curses. I want Westfield.
curses.
I hate it here. I really do. I just want Westfield.
Dustin went to see a movie instead of seeing me yesterday, which was made rather okay by the fact that I knew there'd be no school today. however, I can't see him today either & for some reason it's beating me up.
maybe it's just because it hasn't felt like I really live in this stupid place when I can just stay in Westfield all the time. I was really hoping today would be a day where I could gather myself together before I have to go to the new school, but I've been falling apart worse than ever. I hate how I've never ever been able to keep myself from crying when I want to.
why do we have to be here? I want my life back. instead of taking one last day to build up my strength, I'm stuck in this godawful place & it's just a big, fat reminder that I'm living in the middle of a bunch of strangers in a place that will never be home with my horrible, selfish father.
I wish I could just snap out of this. fucking snow.
I hate it here. I really do. I just want Westfield.
Dustin went to see a movie instead of seeing me yesterday, which was made rather okay by the fact that I knew there'd be no school today. however, I can't see him today either & for some reason it's beating me up.
maybe it's just because it hasn't felt like I really live in this stupid place when I can just stay in Westfield all the time. I was really hoping today would be a day where I could gather myself together before I have to go to the new school, but I've been falling apart worse than ever. I hate how I've never ever been able to keep myself from crying when I want to.
why do we have to be here? I want my life back. instead of taking one last day to build up my strength, I'm stuck in this godawful place & it's just a big, fat reminder that I'm living in the middle of a bunch of strangers in a place that will never be home with my horrible, selfish father.
I wish I could just snap out of this. fucking snow.