ha ha ha... =/
yesterday i wrote about how good i thought i was doing and how i started my new job today but i could barely sleep last night and had so much anxiety.. i woke up this morning and got ready.. and then i decided not to go.
here are the reasons:
1. anxiety. working in the big city nearly gave me a heart attack alst year.
2. the commute makes me want to cry. it would suck the life out of me in seconds.
3. i have to dress professional.
4. i'm not professional.
5. i would just be completely unhappy.
and it sucks that i had to make the decision at the last minute because now i need to hurry to find a new job.. luckily its the beginning of the month and i've already paid rent.
so now that i feel really guilty and irresponsible.. well.. i dont know. i think it was the right thing for me to do. i dont know. thats not me. its funny how all of my life my sister felt really jealous of me.. and now the tables have turned and i am completely jealous of her.
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
but its okay.
i know the world isn't going to end because i didn't go to my job.
but my family is goint to be really disapointed in me.
but its not like it'll be the first time.
i am living myself for me and not for them anymore.
so there.
here are the reasons:
1. anxiety. working in the big city nearly gave me a heart attack alst year.
2. the commute makes me want to cry. it would suck the life out of me in seconds.
3. i have to dress professional.
4. i'm not professional.
5. i would just be completely unhappy.
and it sucks that i had to make the decision at the last minute because now i need to hurry to find a new job.. luckily its the beginning of the month and i've already paid rent.
so now that i feel really guilty and irresponsible.. well.. i dont know. i think it was the right thing for me to do. i dont know. thats not me. its funny how all of my life my sister felt really jealous of me.. and now the tables have turned and i am completely jealous of her.
gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
but its okay.
i know the world isn't going to end because i didn't go to my job.
but my family is goint to be really disapointed in me.
but its not like it'll be the first time.
i am living myself for me and not for them anymore.
so there.