Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 13 [3]
Every secret has a price…
Title: Phosphorescent Lights
Summary: A photographer with no memories whose goal in life is to seek out what he has lost; a businessman who swore revenge for the death of his lover while desperately trying to escape his fixated reality. Two entirely different men with entirely different lives bound together by the threads of destiny. But little do the two know that they are bounded together by more than just simple destiny…
Genre: Romance/Drama
Pairings: Akame (primary), Ryoda (secondary) mentions of Jinda, Pin, Ryopi, Kokame, Kamaki
Other Characters: Jin, Kame, Ueda, Yamashita, Ryo, Koki, slight appearances from Taguchi, Nakamaru, Shige, Ayase, Tegoshi
Content: Romance, drama, AU [Alternate Universe]
Author: Nerd-san
Disclaimer: I am not in any way affiliated with Johnny Entertainment
…are they willing to pay it?
Phosphorescent Lights: Chapter 13 [3]
Like a high school reunion, the two friends began to mindlessly chat away with each other. Quietly trying to make up for their inaccurately lost time, they talked and talked until Jin was sure he was going to need a glass of water himself.
They knew why they were there. They knew that the only thing connecting them at the moment was A. Jewelry, but they didn’t bring it up. There was no need to soil the light atmosphere the two had built.
But, like a meteor, it was sure to come crashing down. It was simply a matter of who had brought up the matter first. Jin was certain, and Ryo was also certain that it would be the general manager who would mention it. Surprisingly enough, it was not. Instead, it was Jin.
“How’s…um, how’s he doing?” It took a great deal of courage and enough saliva to swallow a lifetime’s worth of pride, but Jin had finally asked.
By no means did Jin actually like his step-father, but still he was the only living family member Jin had left. Being biologically related or not didn’t faze Jin most of the time seeing as the man was still a sort of father-figure to him. At least, in its own disgustingly twisted way.
Ryo, being Ryo, didn’t have to ask who Jin was referring to. “Parkinson’s disease,” he said, waiting for Jin to fill in the blanks on his own.
And Jin did, really slowly, but all he could manage was an overly-forced nod; bobbing it up and down as if it was made of lead. “He’s not going to…”
Ryo shook his head.
Once again, Ryo had a multitude of ideas on how Jin’s reaction to his dying step-father would be like. Some varied greatly from joy to regret but once again, his answer surprised Ryo. All Jin burbled was a small “oh”.
Where and when Jin had become so mellow remained a mystery to Ryo but he didn’t bring it up. He merely watched Jin’s stone-face wondering if offering condolences would be incorrect. “He needs you to succeed the company,” he said instead.
Jin shook his head defiantly. “You already know that’s impossible.” The rubbed the back of his hand across his inflamed nose, waiting for Ryo to make a rebuttal.
Ryo was being unusually meek and remained quiet, waiting for Jin to finish his statement before speaking. “Jin, your real father founded A. Jewelry - made it was it was. Kitagawa took that away. You can take it back. No - you have to take it back.”
Jin considered the option for minute. So long as his step-father was gone, that meant that he would be president - he could do as he pleased. “If I go back, can I bring Kame with me? He’s always wanted to visit Tokyo and he already knows that I’m the CEO of that p lace. My house is large anyways, he could live with me and-”
“Jin that’s not possible!” Ryo shouted abruptly, not being able to take his friend’s optimism any longer. He knew where this was heading. Because Jin’s life always ended up in the same way - utter disappointment.
“Why not?!” Jin growled, banging a fist against the table in his fury.
Ryo pulled his hand from the table and stared halfheartedly at the latter. “You’re engaged.”
“I know,” Jin could feel the phosphorescent earring on his earlobe; it shone its heavy cerulean color in the darkness of the bar, “to Kame.”
Ryo raised a brow in confusion. Had Jin not known? “You’re engaged to Horikita.”
Revolted, Jin stood to his weighty feet and looked down in antagonism. Ryo…weren’t he and Ryo getting along now? Ryo wasn’t the antagonist; not in Jin’s book anymore. But still, he was saying things as farfetched as being engaged to Horikita. “W-What the hell are you talking about?!”
Ryo flinched at the uneasy tone and bit his lower lip. “You said Ueda told you everything!” He shot back in his defense.
“Well, he sure as hell didn’t tell me that!” Jin growled, seating himself.
A waiter mistook the motion for service, and waddled his way over. Ryo politely declined his offer for alcohol and Jin simply shot him an enraged stare. The waiter left.
When all other ears were a safe distance away, Jin asked, “What are you, crazy?” Ryo’s face seemed emotionless as he listened. “I’m not marrying Horikita. We’ve only been on a blind date or two. That’s it.”
“Well, she’s certainly very fond of you, Jin.”
“Good for her.”
“And good for A. Jewelry too. Stocks are falling what with the president’s hospitalization and the CEO’s disappearance!” There was only so much Ryo could take before he had boiled over.
If he were a pot then Jin was a stove, slowly, very slowly, setting his temper ablaze with his unusually mellow nature and calm tactics - a person who Ryo hadn’t known.
If a watched pot never boiled, then someone must have forgotten to even spare Ryo a glimpse as he felt himself exploding. Days, weeks, a month of working at A. Jewelry with a sick president and missing CEO did not come easy for third in command.
“Do you know how much the people there are suffering right now that even their general manager has disappeared?!” He voiced loudly, hoping that in someway his words were getting through to the heir of A. Jewelry. “It’s chaos, Jin, complete and utter chaos.”
Jin snorted a little in disbelief. It was as if his life was a freak show that someone somewhere was enjoying. He leaned evenly against his chair, placing one foot atop the other. “Stocks are falling.” he stuck out a finger.
“My step-dad’s dying.” he placed the second finger next to the first. “I’m engaged to two different people.” Three fingers and Jin almost laughed. “Please tell me you’re kidding, Ryo.”
At Ryo’s silence Jin felt tears prickling his eyes. “I’m not marrying her!” He spat angrily at Ryo but it was as if he was convincing himself above all else.
“I’m never going to marry her! I’m marrying Kame and we’re going to live together, taking pictures together! I’m going to quit working at A. Jewelry and become a photographer!”
“Jin, stop spouting nonsense! You’re a businessman not a photographer!” Ryo couldn’t believe what he was hearing but somehow he could. The Jin who was this defiant - just who was he?
Jin, his friend Jin, had always been a little rebellious by refusing to walk the path that had always been paved for him. But this was to an entirely new level. This Jin…just who was he?
“You’re not marrying Kamenashi-san.” Ryo said.
“Why not?”
“It’s not legal.”
“So?”
Ryo shut his eyes and made a small grunting sound of disapproval. “Jin you’re powerful but not that powerful! Please…just think about all this for a second - rationally.”
More silence. Ryo played with the cup in his hands, placing the glass between his hands and passing it back and forth between the two. Jin watched and quietly began to join in. Ryo passed him the empty cup and out of sheer boredom, Jin passed it back. Give and take.
“Ryo, do you have ulterior motives? Telling me not to see Kamenashi, to not get close to him, to hate him…why? Why do I have to do that?” Jin asked softly, taking hold of the glass and playing around with it for a bit before sending it back.
Ignoring his question, Ryo asked “will you come back?”
“You’re avoiding the question!” Jin accused.
“Are you coming back?!”
“Not without Kame!”
Ryo placed a hand over the top of is forehead. He was beginning to feel the heat of the argument physically as he felt an angry headache coming on. “Jin! You and Kamenashi-san can’t live happily ever after. It’s impossible!”
“I’ll make it possible!” Ryo had a hard time believing Jin would say such a thing for Ueda or perhaps Yamashita. The way Jin protected people was usually like Ryo - quietly and to himself.
The way the man in front of him was planning on protecting Kamenashi was loudly, irritably and by force. What had Kamenashi done to Jin? A love that could reach unreachable points? Was that not impossible?
“I said think rationally, damn it. Tell me, how do you even plan to host a wedding?! It’s not legal, Jin. Not legal.” Ryo informed him directly, taking the glass and staring at it for a good minute before giving it back to Jin.
Jin took it and held it in place. For a minute or two he said nothing, seriously contemplating about what had just been said. When he had, more or less, ‘forced’ the willing Kame to marry him, he had never once thought of the possibility of not being able to go through with the plan.
And impulsive love - that was exactly what they had.
He smiled wearily, flicking the sides of the empty cup to emit a small noise. “Is…is our love illegal too? You can’t tell me that you’ve never loved someone to the point you’re willing to reach remote distances for them, Ryo.”
Ryo thought of Yamashita. Then Ueda came to mind. Would he do something like this for them? Of course, without a doubt in mind he would.
But Kamenashi was neither Yamashita nor Ueda. In the end, the man was at a loss for words. “I…I…”
“Loved Pi?” Jin finished for him, head rested against his palm as he grinned at the latter.
“How did you?!”
Despite the tense atmosphere the two created, Jin laughed a little. “Tatsuya.”
“That fairy…”
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“And what? Have you hate me even more? There’s only so much a person can take, Jin. In case you’re forgetting, I’m human too.” Ryo sighed, “You wanted to know…about Kamenashi-san?”
He reached into the bag on the floor and slowly dug out something that Jin simply couldn’t picture. It was rather small but shady and in the darkness of the pub, practically invisible.
But Jin saw the outline of the article while Ryo pushed the object towards him. Give and take again, only this time - Jin did not want to receive.
Too many things ran through Jin’s mind to properly function. His initial reaction was shock to the point wherein he jumped from his seat in fret and harshly felt the floor beneath him.
He’d seen them in TV shows, in magazines and especially in the movies. Seeing one in reality was an entirely new experience altogether and knowing that it was in Ryo’s possession was another brick added to the heavy load his conscious was taking on.
“W…What’s the meaning of this?” It took all the self-restraint Jin had left to steady himself enough to sit back in front of Ryo.
For some reason a new wave of fear of Ryo washed his insides. Jin refused to look at the gun on the table, much less touch it. He felt his heart thumping away against his ribcage in anguish and couldn’t help but to give Ryo a look that was caught between a dying deer and drowning cat.
Ryo pressed the gun towards Jin, who instantly backed off. “Shoot Kamenashi-san,” he said.
Jin’s breathing picked up speed. He couldn’t even reply to the demand. He stood there gaping mindlessly and tightening the grip he hadn’t even noticed he had on his shirt.
Ryo didn’t take back the gun but instead prodded it upon Jin. “You can’t do it.” He stated as-a-matter-of-factly. “I knew it.”
“What the fuck is the meaning of this?!”
“If you can’t do this Jin, I don’t think you’re ready to hear what I have to say.”
Jin shook his head in skepticism. “…I-I don’t get you.” His voice broke mid-sentence but Ryo didn’t bring it up.
Despite what people might have thought of their CEO, he was a rather sensitive person. Ryo could already see the tears the man was trying to so desperately hide.
Ryo only further pushed the revolver towards Jin, taking advantage of the fact that he knew Jin wouldn’t touch the weapon. “What if I asked you to shoot the son of the drunk driver who killed Pi?” He asked. “Would your answer differ then?”
“Of course!” Jin didn’t waste a second in answering. “I…we…we swore on Pi’s grave. We’d get revenge.” Because they did. And a promise was something that a person did not break. At least not Jin. Ryo seemed to think so as well, nodding at Jin’s answer.
“And our goal is to kill that man?”
“Yes.”
“So you would kill that man?”
Without as much a second thought, Jin nodded. “Yes.”
“But you wouldn’t kill Kamenashi-san?”
“Never.”
“You’re contradicting yourself, Jin.” Ryo threw the crumpled file from the bag towards Jin. Jin took it hesitantly and poked a finger inside before unearthing a few white sheets.
Jin felt disgusted looking through the first few sheets - Kame’s picture, martial status, blood type all down to his favorites. His occupation, his friends, his manager, associates…everything.
How Ryo had managed to gather such information surprised even Jin, but he couldn’t bring himself up to ask. Instead, he shrugged off the feeling and continued through the papers. “What are you trying to say, Ryo?”
“Honestly…you haven’t realized it yet, Jin?”
Jin refused to acknowledge was Ryo was saying and instead turned his full attention to the papers.
“Why do you think I don’t want you to live a happy life? I do - I really do. But you can’t. Not with Kamenashi. I told he was dangerous, right? I didn’t mean it physically. I mean that being with Kamenashi is dangerous because you were eventually going to find out.”
Jin continued through the papers. Information on Kame’s parents. Fretfully, Jin flipped through without as much as a destination. For a second, perhaps more, perhaps not quite as much, Jin’s heart stopped.
His life goals, his dreams, his ambitions were all written on the piece of paper. And Ryo had known of it all along. Jin shook his head. There was no way. No fucking way.
Ryo, upon seeing Jin’s stunned, crestfallen face, sighed. He took the papers back from Jin, which wasn’t hard seeing as they were on the brink of falling from his hands to begin with.
He threw the sheets back into the file folder and stuffed them back in his briefcase.
He had figured Jin had known now, but Ryo felt the need to further explain. “The man you live with…Kamenashi Kazuya-san, he’s the son of-”
“No.” Jin didn’t know why but he was smiling; shock to the point wherein he retreated in his cocoon of false-hope.
He laughed louder at the absurdity of it all and placed his hands on the table, unconsciously brushing against the night-black revolver.
He shook his head again, his chuckles turning hallow. “No…” His grin faltered and Ryo could do nothing but watch as his friend psychologically tore himself apart. “No.”
Jin laughed now, high-pitched and fake and Ryo simply sat where he was, gaze lowered. It was coming. It was coming by a long shot.
Enormous amounts of laughter turned into collective sobs as Jin continued in his world of make-belief. In ‘His World’, he and Kame were destined for each other unlike in the ‘Real World’.
Perhaps he could take Kame with him to ‘His World’ and they could run away. But still, that meant that Kame would be there. Kame, the person he had wanted to kill. Kame, the person he had wanted to marry.
“No!” Jin hollered while his brain remained intolerant to the fact. “I’m not going to believe you!”
He took the gun and threw it across the floor so that it landed near Ryo’s dress shoes. “No!” He wasn’t going to kill Kame. “NO!”
“Jin, listen to me!” Ryo blurted, bending down to pick up the object. “I told you not to get close to him! I told you he was dangerous! You didn’t listen to me! You didn’t listen! If you don’t kill him, I swear I will!” He took the weapon and placed it in his pocket.
“His mother committed suicide.” Tired of shouting, Ryo sat back down. Jin followed his example and sat as well, even though his face remained laced with salty water.
“The suicide caused his father to carry that burden alone. So he moved to Okinawa with Kamenashi-san; he still worked in Tokyo though, so because of that Kamenashi-san was sent to a boarding school.”
“Five years later, he couldn’t do it anymore. Kitagawa hired him…to try and kill you. He thought this’d rid him or his debts and if not, then he’d be dead. He wouldn’t have to live to suffer the consequences. But Kamenashi-san would.”
“So, as a last part of their agreement, Kamenashi-san was to be sold to A. Jewelry if the money his dad made as a hitman wasn’t enough.” Ryo finished the story and Jin felt his head was much heavier than he last remembered.
Choking on unshed sobs, Jin placed his head against the table. Too much, he closed his eyes in anguish, this is too much to handle.
In a way, he could finally empathize with Kame about wanting to forget everything. If Jin had the same ability as Kame, right now he wished to forget everything.
He had almost fooled himself into thinking he could, too. Opening his eyes he wished to not know of anything. He looked at Ryo who was still sitting where he was. Why couldn’t he forget?
“Kitagawa’s dying and you’re going to be the sole owner of A. Jewelry, Jin.” Ryo made a sour face as he glanced down at his bulging pocket. “This means that he’s your property. You can do away with him and no one will-”
“No…” Jin’s head felt dizzy now, “…are you retarded? Telling me…about Kame…that Kame’s dad killed Pi? Are you fucking retarded?! Why am I going to believe you?!”
Ryo stood again, only this time it was not out of anger but instead because he was ready to part. Before heading off, he took the weapon from his pocket and threw it at the disoriented Jin. Jin, although a little clumsily, caught it.
“What goes up must come down.” Ryo said over his shoulder as he began to walk away. “That time together Jin…it’s over now. You need to come back. I’m not going to force you but I just want you to remember that blood’s thicker than water. You’re an Akanishi and you can never change that.”
Instinctively, Jin stood up and wandered off behind Ryo. In his perplexed stumble out of the tavern he brushed shoulders with another man but refused to let that stop him from proceeding after Ryo.
“Akanishi?” The man in the hat who had just been carelessly brushed aside looked at Jin’s retreating figure.
Koki was about to call him back and ask how Kame was doing but all fell hopeless once he saw the gun in the deranged man’s hands. Out of shock and human curiosity, Koki threw the waiter a few yen before running out after Jin.
It wasn’t hard finding the man, either, seeing as he didn’t seem to get very far. He stood beside another man that Koki could not name but had recognized their face from some sort of business magazine he had gone through before.
A high-recognized worker of A. Jewelry, he remembered with malice. Koki frowned. And Jin knew this person? He watched the small scene take place before his eyes - the two men talking feverishly, or rather, it was just the other man doing the talking whilst Jin stood and said nothing.
“Jin?” Light footsteps echoed in the darker parts of Itoman and looking up, Koki saw Kame. He looked rather beat and tired, but nonetheless his face lit up at the sight of his boyfriend.
It wasn’t hard distinguishing the two in the cloaking of the night, really. Their earrings shone brightly - the stubs were the small shred of light that was casted upon the sinister night.
“Jin!” Kame grumped as he neared Jin, standing a good foot away while he laughed. “Ha-ha, I knew I’d find you here! Geez, if you wanted to get a late night drink you could have woken me up!”
He grinned despite the darker intentions that lay hidden. He had barely any time to even register the figure beside Jin or the one observing everything from the front of the bar.
Too captured by the rush of the moment, by the rush of Jin’s presence, Kame ignored all else.
“I sent in my picture and they accepted it as finalist! I was so excited to hear the news! Your picture is a finalist too, Jin! I can’t wait to see the results, either! I can’t believe you didn’t even check yet! Always so irresponsible!”
Kame laughed a little at the absurdity of it all. “I wanted to tell you earlier but you weren’t-” Taken aback by the fact that Ryo was standing with Jin, Kame stopped talking.
Ryo didn’t, however, and made a grab for Jin’s hand, holding up the revolver. The gun practically glowed under the street lights that seemed to be laughing at their stupidity.
“This is the perfect opportunity! Kill him!” Ryo grunted, trying to balance the gun in Jin’s hands, far too caught up in his frenzy of anger to care for much else.
Kame saw the weapon and instantly, like a bucket of cold water splashing across his face, woke up to his senses. “N-Nishikido-san?” He blurted, pacing back a few steps until he was backed up against an alley wall.
“Or can’t you?” Ryo taunted as Jin’s hand slung upwards. “Knowing that this is the man you’ve been after for four years now…you can’t do it, can you?”
Jin watched Kame’s facial expression. Disbelief, hurt, betrayal, confusion, bewilderment. Kame opened his mouth to say something, anything.
But in the end, what came out were nothing more than broken words. “I’m not…I’m not…” what did I do to warrant Jin’s anger?
Unable to have his mind process the bigger picture, Kame closed his eyes. He didn’t want to see this. He didn’t want to see His Jin turning into one of the other multitudes of Jin.
He didn’t want to think that Jin really was the bloodthirsty businessman that was only after revenge. That wasn’t His Jin. That was someone else.
“What would Pi say?!” Ryo felt fat gobs of tears blurting from his eyes as he let go of Jin. “His dad was after you, Jin! If he hadn’t been as drunk as he was - you wouldn’t be here instead! His dad tried to kill you, Jin. It’s only…it’s only fair.”
Jin stood motionless. He felt the revolver in his hands. He saw Kame’s terrified face as he shut his eyes together and backed himself up further against the wall.
His mind was working far too fast to comprehend anything. Jin wanted revenge. It was the reason he lived. He lived for this. He lived for this moment.
But ever since coming to Okinawa he lived for Kame, the very soul he was meant to do away with.
Jin couldn’t process anything. He felt his hand creeping up as he held out the gun. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore; killing ‘the son of that drunk driver’ was his goal, not killing ‘Kame’.
“What’re you waiting for?! Kill him!” Ryo shouted, angry at Jin’s hesitance.
Koki, unable to remain quiet any longer, finally snapped out of his shock and ran towards the shaking Kame. “H-Hey! You! What the hell do you think you’re doing?!” He shouted over at Jin and then at Ryo.
Kame could feel himself crying, but at the same time he felt nothing. Nothing at all. He shut his eyes even tighter and waited. He waited for what he wasn’t even sure of anymore.
“Kill him, damn it, Jin!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?!” Out of instinct, Koki grabbed onto Kame and pushed the younger man behind him and out of Jin’s range.
“You fucking liar!” He seethed at Jin who didn’t seem to be listening to anything anymore. “You told me you knew shit about jewelry! Akanishi Jin?! As in Akanishi Jin of A. Jewelry?!”
Koki could feel the trembling figure behind him. It was not a good sign. “God damn it put that thing down!” He yelled back at Jin, who was too distraught to even comprehend what effect the entire ordeal was having on the younger man.
“…I’m sorry. I’m sorry…I don’t know what I did.” Koki heard Kame’s quiet mumbles from where he was. His eyes were stricken with a fear so unlike any Koki had ever seen. “Oh god…Jin hates me. He hates me.”
Kame could feel himself becoming rather lightheaded. He didn’t understand what was going on, but he understood one thing. Jin, His Jin, hated him. His Jin was disappearing. His mind began to recall previous conversations before shutting itself off.
“Everything is their fault!”
“If it wasn’t for their father, then Pi would still be alive!”
“I hate them, Kame!”
“I hate them so much that just thinking about them disgusts me!”
“Their father killed Pi because my god damn step-father paid the man to. How desperate can you be for money?!”
“I hate them!”
Was Kame who Jin hated? There couldn’t have been any other explanation. Nishikido hated him too. Had his father killed Jin’s first love? Kame didn’t know - how could he? He couldn’t remember.
And at that moment there was nothing more Kame had wanted than his memories. If they would make Jin happy - then he wanted them back. All of them.
He watched Jin’s flabbergasted face, mixed in with raw confusion and hatred. He watched Ryo’s hands falling to his side before lifting themselves back up to wipe away any remaining tears. Was all this his fault? Jin certainly seemed to think so.
“No, no, NO!” It hurt again, his head.
Kame clutched onto his searing cranium and couldn’t help but to crouch onto the floor in an irate pain.
He heard various screams but he couldn’t be certain if they were simply in his head, or perhaps from the worried by-standers around him.
Or perhaps it had been himself - Kame couldn’t be too sure. His thoughts were too muddled to clear or sort. There was a shot; at least, Kame was sure there was. But he couldn’t see anything anymore.
His feet had caved under the pressure and he fell onto something or someone rather comfortable before he felt himself slipping into the dark oblivion again. There was a voice too, screaming for him.
It sounded a lot like Jin’s. But it couldn’t be Jin’s, could it? “I need you”, or was it an “I want you” - Kame wasn’t sure. He closed his eyes to rid himself of any horrid images. Utopia. He needed to go to his utopia.
How many memories have we painted together since that time we fell in love? But you’re going away now. I can’t find the words to say goodbye, so I stopped my memories.
I trembled in the blowing wind. You are the wind, after all. And I’m the water. In a world that is so unlike our own, we met.
Finally, there was a place wind and water could connect. But it’s gone now, right? Wind and water. It was a combination that was never meant to be.