May I suggest a contemplation of boundaries? So you cut the guy's hair. Does that equate taking on full responsibility for him as a human being? Might that include taking responsibility for his addiction, his recovery, his well-being generally? Love don't really work that way. People need to learn to be self-sufficient and self-supporting or they don't really recover from their addictions anyways. And you can't rescue your uncle. Dead is dead. You can help, but you can't miracle people into doing or being what you want. and as someone who has tried to follow the same path, it's almost worse when it works. It isn't healthy for anyone to become the replacement dependency for someone's chemical or psychological habit. If you can look at the haircut as a haircut, then cut his hair. If you look at the haircut as a doorway to getting into his head and straightening him out, then stay home. And if the last and final boundary has to be put up, then do it: "Sorry, you were pretty cool back in the day and you have taken some hard hits, but I can't handle junkies. It's my shit there due to my life to date and not your issue, but there it is. It ain't healthy for me and I cannot fucking go there."
So you cut the guy's hair. Does that equate taking on full responsibility for him as a human being? Might that include taking responsibility for his addiction, his recovery, his well-being generally?
Love don't really work that way. People need to learn to be self-sufficient and self-supporting or they don't really recover from their addictions anyways.
And you can't rescue your uncle. Dead is dead. You can help, but you can't miracle people into doing or being what you want. and as someone who has tried to follow the same path, it's almost worse when it works. It isn't healthy for anyone to become the replacement dependency for someone's chemical or psychological habit.
If you can look at the haircut as a haircut, then cut his hair.
If you look at the haircut as a doorway to getting into his head and straightening him out, then stay home.
And if the last and final boundary has to be put up, then do it: "Sorry, you were pretty cool back in the day and you have taken some hard hits, but I can't handle junkies. It's my shit there due to my life to date and not your issue, but there it is. It ain't healthy for me and I cannot fucking go there."
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