(no subject)
I realized yesterday why so many people live in the moment. it seems so obvious now, but the way it struck me was as if it just came to such clarity, such perfection, just bloomed in my mind so fantastically and in just the perfect words.
it's just so easy. of course it's easy -- it's the only thing that's real. think back to something that happened last year, last week, or even a few minutes ago; they're all just memories. just memories. even when you're driving down the street at night with the orange streetlights slipping by, the street that stretches behind you that you just drove over is only a memory. even the turn you took less than 100 yards behind is just a memory. what you're seeing, what you're feeling, hearing, what you're doing, it's what's happening. it's reality.
if you're not looking at a loan you can't pay off or a rejection letter from your dream college, if you're not being hung up on by your angry cousin or punched in the face by someone who's supposed to be your friend, if it's all not happening now, it's not real to you. it's so easy to feel comfortable now and not worry about later. it's delicious.
well, there is one way to sum it up:
oops.
it's as if all the honor roll report cards I got
and all of those attendance awards in high school
finally just backfired on me.
pent up in there somewhere was an Achilles inside of me --
not the Achilles with the heel, but
an Achilles with the temper, the fists of anger --
and he exploded within me.
mom says I've officially wrecked one diner too many,
but with all the A minuses (those seven or so points
short of perfect) I think it would be freeing
to chip a little more off of society
the way my physical science teacher chipped off of my grades.
it was a short run with some rascals
who are company friends (not tell-them-everything friends)
and we leapt into the back of the truck
like squirrels into their trees,
but I can see the wrecked floors and toppled tables as if we never left,
beautiful with low morning light blanketing them,
the crumbling of the Trojan war in the mists of the AM.
I bet Achilles never got A minuses.
it's just so easy. of course it's easy -- it's the only thing that's real. think back to something that happened last year, last week, or even a few minutes ago; they're all just memories. just memories. even when you're driving down the street at night with the orange streetlights slipping by, the street that stretches behind you that you just drove over is only a memory. even the turn you took less than 100 yards behind is just a memory. what you're seeing, what you're feeling, hearing, what you're doing, it's what's happening. it's reality.
if you're not looking at a loan you can't pay off or a rejection letter from your dream college, if you're not being hung up on by your angry cousin or punched in the face by someone who's supposed to be your friend, if it's all not happening now, it's not real to you. it's so easy to feel comfortable now and not worry about later. it's delicious.
well, there is one way to sum it up:
oops.
it's as if all the honor roll report cards I got
and all of those attendance awards in high school
finally just backfired on me.
pent up in there somewhere was an Achilles inside of me --
not the Achilles with the heel, but
an Achilles with the temper, the fists of anger --
and he exploded within me.
mom says I've officially wrecked one diner too many,
but with all the A minuses (those seven or so points
short of perfect) I think it would be freeing
to chip a little more off of society
the way my physical science teacher chipped off of my grades.
it was a short run with some rascals
who are company friends (not tell-them-everything friends)
and we leapt into the back of the truck
like squirrels into their trees,
but I can see the wrecked floors and toppled tables as if we never left,
beautiful with low morning light blanketing them,
the crumbling of the Trojan war in the mists of the AM.
I bet Achilles never got A minuses.