back again ...
Well I'm back... obviously ... And i can tell you it sucks!
Even thought it is really good to have my cat back whom i missed terribly, the rest kinda sucks.
The transition from Wasington to rural Bavaria makes me want to cry.
Again.
If there has ever been a chance of me spending my life living in Germany than it is now gone.
Totally and utterly. I would rather die than spend the rest of my life here.
My father always says that i have a too positive few of the States.
Maybe there is a bit to that but not as much as he thinks.
I am fully aware that the States are not all shine, that it will be difficulte and that the country has it's dark sides.
But what country doesn't?
Germany certainly has enough of them.
But i belive when you really want to life in another country, i mean if you really want it than it will be perfect for you. Because it is your dream. And then you accept the other not so pretty sides a lot easier and you live with them.
It's after all the same thing with him.
He came to Germany from Austria when he was a boy and he doesn't see anything wrong with Germany because it is his dream, his home. His place.
When i sat on the mall, looking at the capitol on one side and the Washington monument on my other side, listening to some music, it suddenly struck me.
This is it.
This is my place, my home.
The place where i can actually breath.
The place where the void and the pain that are always with me because of what happend in the past could maybe dissapear.
The fact that I'm in a really dumb job right now to earn some money before univesity, does not really help my joy of beeing back.
To top it all of i got a letter from the study office saying that i did not get a accepted at the university.
Wonderful.
How fucked up is that?
There is a small chance that i can still study pharmacy, but as i said... it is pretty small.
So it will be a year of chemestry most likely and maybe pharmacy next year.
Man does that suck... i wanna go back ...
Even thought it is really good to have my cat back whom i missed terribly, the rest kinda sucks.
The transition from Wasington to rural Bavaria makes me want to cry.
Again.
If there has ever been a chance of me spending my life living in Germany than it is now gone.
Totally and utterly. I would rather die than spend the rest of my life here.
My father always says that i have a too positive few of the States.
Maybe there is a bit to that but not as much as he thinks.
I am fully aware that the States are not all shine, that it will be difficulte and that the country has it's dark sides.
But what country doesn't?
Germany certainly has enough of them.
But i belive when you really want to life in another country, i mean if you really want it than it will be perfect for you. Because it is your dream. And then you accept the other not so pretty sides a lot easier and you live with them.
It's after all the same thing with him.
He came to Germany from Austria when he was a boy and he doesn't see anything wrong with Germany because it is his dream, his home. His place.
When i sat on the mall, looking at the capitol on one side and the Washington monument on my other side, listening to some music, it suddenly struck me.
This is it.
This is my place, my home.
The place where i can actually breath.
The place where the void and the pain that are always with me because of what happend in the past could maybe dissapear.
The fact that I'm in a really dumb job right now to earn some money before univesity, does not really help my joy of beeing back.
To top it all of i got a letter from the study office saying that i did not get a accepted at the university.
Wonderful.
How fucked up is that?
There is a small chance that i can still study pharmacy, but as i said... it is pretty small.
So it will be a year of chemestry most likely and maybe pharmacy next year.
Man does that suck... i wanna go back ...