I don't have the words..
There is so much that I would love to write about everything that's going on, but because I'm not only short in time, but also just simply don't know how to put everything to words, it'll be one big ravel that no one exept for me will understand.
Let me make clear that everything about the ravel is amazingly positive. Let there be no misunderstanding about it!!
Everything between me and Niels is working out so good, that I can hardly keep up!
Today, a week ago, he really asked me to be his girl. To be honest.. Not even in my most fairy tale thrums I didn't dare to dream about that. But, it really happened and, of course, I accepted his heart with great gratitude! However I was having a pretty hard time letting it sink in.
Last week was incredible, yesterday was a miracle and today was a blessing. And it won't stop there!
Yesterday Niels was with his friend having a beer, got totally wasted.. He started texting me at 2:45, I already gave up hope that he would actually text me that night, but he did and not with the least words either. After a while he said he was going home, but after an hour he still didn't let me know that he arrived. A couple of texts and minutes passed before he replied that he was home and sat at the bar with his dad. Then, suddenly, he got a bit rude.. saying that he was going to bed, but in a restrained way.. I was a bit confused about that, cause he was so nice to me earlier.. But that was because he was (he told me that earlier today) struggling with his feelings. Out of the F'ing blue he asked me to pick him up, cause however he didn't feel good, he really wanted to be with me. So, I jumped up, told my brother to stay where he was and ran around like a maniac, screaming and yelling that he wanted to pick me up and that I couldn't believe it. He seemed surprised about the fact that I was actually coming to get him and he told me that he was having tears in his eyes. I was really touched, beyond the power of words, I was deeply touched.
When I got there, he asked me if I wanted to come in for a drink and a chat with his parents and of course I'd follow him. Most of the time that we sat there, it was only me and him. We were talked to, but all we wanted was kiss and touch each other. After 15 or so, we made way to my place, where my brother was still waiting. He stayed a short time still, but left us to be alone. As he knows how it is when you want to be with your loved one and actually to be alone with your loved one. However I felt bad for him, I know that he understands it all very well and that he wants nothing else then to see me happy.
After being silly for a while, Niels wanted to go to bed and so I took him to bed and crawled next to him for a while. That's where all the true feelings got voiced for the very first time. And without having to quote every little sweet thing he said to me there are a few things that I would love to share.
For a starter; He asked me to join him again thursday next week when he'll have his night out with his friends. Which surprised me for sure! He told me that he really liked it to have me around.
Second; He told me that being with me changed him. And that he was actually very happy about it.
Third; He said: "I would really like it if you would join me on boxing day to visit my mother." Along with the amazing words: "I never ever asked anyone to join me before..." *sigh* I realised already that this was a very VERY big deal to him... <3
Really, I'm still utterly head over heels of all that he told me yesterday.. And to make it even "worse", I took my chance to say what I wanted him to know. It was hard for him, but I could feel that he liked to hear all that.
*skip all the rest, cause otherwise I'm still writing tomorrow, and I am in a little hurry already!*
He needed to check out a house today, which I helped him a bit with, as in pushing him to call and make moves to make it happen. And not so long ago he called me ( he NEVER called me before :O) to say that he'll be moving in Jan. 1st!! That's not even a month ahead anymore!!! I was the first person he called to tell the happy news to. Which again tells how much I seem to mean to him. I'm so proud of him, I can't even put to words how proud I am!! He thanked me big time for the fact that I made him actually take action, which got him his own place. But I really don't want to take any credits for it, cause he did everything himself. However I understand this is a very biggy in our relationship...
*Oooh happy dayyyyysss*
The fun, luck and everything doesn't stop there!! I'm going to a hardcore party tonight and he'll be there too! He told me that he was really happy that I'll be there too, however I don't want to get high expectations for tonight, cause I know where that'll end... Plus he'll be using speed for his first time tonight which can..... well I'll just stop there.. No need to get the disaster scenario out, cause we'll have a great evening anyways, cause Mikey is coming over to join us!!!!!!!!
The only thing I hope for is that I get to take my love home after the party and that he wont go to the afterparty he's invited for. But maybe I'm asking too much already, so I'll just hope for it and try my best not to be disappointed when he doesn't come home with me.
Well, that's about it for now. Gotta hurry!
Have a great weekend!
xx