Mountain man and the art of loneliness
Hehe... I hadn't seen my parents in quite awhile because dad had been on sabbatical and they came up to visit this past weekend... he did a lot of hiking when he was gone and ate healthy and it shows- he lost quite a bit of weight- good kick in the ass for me I hope
He also grew a beard! In 23 years, he's never had facial hair (Mom's known him for 30ish and he's never had it)- and he got his hair cut short... I have to say, its a very updated good look on him- I really liked it :)
And, while he was gone, he did wood working and made me a gorgeous coffee table for my bday- its several different types of wood, including driftwood he got along the coast and using different grained/colored woods, made a scene that looks like a sun shining down over a mountain like path coming up to the sun- he said it was metaphorical for me right now- its amazing- I'll post a picture maybe soon...
I need to start up writing in a paper journal again methinks- I feel like all I ever write about in here is when I'm stressed/frustrated/upset with something... and because this is no longer serving the purpose it used to, going back to paper would be nice- its easier to browse through old things... and there's something cathartic/refreshing about seeing tear smudges on a page of writing...
I've been doing a lot of that lately- crying. I'm not completely miserable- just I don't know... feeling kinda empty and lonely. Was so nice seeing my parents this past weekend- I know the couple months isn't a real long time for seeing padres, but when you have noone else around, it seems that much longer. I have some amazing people here that I spend time with, but its always me and their husbands or fiancees... and I'm getting to a point where I can't do lunch with them during the school day anymore- it gets tiring hearing about their weddings and plans for having kids and everything all the time- that's all conversation ever is... Makes it that much more lonely I guess... my classmates/friends have people to go home to and spend time with outside of school and that's what their lives center around- and I don't begrudge them that happiness/excitement of the newness of married life/upcoming wedding... i just can't get away from it in any area of my life...
And maybe it bothers me because I know that when they're getting frustrated with school, they've got someone to just give them a hug or do something nice for them. If I'm lucky, I can get ahold of a parent on the phone for a few minutes... and that's it... its a much different type of loneliness from when i first moved here- not the living by myself loneliness- I dont' mind that so much anymore... its just, i dunno... lonely.. heh... there would have been the proverbial tear smudge on a page... :)
I need to find single female friends... or just hang out with friends/couples who can hold other conversations....
He also grew a beard! In 23 years, he's never had facial hair (Mom's known him for 30ish and he's never had it)- and he got his hair cut short... I have to say, its a very updated good look on him- I really liked it :)
And, while he was gone, he did wood working and made me a gorgeous coffee table for my bday- its several different types of wood, including driftwood he got along the coast and using different grained/colored woods, made a scene that looks like a sun shining down over a mountain like path coming up to the sun- he said it was metaphorical for me right now- its amazing- I'll post a picture maybe soon...
I need to start up writing in a paper journal again methinks- I feel like all I ever write about in here is when I'm stressed/frustrated/upset with something... and because this is no longer serving the purpose it used to, going back to paper would be nice- its easier to browse through old things... and there's something cathartic/refreshing about seeing tear smudges on a page of writing...
I've been doing a lot of that lately- crying. I'm not completely miserable- just I don't know... feeling kinda empty and lonely. Was so nice seeing my parents this past weekend- I know the couple months isn't a real long time for seeing padres, but when you have noone else around, it seems that much longer. I have some amazing people here that I spend time with, but its always me and their husbands or fiancees... and I'm getting to a point where I can't do lunch with them during the school day anymore- it gets tiring hearing about their weddings and plans for having kids and everything all the time- that's all conversation ever is... Makes it that much more lonely I guess... my classmates/friends have people to go home to and spend time with outside of school and that's what their lives center around- and I don't begrudge them that happiness/excitement of the newness of married life/upcoming wedding... i just can't get away from it in any area of my life...
And maybe it bothers me because I know that when they're getting frustrated with school, they've got someone to just give them a hug or do something nice for them. If I'm lucky, I can get ahold of a parent on the phone for a few minutes... and that's it... its a much different type of loneliness from when i first moved here- not the living by myself loneliness- I dont' mind that so much anymore... its just, i dunno... lonely.. heh... there would have been the proverbial tear smudge on a page... :)
I need to find single female friends... or just hang out with friends/couples who can hold other conversations....