(no subject)
I'm super frustrated with karate stuff right now.
I was so close to black belt just a few monthes ago. Then Mark and I broke up, and I had all this shit on my plate to deal with - like worrying about how I'll stay in school, where to live, and not to mention the actual breakup shit. Karate definately slid to the backburner, and I didn't beat myself up over it too much, but now I've sorted the majority of that out and I'm ready to give 'er again.... except my technique has gone to absolute shit, I missed the grading I wanted to take, and every time I feel like training I have a goddamn paper to write.
UGH. It's so frustrating to be mentally there but not have the actual belt around my waist. I feel totally out of place as a brown belt. For God's sake, it's time I was a Shodan. I want it so badly that I train harder than I should in the dojo, and that's how I keep hurting my goddamn back. My brain remembers what it's like to have speed and technique all at once, but my body is clueless all of a sudden and it just won't. listen.
Stupid life getting in the way of my real priorities.
/rant
I was so close to black belt just a few monthes ago. Then Mark and I broke up, and I had all this shit on my plate to deal with - like worrying about how I'll stay in school, where to live, and not to mention the actual breakup shit. Karate definately slid to the backburner, and I didn't beat myself up over it too much, but now I've sorted the majority of that out and I'm ready to give 'er again.... except my technique has gone to absolute shit, I missed the grading I wanted to take, and every time I feel like training I have a goddamn paper to write.
UGH. It's so frustrating to be mentally there but not have the actual belt around my waist. I feel totally out of place as a brown belt. For God's sake, it's time I was a Shodan. I want it so badly that I train harder than I should in the dojo, and that's how I keep hurting my goddamn back. My brain remembers what it's like to have speed and technique all at once, but my body is clueless all of a sudden and it just won't. listen.
Stupid life getting in the way of my real priorities.
/rant