Apr 05, 2005 14:55
well what can i say....i'm writing a story so far i just have an intro,
but the intro is work in progress. so here's the intro, tell my you
guys think, i would love to here the positive or negative feedback.
“Once a upon a time there was light
in my life, now there is only love in the dark. Once a upon a time I
knew what love was, I no longer know what it is. I only tear myself
apart when I think about. I don’t know what to do, I’m always in the
dark. I stand there alone, crying in the darkness. In this
darkness, the rain fall, never stopping. It will go on forever and my
tears shall a company the rain. I speak to myself in the darkness, I
ask myself, “What do I want out?” I don’t know, I don’t know what I
want anymore. I get so confused, there are times I want to die, but I’m
not sure if that is what I want. There are time I want something so
bad, but I don’t know if I really want them. I guess I’ll never know.
I’ll just end up walking in this darkness, nothing to walk with me, not
even my shadow. Don’t know where to go, don’t know what to do, don’t
know what I want. Sometimes I wish someone will find me in this
darkness and walk with me. Lead me to the light, lead me to what I
really want.
I want you. Just thinking about you
drives me insane. It tears me apart, knowing that you and I will never
be. I lay in bed trying to sleep, but I miss the warmth from your body
that kept me warm. There are nights that I have to cry myself to sleep,
that’s the only way I can sleep. I need you, I want to be with
you forever. I want to stand on the mountain with you, I want bathe
with you in the sea, I want to lay like this forever. Just recognize
the love that I have for you and the feeling I have. But you will never
know, why? Because I haven’t told you how I feel about you and that I
love you. I’m afraid that you will reject me, I don’t want to be
rejected. I want to be held and love by you. So, you’ll never know.
What a coward I am. I need to have strength, I need to be strong, but
that is hard for me to do. I will never measure up to what you want or
what you crave in the really world.
I just need to forget about, you need
to perish out of my memory. I want you to leave, I wish I have never
meant you. I’m tired of tearing myself apart over you, when I know that
it’ll never be. I really do love you and have serene feeling for you. I
thought you should know before I perished. Me perish? Yes me perish,
there is no way I can forget about you. Only in Death I will forget
about, I hope. If I don’t then I’ll be in a hell that exist only for
me, tormented by my negative feelings I have for you. There I will stay
for all eternity. I am sorry for what I did to myself, it was the only
way I could think ending this pain I have. I’m so sorry, but I must bid
you farewell and I wish that you and I could have been together.”
but yeah, like i said it's work-in-progress.
lets see, well i had tons of fun last night. after i got out of my
classes, my friend will called my, he wanted to know if i could hang
out with him and go to dinner, i said yes of course. so we go have
dinner at applebees's, it was alright, i wasn't really that hungry so i
just had a cheeseburger with an ice tea. after dinner we went to the
mall to play some DDR, it was fun. the first game was really crappy
though because i haven't played in awhile, but after a couple games i
was awesome, or i thought so. then will and i ventured off to his house
to watch a movie called i love hucklebee, it was pretty good i like it,
then after the movie it was about ten o'clock. so we decided to watch
some anime, and will has a great selection, so we both decided on
vampire hunter d: bloodlust, it was awesome even though i seen it like
50 times. after that was over we got kinda bored (here comes the fun
part), so the we foreplayed with each other. it was quite fun. it
was our first time doing this. so it was new to will but i read a lot
of yaoi fanficts so i had an idea of what to do, and will asked me if
over and over if i had ever foreplayed before, i said no. i think i
knew what to do cause of the fanficts, but i got all of his sensative
parts, it was so much fun, and when he did it to me it was so.... i
can't find the word to describe it but it was fun, then we decided if
we wanted to got further, as in sex but we didn't, we had enough fun
with foreplay. but yeah that was my awesome night.
and for today it's going pretty good. will and i might go out tonight
but, i need to do homework so i might pass, but i might change my mind
cause u had a blast last night, but i dunno, we'll see when the time
comes, in any case i should get back to my homework. so i guess
this is were i go. so later everyone and take care.