Before I go to bed.

[nerdhawk]

so i have been hanging out with a guy for the past couple of weeks. like hanging out most days of the week, having great sex, etc. however, in true rachel style, i am waiting to be totally disappointed. i am half tempted to give up and just go back to being comfortable being alone with cats. we hung out all day yesterday and it was nice, however, when i brought up how i basically chose him over this other dude that was talking to me he said "but we're not dating." THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT when i told him that, but his comment made me feel awkward and a little bit sad. i hate dating. hate hate hate hate hate it. hate it. HATE IT.

i am so ready to give up. i don't want to get hurt again. i know that it's counter productive but still.