Hurr Durr
1: About six people have tagged me to do one of these things, so why the hell not.
2: I’m laying in bed watching Conan, typing this on my iPhone.
3: I haven’t done one of these things since the days Livejournal required an invite. You know, back when it was relevant.
4: The iPhone thing. I own an iMac now too. The iMac is because Final Cut Pro is my job, and I literally won’t be able to not have one. The iPhone, I legitimately believe is the best phone on the market for what I want it to do.
4: I get called a hipster a lot. It’s a point of contention, because it’s a baseless term. There’s no definition for what it is, other than being inherently negative. It’s like if calling someone a nerd was still a negative thing. It’s like calling me an ass.
5: B.J. Novak is doing better on Conan than L.L. Cool J was. J kind of bombed, it was weird.
6: The name “Greg L. Mercer’s Spatchcock Chicken Recipes” comes from an Achewood thing. To spatchcock a chicken is to rip out it’s spine and ribs, and flatten the flesh. It’s more or less a funny way to say that you are butterflying the chicken. It was, more or less, the first thing to come to mind when picking a name.
7: Over the last 4 or 5 years, I have (much like fabled hero Scott Pilgrim) gained the power of self respect. I like myself. I could stand to be in better shape and work a little harder, but I LOVE being me. I think I’m funny and good looking when I actually try and I have a haircut, I think my writing is getting better all the time. I wouldn’t swap with anyone.
8: This comes off as arrogance a lot of the time. Which, when combined with the muscle-memory of depression and questioning my every move that’s been with me since age 12, makes for some crazy moments every now and then. Toss in high expectations of myself and an overload of work, and occasionally I have some very weird breakdowns. But I usually give myself one or two days to be broken down, and then set out plans for recovery. So far, I have always recovered.
9: George Lopez just came on. Changed it!
10: I don’t feel comfortable unless I have a large-scale project to work on. Over the summer, I started OUTPUT Magazine, which fell through in a lot of ways, but has been filed away as a potential thing to do once I can bring money into the equation. Currently I’m working on rewiring a failed novel into a successful feature-length script, as well as a short film with my compatriot Ike Oden. I want something else to work on, too.
11: Greg and Satan ended because we thought it sucked. It had moments, but wasn’t funny enough to justify the production itself being that horrendous.
12: I bought Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World on Blu-Ray today. Listened to Edgar Wright and Bryan Lee O’Malley’s commentary. Holy shitting shit, Edgar Wright knows how to layer meanings and motifs. I want to hang out with that guy someday.
13: I can’t grow facial hair. I’ve tried, it just doesn’t work out well. This is my second greatest fault.
14: I have a list of what I’m looking for in a person. I haven’t shown it to people who ask to see it, but tumblr, me and you are friends.
Must know she’s worth something. Must like herself. Must be emotionally and physically affectionate. Must be ambitious. Must be sexually adventurous. Must be attractive. Must be mentally independent. Must be willing to fix problems.
Things that are nice but not necessary: Glasses Short hair Pink hair
I guess that makes me shallow? I don’t know. I know what I am looking for at least, which goes a long way as far as I’m concerned.
15: It says “she” in the above list, but that’s what I would look for in a guy, too (Pansexual is the term that gets used, I believe).
16: I was raised by women, so I know how to hold a grudge.
17: I don’t really hold any grudges.
18: For the past X years, I’ve dealt with identity issues and trying to did myself by being “Greg the Paladin”, which is more or less a character (but so is Greg L. Mercer). Greg the Paladin started in Diablo II, and was really fleshed out in my first D&D session in high school. Friend of mine long ago drew a picture of him, so he’s more or less been my internal problem-solving ethics unit since junior high.
19: I totally forgot that Astro also drew and colored and shaded and textured a picture of Greg the Paladin and Greg L. Mercer making out, naked. It’s…pretty interesting. You should see it sometime.
20: Been atheist since I was old enough to consider it. The religious doctrines don’t really stack up with anything scientific, and the burden of proof is on them, not me. I can’t disprove something, but I don’t have to; you’re the ones that have to prove it. That being said, you go ahead and shine on you crazy diamonds. Just let me do my thing.
21: I am currently 21. Had my first drink a few weeks ago, but turned 21 about 6 months ago. It was a gin and tonic. Since then I’ve become far, far more aware of the bad decisions people make while drunk. Have managed to not make any myself so far (haven’t been drunk).
22: I am looking forward to graduation. The current plan is to stay in Ohio until I can get my shit together, and then head out to either Chicago or Los Angeles to be a screenwriter or producer. Terrified and exhilarated just thinking about it.
23: Currently wanting materialistic things. A car. A bass guitar. A tattoo that reads “Paladin”, set in Orator. Fatty foods. Comic books.
24: My father is named Gregory Stephen Mercer. He wasn’t present for my birth because he was in prison for being in the wrong place at an incredibly wrong time and lying to the state about it. When I was born, my mom called him and asked what to name me. He said “Anything but Gregory”. This gives you a good idea of my mother, and my father.
25: I’ve worn glasses since the first day of the third grade, age 8. The first pair were large gold wireframes. I had a green turtleneck sweater from Eddie Bauer I loved wearing in fifth-sixth grade. In junior high, I had spiky hair that people would always want to place their palms against the top of. In high school I had really oily skin and acne problems. I was a pretty heavy kid until junior and senior year of high school. Senior year, I wore a brown jacket to school every day. Now, I mostly wear t-shirts and zip-up hoodies. I think I need a haircut, and wardrobe change, but I have no idea what I’ll change to.
26: Lori Liz Dasha Christy Jon Kait Ceci Liz again Meg Caiti. A comprehensive list, in order, of the people I have kissed.
27: I like sex, but more than that I like physical affection. I like laying in bed wrapped around a person under super warm blankets and only getting out of bed to answer the door because the pizza is here FINALLY.
28: I have a stable of characters I trot out in most stories: Molly, Sophie, Don, Lambe. I like writing women for some reason. They generally seem more logical than men when I write them, I guess.
29: I believe very strongly that humans are a transitory species meant to develop something better than ourselves, and then subsequently stop existing. This “meaning” isn’t anything from a higher power, it’s just what I believe to be the natural course of things. When man invented the wheel, he made his life easier, and made himself a little less useful. When we either create strong A.I. or we collectively coalesce into a single hive-consciousness, I hope it regards us as we regard the apes we evolved from.
30: I have some conflicting desires, in that I like being left alone very much, but also cherish and love giving affection. If people are around, I can’t work: if no one is around, I get emotionally uncentered. The solution, besides finding someone I love, is a cat. The Internet also helps for socializing.
31: Let me kind of clarify that last bit by telling you about something I recently realized; I love spending time with people, but it exhausts me. I need to be alone to really get back to being myself.
32: If you couldn’t tell by the wealth of relationship-based factoids, I like romance. I get teary at dumb love stories and love being romantic and love being in love. That being said, I don’t love being in love so much that I’m willing to put up with everything to stay that way.
33: I’m very concerned with my web presence. I made my first website, a Pokemon page on Expage, when I was in (fifth grade? Sixth grade?) elementary school. I watched Tech TV every instant I possibly could, and had http://slashdot.org as my homepage until digg.com came into being, and then changed from Digg to iGoogle once Digg stopped being tech-based. I had a podcast as early as 2003, on and off up until 2008. My online identity very much shaped me into the person I am. With that said, I can feel age and biology shaving neurons out of my head every day, and I get more and more terrified that I’m falling behind. Doing okay so far though.
34: My favorite food is pizza pies! (Giordanos in Chicago is the best damn pizza on the planet and I would pick that as my last meal without hesitation.)
35: Cherry Vanilla Dr Pepper was here, all other drinks are small time.
36: I drink my coffee black. I don’t care if you think it tastes bad; it’s a liquid with a job to do, and it does it better than anyone else.
37: My heroes are webcomic people like R Stevens or Aaron Diaz or Meredith Gran or Chris Onstad. Intimate knowledge of and interaction with their fans, self made, living off what they create. They’re the only artists I can think of that always seem genuinely happy.
38: I tried making a webcomic in 2002. It was made in MS Paint using sprites from Breath of Fire III. Hoo! That is embarrassing just to think about. That was also the year I started my first blog, “nerdblog” on Blogger. Ran until 2006, when I deleted it. Good run, for a blog.
39: I’m back home in Toledo, now. Had Marcos Pizza for dinner, got to see my pals Jason and Katy already, and things are wonderful with my family. Feels good man.
40: I used to subscribe to a ton of video game magazines. Then, for a long time, I only subscribed to Wired. Now, I don’t get Wired anymore; just Maxim, because it’s free.
41: It’s very hard to legitimately provoke me. I’m super slow to anger, which a lot of people tend to mistake for lack of interest, which is rarely the case as I tend to be fascinated by everything, always. It’s just that I am incapable of viewing things from a single angle, and as such it’s tough not to be objective and rational when it comes to things people get emotional about.
42: I DO get super emotional or angry or weepy like a bitch when reading stories or watching movies or playing video games. I’m kind of a pussy for good writing.
43: I prefer being cold to hot. I prefer cats to dogs. I prefer brunettes to redheads, and redheads to blondes, and short abnormal-color-dyed hair to the lot of them. I prefer indoors to outdoors, and technology and progress to nature and purity. I prefer knowledge to happiness. I prefer getting work done to spending time with people (within reason). I prefer cyberpunk to steampunk. I prefer rotted monsters to gorgeous ones. I prefer Warren Ellis to Neil Gaiman. I prefer glasses to no glasses. I prefer sci-fi/fantasy to horror. I prefer sprawling metropolises to beautiful landscapes. I prefer blue to any other color. I prefer robots to pretty much anything else.
These are things you will never change about me. But that’s okay because I usually don’t mind the alternative at all.
44: I signed up for OKCupid to meet a lady for romantic involvement. Sue me.
45: I love cooking, but find it to be worth doing usually only if I’m showing off in the process. Otherwise I won’t spend 30 minutes on a meal it’ll take me 10 minutes to eat while naked on the couch.
46: Whenever someone asks “What do you want to do?” I always respond “Fight crime.” I do this so often it irritates people (people who are incredibly indecisive about what to do).
I’ve never been taken seriously, but if someone offered to go patrol the streets with me, I’d do that shit in a heartbeat.
47: My greatest fault is that most of my senses are blunt and dull. My sight is obviously bad and can be corrected, but smell and taste are not sharp at all. I will never have a refined palate. The one exception is touch, which tends to be very sensitive for the most part.
48: This upsets me not because it’s a problem, but because it’s a problem I can’t fix. I don’t care about having problems, as many as I can get, whatever. I don’t mind because I will fix them. If you have a problem that you’re capable of fixing, and all you do is sit around and bitch about it? You will see me legitimately angry. After I offer a million ways to help and you shoot ALL of them down, that is. I have no sympathy for whiners.
49: I believe in the benefit of the doubt. I believe that instead of getting angry at a person who cut you off or pushed you or cut in line, you should assume they have a valid reason to do so. Always. I believe being positive is always the best course of action. I believe knowing is always, always better than not knowing, in any circumstance, no exceptions. I believe this one life is all we get. I believe we have done amazing things with what we have been given. I believe humanity collectively is a Good entity. I believe writing is the one act closest to being God. I believe taking in and telling a story can be more intimate than sex could ever be. I believe in fucking so hard someone draws blood and loves it. I believe in Sunday mornings where it’s raining. I believe in technology and progress proving that we matter. I believe in good always prevailing over bad, if people believe in it.
50: I have been playing Magic: the Gathering for more than a DECADE.
(Obviously this was made over the span of a few days. Thanks guys.)
Cross-posted from my tumblr, which is a lot more active these days.