Note to self
Thank you for being retarded. for needing more than could be give. for being cliche. some times love just is not enough. why the fuck not? why cant love be enough? why cant i be happy with just being loved? being loved the only way he can, or knows how. why isnt that good enough for me? why cant he be enough of a family. why do i need / want / expect so much more from life. is that realistic? Is it stupid? Is it just a cover? an excuse to push people and things away.
and why the fuck am i sitting on kevins floor at 12:26 with fucking final fantasy music playing in the background? with a munny in pieces on the table, still drying. because im fucking stupid. because I always try harder than i should. because i always go the extra mile for nothing. so i can hate myself even more when things dont work. or when i become destructive and sabattage things because YES LETS SAY IT TOGETHER!!! IM FUCKING STUPID!!! lol. nice
Yes hes sweet and hes affectionate and funny. but hes fucking stupid. or maybe again im expecting more than i should. but youd think at 27 youd be better at this relationship thing than i am. my predictions his lack of skills to read other peoples emotions... and or take intiative to make and effort to seem and such and or his lack of communication will be the disease that kills this slowly.
nice to know you were upset about some girl from the past, which is the reason you went out ant drank on a wed and nearly killed yourself totaling your car like a moron. nice of you to tell me youw ere upset to start with.... oh wait! Just Kidding!!! lol yup had to hear that from russ.... and then the reason from your mom. who is an amazing lady and i feel terrible for what you put her through.
gretchen stop! youre ruining things! you try and then you crush.. why ? either go whole heartedly or run the other fucking way. you cant keep doing this two steps forward one step back and then take a small break.
youre fucking nuts and you need to get your shit together. life isnt going to take a break and wait for you... so you might want to get a fucking move on. ok thank you and good night <3
and why the fuck am i sitting on kevins floor at 12:26 with fucking final fantasy music playing in the background? with a munny in pieces on the table, still drying. because im fucking stupid. because I always try harder than i should. because i always go the extra mile for nothing. so i can hate myself even more when things dont work. or when i become destructive and sabattage things because YES LETS SAY IT TOGETHER!!! IM FUCKING STUPID!!! lol. nice
Yes hes sweet and hes affectionate and funny. but hes fucking stupid. or maybe again im expecting more than i should. but youd think at 27 youd be better at this relationship thing than i am. my predictions his lack of skills to read other peoples emotions... and or take intiative to make and effort to seem and such and or his lack of communication will be the disease that kills this slowly.
nice to know you were upset about some girl from the past, which is the reason you went out ant drank on a wed and nearly killed yourself totaling your car like a moron. nice of you to tell me youw ere upset to start with.... oh wait! Just Kidding!!! lol yup had to hear that from russ.... and then the reason from your mom. who is an amazing lady and i feel terrible for what you put her through.
gretchen stop! youre ruining things! you try and then you crush.. why ? either go whole heartedly or run the other fucking way. you cant keep doing this two steps forward one step back and then take a small break.
youre fucking nuts and you need to get your shit together. life isnt going to take a break and wait for you... so you might want to get a fucking move on. ok thank you and good night <3