Because i think too much.
For no apparent reason...
I am having a mental break down. I cannot seem to let myself stay happy. I worry so much that i exhaust all inclinations to be content. I am on the verge of losing my job, my academic career is seeming to come to a hault, pretty soon, i will be out on my own. Not because I want to, but because my own extensive state of lethargy has lapidated me into a person of uselessness.
I feel useless. except in the fact that I have soo much love to give. I have such brilliant ideas but feel as though i cant implement them unless I follow text book. There is a map of things to do but i cant seem to find which way is up. I have so easy, yet so hard. I can do this. I can do this. I have the optimism that is so needed for a person to do anything. but then i look out the window and feel myself slipping into the abyss of anxiety.
There's someone who can save me from myself. Or atleast I think so. I see salvation in her eyes. I do and I dont want something romantic. but i romanticize everything. When I am with you I dont appreciate you. Without you i feel like i dont get enough of you. I hate looking at myself in the mirror and not understanding how I let myself fall into things like these. I'm a broken record. The minute i think I have it figured out an hour passes.
Sanity. Sweet sanity. Abode me.
I am having a mental break down. I cannot seem to let myself stay happy. I worry so much that i exhaust all inclinations to be content. I am on the verge of losing my job, my academic career is seeming to come to a hault, pretty soon, i will be out on my own. Not because I want to, but because my own extensive state of lethargy has lapidated me into a person of uselessness.
I feel useless. except in the fact that I have soo much love to give. I have such brilliant ideas but feel as though i cant implement them unless I follow text book. There is a map of things to do but i cant seem to find which way is up. I have so easy, yet so hard. I can do this. I can do this. I have the optimism that is so needed for a person to do anything. but then i look out the window and feel myself slipping into the abyss of anxiety.
There's someone who can save me from myself. Or atleast I think so. I see salvation in her eyes. I do and I dont want something romantic. but i romanticize everything. When I am with you I dont appreciate you. Without you i feel like i dont get enough of you. I hate looking at myself in the mirror and not understanding how I let myself fall into things like these. I'm a broken record. The minute i think I have it figured out an hour passes.
Sanity. Sweet sanity. Abode me.