticket. My mom doesn't. She has a child support hearing on the 27th, and she doesn't think she'll be back for it. When I tried to press for more information, she said she has to wait for her next tdi check, in order to buy the ticket. It felt like there was more to it that she didn't want to talk about. My aunt is a pretty heavy drinker and it scares the shit out of me that she's out there indefinitely, once my grandmother leaves. I feel like such a shifty person for not visiting her more during my weekends home. She once told me that she sees my as an old oak tree with roots that go deep into the ground, and a solid trunk. I wish I could feel that strong. I wish I had more faith in her recovery. To me, she's a flower. Graceful stem, vibrant, fragile petals. Never getting enough sun, no matter how far she reaches. I feel so fucking useless and worthless.
Sometimes I'm still that ten year old girl that just wants her mom.