The One in Which Jez Talks About Friends & Social Networking
I don't know if you all read this yesterday, but I tweeted a link to this article by Seth "Tower" Hurd (and omg I love Tower, he's my favorite radio dj) about friends, loss, & social networking. I really liked the article and it got me thinking. He mentions in there how we can only have so many good friends, and that if we try for any more, we end up with a whole bunch of acquaintances instead of friends. And that, my friends, is where social networking shines. Social networking can be a great way to keep in touch with good friends (twitter stalking, I does it), but it also makes it easy to turn friends into acquaintances.
It’s easy to see why escaping to the social networking world is so inviting. On Facebook, you can hide behind a persona, be any version of yourself you can dream up. Online friends don’t borrow money and not pay it back, gossip or spill Gatorade in your car. They don’t show up at your house after just getting dumped and stay until 2 a.m. when you have to be at work in the morning. Online “friendships” are always efficient.
With online relationships, we can choose what they know about us, & we can choose which aspects of their life to get involved in. When someone tweets or updates their facebook status to say that they're chronically depressed, and we don't know what to say, we can ignore it. We can comment on the fun things like "I got an A!" but we can avoid all the hard parts. "Online "friendships" are always efficient" they're easier, which is why these days we're tending to gravitate towards them. We like things easy & we don't like to get our hands dirty. In doing this though, we isolate ourselves from real, deep relationships. We don't put ourselves out there, and then we loose that close connection with someone else. It's a choice we have to make: do we put ourselves at risk in a real friendship, or do we keep things simple & miss out?
Do we give up our acquaintances in order to work at only the real relationships? One of my friends has less than 30 friends on facebook, but she keeps in touch with them. I have 175, but I garauntee you that I talk to only about 30 tops. I could delete the rest, but I'm afraid that they'll find out & be mad at me. But just because we're facebook friends, doesn't mean we're real friends. And by focusing on my real friends, I've fallen completely out of touch with many of those others. It's a bit of a double-edged sword.
The thing is though, girls, I don't think we are like all those other online friendships. I have some really good relationships with people online. You girls, Mike, Karina, those are my close friendships for the main part. And social networking (especially twitter) has helped keep me in touch with other friends that have gone away to school or who I don't see every single day. I may know you girls online, but I've also shared a lot with you all that I don't share with other people. I texted you all about the incident right after I called my parents & texted Mike. I've had Hilary call me when she was upset about one thing or another. We're closer than just acquaintances, we're actual friends. I love that about you girls.
I'm going to cut off now, because jenthepanda is still here (as she has been most of the day) and I don't want to ignore her anymore than I already have, haha. But just one more thing: HAVE YOU SEEN GABY'S FLICKR ACCOUNT?!?! I found it again yesterday & went through all the older pictures and OMG SHE IS AMAZING. I'm making icons out of some of them, haha. I love you Gabs.
Comment questions!
1. Which kind of friend do you have more of, real friends or acquaintances? Which do you prefer?
2. Do you have any online friends that you consider real friends?
3. What's your favorite fruit? (Jen wants to know)
4. How can you do the voodoo that you do so well? (Question supplied by Mr. Dr. Mike)
It’s easy to see why escaping to the social networking world is so inviting. On Facebook, you can hide behind a persona, be any version of yourself you can dream up. Online friends don’t borrow money and not pay it back, gossip or spill Gatorade in your car. They don’t show up at your house after just getting dumped and stay until 2 a.m. when you have to be at work in the morning. Online “friendships” are always efficient.
With online relationships, we can choose what they know about us, & we can choose which aspects of their life to get involved in. When someone tweets or updates their facebook status to say that they're chronically depressed, and we don't know what to say, we can ignore it. We can comment on the fun things like "I got an A!" but we can avoid all the hard parts. "Online "friendships" are always efficient" they're easier, which is why these days we're tending to gravitate towards them. We like things easy & we don't like to get our hands dirty. In doing this though, we isolate ourselves from real, deep relationships. We don't put ourselves out there, and then we loose that close connection with someone else. It's a choice we have to make: do we put ourselves at risk in a real friendship, or do we keep things simple & miss out?
Do we give up our acquaintances in order to work at only the real relationships? One of my friends has less than 30 friends on facebook, but she keeps in touch with them. I have 175, but I garauntee you that I talk to only about 30 tops. I could delete the rest, but I'm afraid that they'll find out & be mad at me. But just because we're facebook friends, doesn't mean we're real friends. And by focusing on my real friends, I've fallen completely out of touch with many of those others. It's a bit of a double-edged sword.
The thing is though, girls, I don't think we are like all those other online friendships. I have some really good relationships with people online. You girls, Mike, Karina, those are my close friendships for the main part. And social networking (especially twitter) has helped keep me in touch with other friends that have gone away to school or who I don't see every single day. I may know you girls online, but I've also shared a lot with you all that I don't share with other people. I texted you all about the incident right after I called my parents & texted Mike. I've had Hilary call me when she was upset about one thing or another. We're closer than just acquaintances, we're actual friends. I love that about you girls.
I'm going to cut off now, because jenthepanda is still here (as she has been most of the day) and I don't want to ignore her anymore than I already have, haha. But just one more thing: HAVE YOU SEEN GABY'S FLICKR ACCOUNT?!?! I found it again yesterday & went through all the older pictures and OMG SHE IS AMAZING. I'm making icons out of some of them, haha. I love you Gabs.
Comment questions!
1. Which kind of friend do you have more of, real friends or acquaintances? Which do you prefer?
2. Do you have any online friends that you consider real friends?
3. What's your favorite fruit? (Jen wants to know)
4. How can you do the voodoo that you do so well? (Question supplied by Mr. Dr. Mike)