One Last Goodbye (John/Punk Drabble)
Just a simple drabble for the RP group I'm in. Theme is Death. Punk's POV. Slash of course. Reviews are welcome. xD
His hands were shaking. Of course, why wouldn't they shake? It had been a rough day. Too many people to assist, so many things to do. It was wearing him out. But it will end soon. All of it. And it broke his heart more.
There was a hand on his shoulder and a voice whispering into his ear. "It's your turn, Phil."
He didn't turn around to see who it was, and he merely nodded, staggered to the front of the room, took hold of the mic. He caught a glance of his lover's portrait, smiling at him. Assuring him the everything would be fine.
It hurt.
He scratched his nose, cleared his throat, bobbed on his feet, thinking of where to start. Not that he was afraid to talk to the crowd, but in all honesty, he didn't want to disappoint. This was important to him. Fiddling on the wedding band around his finger, he finally brought the microphone to his lips, voice cracking as he uttered one name.
"John..."
Fuck, he was tearing up too soon. No, no crying. Not anymore. He lifted his head to the crowd, glancing at his family, glancing at John's family. But John wasn't there. It felt incomplete.
"He's... John Cena is the weirdest man you'll ever meet..." He forced out a chuckle, smiling lightly as he stared on the ground. "Compliment him, shout at him, scream at him, tell him he sucks, tell him the stupidest thing in the whole world, but he'd just smile at you with that... trademark, dimpled smile of his..." Pausing to take a deep breath, he closed his eyes as he resumed on speaking. "To some, it was annoying. To me, and probably to all of you, it was adorable."
He paused again, the image of his lover's smile inside his head. His hands trembled again as tears started to form his eyes. "I fell in love with that smile. Made me feel like everything was fine in the world. And then he'd stare at me with those... incredibly blue eyes... and I know... I know that everything will be fine..."
Some people were sniffling on their seats. He could see Matt staring hardly on the ground. But he couldn't see anyone else for the tears had started to blur his sight. Despite that, he kept on, his voice breaking as he resumed on speaking. "John and I, we... we've been through a lot. There had been tears, heartaches, pain... but once you meet that person who would stand beside you, no matter what life throws at you, you will find yourself back on your feet, moving forward, moving on because you know that your partner, your soulmate, will be there to protect you, to support you with every step of the way--"
And now he's gone.
Tears started to fall. It made it hard to breathe. Hard to speak. "...And John was that guy.. my partner, soulmate, best friend, lover... He was my better half... He was.." Voice broke into a forced whisper. "...He was mine..."
And then he dropped the microphone as he walked fast to the exit, not even minding the people who were probably following right behind him. He broke out into a run, legs taking him nowhere but he didn't care. He wanted to get away from the place. He couldn't take it. It hurt so bad.
There were so many things to say, but Punk couldn't bring them out. He could have told everyone how much he loved John, how perfect the man was, his smile, his voice, his eyes, his arms that always made him feel safe.
The arms that he would never, ever feel wrapped around his body anymore.
He found himself out of the church, the most unlikely place you would ever see him come out of, and he pressed his back against the cemented surface of the church wall, sliding down to the ground with the heels of his hands pressed against his eyes, panting heavily and sobbing hard. He thought of John. What he would say to him if he was here, the soothing voice that would calm him down, the smile that would make him smile back.
"Get up, kid. You'll ruin your suit."
Even just imagining his voice had him sobbing in a gut-wrenching manner, heart pouring out as he sat on the ground, hands gripping his hair, for he had nothing to hold on to anymore. He didn't want to go inside anymore. No matter how many people persuaded him to. He wouldn't go back.
"You know you have to."
He knew John would say that. It was expected that he would say that after all. But he wouldn't. He would have if John was there to tell him. If he was still alive to say it.
He stood from the ground, tears streaming down his face as he walked to his rental and drove home. Found voice mails and texts from his friends and family, asking why he left the ceremony in such a manner. There was only one reason but he didn't bother sending them any response.
All he knew was that he would never, ever be able to say goodbye to John.
His hands were shaking. Of course, why wouldn't they shake? It had been a rough day. Too many people to assist, so many things to do. It was wearing him out. But it will end soon. All of it. And it broke his heart more.
There was a hand on his shoulder and a voice whispering into his ear. "It's your turn, Phil."
He didn't turn around to see who it was, and he merely nodded, staggered to the front of the room, took hold of the mic. He caught a glance of his lover's portrait, smiling at him. Assuring him the everything would be fine.
It hurt.
He scratched his nose, cleared his throat, bobbed on his feet, thinking of where to start. Not that he was afraid to talk to the crowd, but in all honesty, he didn't want to disappoint. This was important to him. Fiddling on the wedding band around his finger, he finally brought the microphone to his lips, voice cracking as he uttered one name.
"John..."
Fuck, he was tearing up too soon. No, no crying. Not anymore. He lifted his head to the crowd, glancing at his family, glancing at John's family. But John wasn't there. It felt incomplete.
"He's... John Cena is the weirdest man you'll ever meet..." He forced out a chuckle, smiling lightly as he stared on the ground. "Compliment him, shout at him, scream at him, tell him he sucks, tell him the stupidest thing in the whole world, but he'd just smile at you with that... trademark, dimpled smile of his..." Pausing to take a deep breath, he closed his eyes as he resumed on speaking. "To some, it was annoying. To me, and probably to all of you, it was adorable."
He paused again, the image of his lover's smile inside his head. His hands trembled again as tears started to form his eyes. "I fell in love with that smile. Made me feel like everything was fine in the world. And then he'd stare at me with those... incredibly blue eyes... and I know... I know that everything will be fine..."
Some people were sniffling on their seats. He could see Matt staring hardly on the ground. But he couldn't see anyone else for the tears had started to blur his sight. Despite that, he kept on, his voice breaking as he resumed on speaking. "John and I, we... we've been through a lot. There had been tears, heartaches, pain... but once you meet that person who would stand beside you, no matter what life throws at you, you will find yourself back on your feet, moving forward, moving on because you know that your partner, your soulmate, will be there to protect you, to support you with every step of the way--"
And now he's gone.
Tears started to fall. It made it hard to breathe. Hard to speak. "...And John was that guy.. my partner, soulmate, best friend, lover... He was my better half... He was.." Voice broke into a forced whisper. "...He was mine..."
And then he dropped the microphone as he walked fast to the exit, not even minding the people who were probably following right behind him. He broke out into a run, legs taking him nowhere but he didn't care. He wanted to get away from the place. He couldn't take it. It hurt so bad.
There were so many things to say, but Punk couldn't bring them out. He could have told everyone how much he loved John, how perfect the man was, his smile, his voice, his eyes, his arms that always made him feel safe.
The arms that he would never, ever feel wrapped around his body anymore.
He found himself out of the church, the most unlikely place you would ever see him come out of, and he pressed his back against the cemented surface of the church wall, sliding down to the ground with the heels of his hands pressed against his eyes, panting heavily and sobbing hard. He thought of John. What he would say to him if he was here, the soothing voice that would calm him down, the smile that would make him smile back.
"Get up, kid. You'll ruin your suit."
Even just imagining his voice had him sobbing in a gut-wrenching manner, heart pouring out as he sat on the ground, hands gripping his hair, for he had nothing to hold on to anymore. He didn't want to go inside anymore. No matter how many people persuaded him to. He wouldn't go back.
"You know you have to."
He knew John would say that. It was expected that he would say that after all. But he wouldn't. He would have if John was there to tell him. If he was still alive to say it.
He stood from the ground, tears streaming down his face as he walked to his rental and drove home. Found voice mails and texts from his friends and family, asking why he left the ceremony in such a manner. There was only one reason but he didn't bother sending them any response.
All he knew was that he would never, ever be able to say goodbye to John.