Why your business will fail.
Hello new business owner, congradulations on purchasing this long-established company that has been around for a long time. I'm sure you're eager to get started. Luckily for you, you have a competent staff to keep things running smoothly already in place from the previous owner.
Well, one person.
You will still have Miss Reliable standing by you. Every company has one. She's been here longer than you, the current owner, which she will tell you about five time per day, and this is her business. That person with their name on the deed isn't the real owner. She's the real owner, and don't you forget it. And she won't let you forget it. She is the most valuable person here, which she will tell you about ten times per day. The entire place would collapse without her to keep everything running, which she will tell you about fifteen times per day. She's right, too. They would fall apart without her being there all the time. Because she's always fixing issues.
Issues that she, herself causes. Constantly. Non-stop. Deliberate acts of sabotage that she, herself, inflicts so that she can put on her hand-made superhero cape and sweep in to fix them, thus proving how utterly invaluable she is. Since you're not there to watch her every move she will gleefully pin those acts of sabotage on her coworkers, starting with the most competent, in order to get them removed. Every other person that you get rid of only reinforces your perception (illusion) of her incredible value. She's quick & savvy enough to spot anyone who might actually find real, permanent solutions to the problems that she band-aids over on a daily basis and targets them for termination ASAP. She is not particularly persuasaive, however, as simply bullying is far more effective - and I don't just mean her coworkers. She'll bully the owners, too. She'll threaten to leave, all the time, which is funny because in reality she's more persistant than cancer - which is the perfect analogy for her, because as time goes on her influence just keeps increasing and that influence is completely toxic to the overall health of the business.
Why do all this? Job security, of course. She's been here forever, she doesn't know anything else and if she ever started over someplace new they might realize just how poisonous of a person she really is. This isn't her workplace, it's her nest. Her lair. Don't mind the bones scattered in front. Oh she'll keep it running, all right... barely. Keeping everything alive on life-support is essential because she's the life-support. Just pay no heed to the carbon monoxide that she's pumping into the air hose to keep that comatose state going. The last thing she wants is for your business to become healthy. Stable. Able to survive without her constant presence. Because then you might not need her. You might get tired of her endless whining & self-aggrandizing claims. You might just (gasp) fire her. She'll fight you, dammit. A constant fight against real solutions, real fixes and real answers to your problems. A fight against your success as a business because her job, her place, her glorious unofficial status as the Queen Bee here is more important than whether or not you actually make a profit, because you - the business owner - can be replaced. She can't be, and don't you forget it.
Of course, and this is the entire point of this rant, is that firing her is what you should have done the very day you bought this place. But you didn't, and so now you're stuck with her. She'll outlast you, just like she outlasted the previous owner and whoever comes after you. Eventually the place might go under completely, and she'll go on the dole for a bit until someone else comes along and reopens it. Then she'll be back, because she never truly goes away. She only goes into remission. Competent people will come and quickly go. Owners will come and go. She'll always be there, because she always has been there, and you're too scared to get rid of her. Either she's bambozzled you into thinking you really do need her or she's intimidated you outright into not coming into the place anymore.
The funny thing is that she is just another manifestation of one of the oldest tricks of economics ever created: Creating a problem and then selling the solution. A scam that has existed as long as money itself. Whether you're a government agency who's yearly budget depends on solving a problem that somehow never gets solved or a company that makes antivirus software with a room full of hackers writing new computer viruses to unleash onto the world, she is just a tiny drop in an endless sea of husslers. Of course that sea is made of pure acid and this particular drop is burning a hole in your wallet, but what can you do? I mean, it's not like you're going to do the one thing that would actually end this entropy loop. Heaven forbid, and moreso, she forbids. She doesn't work for you, you work for her. Now hurry up and fire that competent person over there so that you can afford to give her another raise. Snap to it, bitch.
Well, one person.
You will still have Miss Reliable standing by you. Every company has one. She's been here longer than you, the current owner, which she will tell you about five time per day, and this is her business. That person with their name on the deed isn't the real owner. She's the real owner, and don't you forget it. And she won't let you forget it. She is the most valuable person here, which she will tell you about ten times per day. The entire place would collapse without her to keep everything running, which she will tell you about fifteen times per day. She's right, too. They would fall apart without her being there all the time. Because she's always fixing issues.
Issues that she, herself causes. Constantly. Non-stop. Deliberate acts of sabotage that she, herself, inflicts so that she can put on her hand-made superhero cape and sweep in to fix them, thus proving how utterly invaluable she is. Since you're not there to watch her every move she will gleefully pin those acts of sabotage on her coworkers, starting with the most competent, in order to get them removed. Every other person that you get rid of only reinforces your perception (illusion) of her incredible value. She's quick & savvy enough to spot anyone who might actually find real, permanent solutions to the problems that she band-aids over on a daily basis and targets them for termination ASAP. She is not particularly persuasaive, however, as simply bullying is far more effective - and I don't just mean her coworkers. She'll bully the owners, too. She'll threaten to leave, all the time, which is funny because in reality she's more persistant than cancer - which is the perfect analogy for her, because as time goes on her influence just keeps increasing and that influence is completely toxic to the overall health of the business.
Why do all this? Job security, of course. She's been here forever, she doesn't know anything else and if she ever started over someplace new they might realize just how poisonous of a person she really is. This isn't her workplace, it's her nest. Her lair. Don't mind the bones scattered in front. Oh she'll keep it running, all right... barely. Keeping everything alive on life-support is essential because she's the life-support. Just pay no heed to the carbon monoxide that she's pumping into the air hose to keep that comatose state going. The last thing she wants is for your business to become healthy. Stable. Able to survive without her constant presence. Because then you might not need her. You might get tired of her endless whining & self-aggrandizing claims. You might just (gasp) fire her. She'll fight you, dammit. A constant fight against real solutions, real fixes and real answers to your problems. A fight against your success as a business because her job, her place, her glorious unofficial status as the Queen Bee here is more important than whether or not you actually make a profit, because you - the business owner - can be replaced. She can't be, and don't you forget it.
Of course, and this is the entire point of this rant, is that firing her is what you should have done the very day you bought this place. But you didn't, and so now you're stuck with her. She'll outlast you, just like she outlasted the previous owner and whoever comes after you. Eventually the place might go under completely, and she'll go on the dole for a bit until someone else comes along and reopens it. Then she'll be back, because she never truly goes away. She only goes into remission. Competent people will come and quickly go. Owners will come and go. She'll always be there, because she always has been there, and you're too scared to get rid of her. Either she's bambozzled you into thinking you really do need her or she's intimidated you outright into not coming into the place anymore.
The funny thing is that she is just another manifestation of one of the oldest tricks of economics ever created: Creating a problem and then selling the solution. A scam that has existed as long as money itself. Whether you're a government agency who's yearly budget depends on solving a problem that somehow never gets solved or a company that makes antivirus software with a room full of hackers writing new computer viruses to unleash onto the world, she is just a tiny drop in an endless sea of husslers. Of course that sea is made of pure acid and this particular drop is burning a hole in your wallet, but what can you do? I mean, it's not like you're going to do the one thing that would actually end this entropy loop. Heaven forbid, and moreso, she forbids. She doesn't work for you, you work for her. Now hurry up and fire that competent person over there so that you can afford to give her another raise. Snap to it, bitch.