With you, I've been set free. (RP COLLAB- Nezumitoo/Nepherim)
Argh. DOA Get's my Goat sometimes. Leave your Comments here. :D
Kessari looked around himself at the beauty. This place, this park, was breathtaking. Flowers, birds, and bees, all heedless of the pain he was in. It hurt so much to see all the beauty here, when he felt nothing but emptiness inside. Kivara hated him, wanted him dead, most likely, and Kessari couldn't see how things would improve. He lowered his head in sorrow. This park had been here before him, so had his brother. This park wouldn't be affected if he left, neither would Kivara. He couldn't see the point in staying. Nothing was enough to keep him here anymore, on this wretched world, in this wretched body. He head dropped as his hands covered his face, and he gave a small tremble, trying to hold in tears that were overdue by two years.
Fanuel couldn't stand it... it was killing him to know that his brother was with Jenova. After everything that happened, Fuan still forsake his own flesh and blood for that of a demon... when he surfaced this time, he felt like he'd explode if he didn't get out so he left, hoping the air would clear his head. How he ended up in the park, he didn't know, he had just been walking, lost in thought, lost in his memories. He looked up, the sun shone down.. a cruel reminder of the grace he once knew and lost. Breathing in the air he looked around. What was the point of it all, he wondered... all this so -called beauty.... when he felt the way that he did. Why was he still here when he was no longer needed... ? Taking slow strides he glanced around, his attention caught by a lone figure...
Kessari sank down, his knees settling into the lush green grass. It mocked him, he knew. How could it not? How dare it be so full and green, when he felt so dried out, so brittle? He let his hands down, taking handfuls of the soft green stuff. A drop of wet landed on the back of his hand, and it was a moment before he realized what it was. He was startled to find the tears pouring down his cheeks, tears of sorrow and grief, and then everything that had happened came crashing home. He'd never belong to Kivara again. A sob escaped him, and he trembled more harshly, unaware of the other watching him. He made up his mind there that he couldn't go on without Kivara. His life was meaningless. He needed to be loved. He wrapped his arms around himself and cowered quietly, his face hidden by the silver hair that splashed down over his shoulders, as he loosed the hurt that he had held back so long.
Normally Fanuel would have turned and walked the other way, but for some reason he didn’t. Something intrigued him… maybe it was the movement of the boy… a slight trembling that sparked his interest. As he got closer he heard the soft sobs… he was crying ? He stepped silently up to the boy and stood over him, staring down as he watched him, wondering when he’d notice him there.
“..Hey “ he said coldly, when the boy didn’t bother to look up “ what’s your problem ? ”
Kessari lifted his head slowly, his cobalt blue eyes shining with tears. His lips were parted, and his bottom lip trembled slightly as a few more salinic drops make their marks on his cheeks. A slight breeze shifted the hair away from his face, so that it shown in the sun. He appeared very tired and weary, as if he had been up for weeks with little to no sleep. His brows furrowed in confusion at the cold voice, he had thought maybe Kivara.... But... It wasn't. His heart sank, as did his shoulders when he realized he did not know this stranger.
"I.... I.... Nothing..." he whispered, his voice hoarse as he tried to wipe his tears away in shame.
Fanuel narrowed his eyes and after a brief moment he sat down next to the boy without a word. He wasn’t even sure why he did it, but something about the demeanor of him, the way his whole body seemed to sink when he finally spoke, got to Fanuel. He could tell the boy had been waiting for someone…
He could see his out of the corner of his eyes as the breeze washed over them both. Deep blue eyes, shining with tears. Fanuel turned slightly to look at him. Why was he sitting next to him ? He couldn’t figure it out.
“ Look…” Fanuel spoke slowly, “ maybe it’ll help to… talk to someone “
He watched in silence as the other sat next to him, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm himself before he spoke again. As Fanuel's gaze turned toward him, he turned his face away, tucking some of his long silver hair behind his ear, licking his lips slightly and shifting onto his bottom, pulling his knees to his chest.
"Talk?.. He sounded incredulous. "No one will understand." his voice was meek, now that he had cleared his throat, but hinted at the silver notes he did possess when talking normally.
Fanuel watched Kessari intently without meaning to. He noted the graceful movements as he tucked his hair behind his ear. Watched intently as his tongue slowly went across his lips…
“ noone will understand huh… ? “ Fanuel half snorted and turned his head away looking out into the field. It took him a moment before he spoke again, and when he did it was a half whisper “ you’d be surprised… “
He sighed and without meaning too imitated to boy, pulling his legs up and resting his head on his knees, staring blankly out into space. What the hell was he doing sitting next to this person ? He couldn’t even understand -why- he wanted to talk to him, why was he even concerned… ? He turned his head slowly and looked at him….
“ try me “ he said after a moment
It took a few moments for Kessari to respond. Why should he tell this stranger about his problems?. It's not like the other should care. He lowered his head, his eyes settling once more on the deep green of the grass. His arms wrapped around his knees, and he looked thoughtful for a minute before his lips parted and words spilled out.
"My brother hates me. He want's me dead." He said quickly, before he even realized what he was doing. He bit his bottom lip to stop himself from saying more.
Fanuel blinked, without meaning it a smirk went across his mouth
“your brother huh ? “ Fanuel said,
He pulled his head off his legs and stretched them out, his behind him supporting his body. He looked up and closed his eyes briefly as a gust of wind swepted across them.
He opened his eyes and took a breath in, thinking out loud more than talking to Kessari “ At least it’s something… I’ve all but been forgotten “ he said quietly with a trace of bitterness in his voice. He turned his head towards Kessari , his silver eye resting on the sadness in his face and spoke again with a forced evenness “ I’d chose any emotion over none at all… “
He sighed and cocked his head to the side “ Sometimes the line between love and hate is so thin they blend together… you ever stop to think that maybe he loves you so much that he hates you for it ? “
He looked up, watching Fanuel's response quietly. So he wasn't the only one who hurt. And he knew the tone of voice was under extreme control. This poor man must have had something horrible happen to him. He watched him quietly, noting the scars, but not lingering too long on them, so as not to seem rude. He wondered what this boy's name was. What his story was.
"He doesn't love me. Not anymore. He wants to forget about me. " He whispered, sighing. "Mine name's Kessari.
Fanuel smiled despite himself, he saw Kessari’s eyes dart to his scars and away again. Fanuel wasn’t ashamed of them…. He felt he deserved them, but for the first time he felt a little self conscious and didn’t know why. He turned his head to the side, so only his good side showed and spoke again
“ Fanuel.. “ He looked at Kessari from the corner of his eye “ seems like you and me are in the same boat then…. Yours wants to forget you, mine could care that I exist…”
he let out a dry laugh, closing his eyes “ aren’t we just a couple of losers then -haha “
He wasn’t sure why he did it but he slowly turned and sank slowly letting his head fall onto Kessari’s shoulder, not once thinking about whether he should do it or not….
He watched him turn away with quiet contemplation. "Fanuel? It's nice to meet you." he said softly, turning his own gaze back to the sky. "I guess we are.." he said, with a dip of his head, at the comment about them beign losers. A moment later, he blinked rapidly as Fanuel's head settled on his shoulder, confused. And then a feeling came over him that made him feel incredible. For the first time in two years, he didn't feel alone. He didn't say anything, simply lowered his head down against Fanuel's, closing his eyes briefly. The tiniest of smiles made itself know upon the teirs of his lips.
Fanuel breathed in the air… he hadn’t known peace. Ever. For the first time he felt as if he could forget it all, forget the fact that he was an angel, forget that he was a soldier, forget what he’d done, forget what had been done to him….
In that instant it was just him and Kessari and the sun, the wind, clean air, sounds of nature. He’d never known this, not once in his life and for a split second, he ached for time to stop, he wanted more than anything to just sit there with this stranger and have it all freeze. Then it hit him, suddenly, like a blow to the head. What the hell was he doing ? How dare he wish for this, how dare he be happy, how dare he try to forget ! His eyes snapped open and he pulled his head off Kessari’s shoulder with a sudden jerk of his head and stared at Kessari with a mix of self disgust and anger.
“ you…. “ was all he could say
He blinked quickly when Fanuel snapped up, unsure of what was going on. His eyes widened expressively as his lips parted. He leaned slightly away from Fanuel, wondering if the man was going to strike him. His breath was shallow and quick as he swallowed, frightened of the disgust and anger in the other's eyes.
"I....I"m sorry" He whispered, not knowing what he was apologizing for. He didn't know what he had done to offend the other, but he was worried. Had he said something wrong? Done somethng wrong?
Fanuel shook his head, and jammed his eyes closed. He brought his hands up to his head
“ why are you doing this to me ? “ he whispered through gritted teeth , half to himself half to Kessari.
He opened his eyes looked up at the worried face of Kessari, his heart skipped a beat despite himself “ who… what are you ? “ he breathed
He watched him, still a little worried, slowly relaxing a little, a bit of wind-touseled hair drifting over his shoulder.
"I"m not doing anything to you... I swear it..." he said, furrowing his brows at the accusation.
He could not keep his eyes off the other, and bit his bottom lip when Fanuel looked up. Could he tell him? Could he let him know what he was? No. Not Yet. He didn't even know this man.
Fanuel stared at him a while longer… he was hiding something, he had to be. How else could he have coaxed him into that peaceful moment ?
“ you… are lying. Who are you ? “ Fanuel said, pulling his hands down away from his face, before he had time to think what he was doing, he reached out as if to touch Kessari’s face, narrowing his eyes " why are you here ... ? "
He leaned back as Fanuel reached out, fearing that he was going to get raked across the face. "My name's Kessari! " he said in a slightly panicked voice, his eyes widening further. "I'm not lying!" He scrambled backwards a little, still on his elbows. "I'm here because Kivara doesn't want me there!" he whimpered, furrowing his brows.
The movement of Kessari pulling back sent a reflex in Fanuel. Without thinking he fell forward in a swift movement and was almost on top of Kessari, his face close to his. He stared at him, seeing himself reflected in wide blue eyes.
He turned his head slightly and brought his mouth close to Kessari’s ear, breathing softly he whispered “ What are you looking for Kessari ? “
Kessari fell back on his elbows, staring up wide-eyed at the one above him. His breath came a little hard, his mouth fell open slightly at the almost preditorial motion. But when the lips neared his ear, he gave a small gasp and closed his eyes. "P-please... I don't know.." He turned his head to the side, as a shiver shot down his back.His heart was racing, and he didn't know if he should be scared or excited. For some reason, he was both.
Fanuel could smell the mix of fear and excitement on Kessari and lost himself for a moment. He kept his mouth just a hairs width above Kessari’s skin and followed the contoure of his face up to his mouth with half closed eyes. When his face was dead centered to Kessari’s he opened his eyes and stared into his.
“ Maybe you and me are looking for the same thing…. “ Fanuel said quietly with a gleam in his eye[s]
He brought one hand up behind Kessari’s head, running his fingers through his silver hair, very slowly tightening his grip….
His lips parted slightly as he felt Fanuel's breath slowly move over his skin. He gave a small mewl, pulling a leg up and arching his back a little. It had beem so long since another had been so close. He opened his eyes to find himself face to face with the other, and he exhaled rapidly, his lips still parted as he raised a hand to Fanuel's shoulder, unsure of wether to pull or push. How could he answer? His eyes closed and He tilted his neck back as he felt the hand slide through his locks, and opened his eyes slowly again as he felt the grip tighten.
Fanuel did it before he could stop himself, he pulled Kessari’s head back and pushed his mouth onto his, kissing his deeply, passionately. As Kessari’s grip tightened on Fanuel’s shoulder he slowly pulled back and stared wide eyed at him.
He quickly let go of Kessari’s hair and fell back a little, bringing his hand up to his mouth… what had he just done ?
“ I… I’m … “ he tried, whispering
Kessari was helpless, sucked into the storm without a fight, letting his lips be taken and ravaged, arching slightly again as a tide of emotions threatened to unground him and sweep him away. His fingers curled in the fabric on Fanuel's shoulder, as he slowly began to return the kiss.
When Fanuel pull back, he blinked, looking slightly dazed. His blood pounded in his ears, and he breathed heavily, almost wondering why Fanuel had stopped.
Then, he blinked... He had just all but made out with a stranger. His cheeks flushed immediatly and he raised his own hands to hide the pink.
Fanuel’s heart was racing, he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. When Kessari raised his hands up he misinterpreted it, and pulled himself off him, standing and taking a step back.
“ I didn’t … I “ Fanuel stuttered, at a loss for words.
He looked down at Kessari, he wanted nothing more to continue, his heart was pounding inside his chest so loud he swore Kessari could hear it. But he’d just met this person, he couldn’t figure out what he was doing, or what to make of the feelings raging inside him. He stepped back again and started to turn away...
Kessari waited silently at Fanuel rose off of him, still hiding the blush momentarily. He looked up at the other, his own chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to regain some semblence of composure. Why did he feel so confused? He'd never felt like this with anyone but Kivara.
When he realized Fanuel was turning to leave he sat up and grasped his hand quickly.
"Don't....go..." he whispered. "Sit with me a little longer?" the edge of pleading was apparent in his voice. He didn't want Fanuel to go just yet. He wanted to get to know this man.
Fanuel was about to bolt, he didn’t know why but he wanted to escape.. When Kessari’s hand grasped at his he stopped short. [Sit with me a while longer..] Kessari said with a trace of desperation .
Fanuel stood there for a moment and fell to the ground, trying unsuccessfully to look composed. He kept his face away from Kessari and sat with him, his heart beating fast, his hand still within Kessari’s grasp. A swift breeze swept across them both as they sat in silence. Fanuel’s mind was racing and yet numb at the same time. He was not one to lose control like this… He wanted to look at Kessari, wanted to see his face, but he was… scared ? worried ? What the hell was he feeling..... ?
Kessari was silent for a time, but did not relinquish his hold on Fanuel's hand, almost as if he were afraid that if he let go, his new friend would dissappear. He leaned on Fanuel's shoulder after a bit, as Fanuel had to him. A while later, when they had agreed to meet again, Kessari walked home with his arms around himself, thinking of Fanuel's touch.
And he smiled.
Kessari looked around himself at the beauty. This place, this park, was breathtaking. Flowers, birds, and bees, all heedless of the pain he was in. It hurt so much to see all the beauty here, when he felt nothing but emptiness inside. Kivara hated him, wanted him dead, most likely, and Kessari couldn't see how things would improve. He lowered his head in sorrow. This park had been here before him, so had his brother. This park wouldn't be affected if he left, neither would Kivara. He couldn't see the point in staying. Nothing was enough to keep him here anymore, on this wretched world, in this wretched body. He head dropped as his hands covered his face, and he gave a small tremble, trying to hold in tears that were overdue by two years.
Fanuel couldn't stand it... it was killing him to know that his brother was with Jenova. After everything that happened, Fuan still forsake his own flesh and blood for that of a demon... when he surfaced this time, he felt like he'd explode if he didn't get out so he left, hoping the air would clear his head. How he ended up in the park, he didn't know, he had just been walking, lost in thought, lost in his memories. He looked up, the sun shone down.. a cruel reminder of the grace he once knew and lost. Breathing in the air he looked around. What was the point of it all, he wondered... all this so -called beauty.... when he felt the way that he did. Why was he still here when he was no longer needed... ? Taking slow strides he glanced around, his attention caught by a lone figure...
Kessari sank down, his knees settling into the lush green grass. It mocked him, he knew. How could it not? How dare it be so full and green, when he felt so dried out, so brittle? He let his hands down, taking handfuls of the soft green stuff. A drop of wet landed on the back of his hand, and it was a moment before he realized what it was. He was startled to find the tears pouring down his cheeks, tears of sorrow and grief, and then everything that had happened came crashing home. He'd never belong to Kivara again. A sob escaped him, and he trembled more harshly, unaware of the other watching him. He made up his mind there that he couldn't go on without Kivara. His life was meaningless. He needed to be loved. He wrapped his arms around himself and cowered quietly, his face hidden by the silver hair that splashed down over his shoulders, as he loosed the hurt that he had held back so long.
Normally Fanuel would have turned and walked the other way, but for some reason he didn’t. Something intrigued him… maybe it was the movement of the boy… a slight trembling that sparked his interest. As he got closer he heard the soft sobs… he was crying ? He stepped silently up to the boy and stood over him, staring down as he watched him, wondering when he’d notice him there.
“..Hey “ he said coldly, when the boy didn’t bother to look up “ what’s your problem ? ”
Kessari lifted his head slowly, his cobalt blue eyes shining with tears. His lips were parted, and his bottom lip trembled slightly as a few more salinic drops make their marks on his cheeks. A slight breeze shifted the hair away from his face, so that it shown in the sun. He appeared very tired and weary, as if he had been up for weeks with little to no sleep. His brows furrowed in confusion at the cold voice, he had thought maybe Kivara.... But... It wasn't. His heart sank, as did his shoulders when he realized he did not know this stranger.
"I.... I.... Nothing..." he whispered, his voice hoarse as he tried to wipe his tears away in shame.
Fanuel narrowed his eyes and after a brief moment he sat down next to the boy without a word. He wasn’t even sure why he did it, but something about the demeanor of him, the way his whole body seemed to sink when he finally spoke, got to Fanuel. He could tell the boy had been waiting for someone…
He could see his out of the corner of his eyes as the breeze washed over them both. Deep blue eyes, shining with tears. Fanuel turned slightly to look at him. Why was he sitting next to him ? He couldn’t figure it out.
“ Look…” Fanuel spoke slowly, “ maybe it’ll help to… talk to someone “
He watched in silence as the other sat next to him, taking a few deep breaths to try and calm himself before he spoke again. As Fanuel's gaze turned toward him, he turned his face away, tucking some of his long silver hair behind his ear, licking his lips slightly and shifting onto his bottom, pulling his knees to his chest.
"Talk?.. He sounded incredulous. "No one will understand." his voice was meek, now that he had cleared his throat, but hinted at the silver notes he did possess when talking normally.
Fanuel watched Kessari intently without meaning to. He noted the graceful movements as he tucked his hair behind his ear. Watched intently as his tongue slowly went across his lips…
“ noone will understand huh… ? “ Fanuel half snorted and turned his head away looking out into the field. It took him a moment before he spoke again, and when he did it was a half whisper “ you’d be surprised… “
He sighed and without meaning too imitated to boy, pulling his legs up and resting his head on his knees, staring blankly out into space. What the hell was he doing sitting next to this person ? He couldn’t even understand -why- he wanted to talk to him, why was he even concerned… ? He turned his head slowly and looked at him….
“ try me “ he said after a moment
It took a few moments for Kessari to respond. Why should he tell this stranger about his problems?. It's not like the other should care. He lowered his head, his eyes settling once more on the deep green of the grass. His arms wrapped around his knees, and he looked thoughtful for a minute before his lips parted and words spilled out.
"My brother hates me. He want's me dead." He said quickly, before he even realized what he was doing. He bit his bottom lip to stop himself from saying more.
Fanuel blinked, without meaning it a smirk went across his mouth
“your brother huh ? “ Fanuel said,
He pulled his head off his legs and stretched them out, his behind him supporting his body. He looked up and closed his eyes briefly as a gust of wind swepted across them.
He opened his eyes and took a breath in, thinking out loud more than talking to Kessari “ At least it’s something… I’ve all but been forgotten “ he said quietly with a trace of bitterness in his voice. He turned his head towards Kessari , his silver eye resting on the sadness in his face and spoke again with a forced evenness “ I’d chose any emotion over none at all… “
He sighed and cocked his head to the side “ Sometimes the line between love and hate is so thin they blend together… you ever stop to think that maybe he loves you so much that he hates you for it ? “
He looked up, watching Fanuel's response quietly. So he wasn't the only one who hurt. And he knew the tone of voice was under extreme control. This poor man must have had something horrible happen to him. He watched him quietly, noting the scars, but not lingering too long on them, so as not to seem rude. He wondered what this boy's name was. What his story was.
"He doesn't love me. Not anymore. He wants to forget about me. " He whispered, sighing. "Mine name's Kessari.
Fanuel smiled despite himself, he saw Kessari’s eyes dart to his scars and away again. Fanuel wasn’t ashamed of them…. He felt he deserved them, but for the first time he felt a little self conscious and didn’t know why. He turned his head to the side, so only his good side showed and spoke again
“ Fanuel.. “ He looked at Kessari from the corner of his eye “ seems like you and me are in the same boat then…. Yours wants to forget you, mine could care that I exist…”
he let out a dry laugh, closing his eyes “ aren’t we just a couple of losers then -haha “
He wasn’t sure why he did it but he slowly turned and sank slowly letting his head fall onto Kessari’s shoulder, not once thinking about whether he should do it or not….
He watched him turn away with quiet contemplation. "Fanuel? It's nice to meet you." he said softly, turning his own gaze back to the sky. "I guess we are.." he said, with a dip of his head, at the comment about them beign losers. A moment later, he blinked rapidly as Fanuel's head settled on his shoulder, confused. And then a feeling came over him that made him feel incredible. For the first time in two years, he didn't feel alone. He didn't say anything, simply lowered his head down against Fanuel's, closing his eyes briefly. The tiniest of smiles made itself know upon the teirs of his lips.
Fanuel breathed in the air… he hadn’t known peace. Ever. For the first time he felt as if he could forget it all, forget the fact that he was an angel, forget that he was a soldier, forget what he’d done, forget what had been done to him….
In that instant it was just him and Kessari and the sun, the wind, clean air, sounds of nature. He’d never known this, not once in his life and for a split second, he ached for time to stop, he wanted more than anything to just sit there with this stranger and have it all freeze. Then it hit him, suddenly, like a blow to the head. What the hell was he doing ? How dare he wish for this, how dare he be happy, how dare he try to forget ! His eyes snapped open and he pulled his head off Kessari’s shoulder with a sudden jerk of his head and stared at Kessari with a mix of self disgust and anger.
“ you…. “ was all he could say
He blinked quickly when Fanuel snapped up, unsure of what was going on. His eyes widened expressively as his lips parted. He leaned slightly away from Fanuel, wondering if the man was going to strike him. His breath was shallow and quick as he swallowed, frightened of the disgust and anger in the other's eyes.
"I....I"m sorry" He whispered, not knowing what he was apologizing for. He didn't know what he had done to offend the other, but he was worried. Had he said something wrong? Done somethng wrong?
Fanuel shook his head, and jammed his eyes closed. He brought his hands up to his head
“ why are you doing this to me ? “ he whispered through gritted teeth , half to himself half to Kessari.
He opened his eyes looked up at the worried face of Kessari, his heart skipped a beat despite himself “ who… what are you ? “ he breathed
He watched him, still a little worried, slowly relaxing a little, a bit of wind-touseled hair drifting over his shoulder.
"I"m not doing anything to you... I swear it..." he said, furrowing his brows at the accusation.
He could not keep his eyes off the other, and bit his bottom lip when Fanuel looked up. Could he tell him? Could he let him know what he was? No. Not Yet. He didn't even know this man.
Fanuel stared at him a while longer… he was hiding something, he had to be. How else could he have coaxed him into that peaceful moment ?
“ you… are lying. Who are you ? “ Fanuel said, pulling his hands down away from his face, before he had time to think what he was doing, he reached out as if to touch Kessari’s face, narrowing his eyes " why are you here ... ? "
He leaned back as Fanuel reached out, fearing that he was going to get raked across the face. "My name's Kessari! " he said in a slightly panicked voice, his eyes widening further. "I'm not lying!" He scrambled backwards a little, still on his elbows. "I'm here because Kivara doesn't want me there!" he whimpered, furrowing his brows.
The movement of Kessari pulling back sent a reflex in Fanuel. Without thinking he fell forward in a swift movement and was almost on top of Kessari, his face close to his. He stared at him, seeing himself reflected in wide blue eyes.
He turned his head slightly and brought his mouth close to Kessari’s ear, breathing softly he whispered “ What are you looking for Kessari ? “
Kessari fell back on his elbows, staring up wide-eyed at the one above him. His breath came a little hard, his mouth fell open slightly at the almost preditorial motion. But when the lips neared his ear, he gave a small gasp and closed his eyes. "P-please... I don't know.." He turned his head to the side, as a shiver shot down his back.His heart was racing, and he didn't know if he should be scared or excited. For some reason, he was both.
Fanuel could smell the mix of fear and excitement on Kessari and lost himself for a moment. He kept his mouth just a hairs width above Kessari’s skin and followed the contoure of his face up to his mouth with half closed eyes. When his face was dead centered to Kessari’s he opened his eyes and stared into his.
“ Maybe you and me are looking for the same thing…. “ Fanuel said quietly with a gleam in his eye[s]
He brought one hand up behind Kessari’s head, running his fingers through his silver hair, very slowly tightening his grip….
His lips parted slightly as he felt Fanuel's breath slowly move over his skin. He gave a small mewl, pulling a leg up and arching his back a little. It had beem so long since another had been so close. He opened his eyes to find himself face to face with the other, and he exhaled rapidly, his lips still parted as he raised a hand to Fanuel's shoulder, unsure of wether to pull or push. How could he answer? His eyes closed and He tilted his neck back as he felt the hand slide through his locks, and opened his eyes slowly again as he felt the grip tighten.
Fanuel did it before he could stop himself, he pulled Kessari’s head back and pushed his mouth onto his, kissing his deeply, passionately. As Kessari’s grip tightened on Fanuel’s shoulder he slowly pulled back and stared wide eyed at him.
He quickly let go of Kessari’s hair and fell back a little, bringing his hand up to his mouth… what had he just done ?
“ I… I’m … “ he tried, whispering
Kessari was helpless, sucked into the storm without a fight, letting his lips be taken and ravaged, arching slightly again as a tide of emotions threatened to unground him and sweep him away. His fingers curled in the fabric on Fanuel's shoulder, as he slowly began to return the kiss.
When Fanuel pull back, he blinked, looking slightly dazed. His blood pounded in his ears, and he breathed heavily, almost wondering why Fanuel had stopped.
Then, he blinked... He had just all but made out with a stranger. His cheeks flushed immediatly and he raised his own hands to hide the pink.
Fanuel’s heart was racing, he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. When Kessari raised his hands up he misinterpreted it, and pulled himself off him, standing and taking a step back.
“ I didn’t … I “ Fanuel stuttered, at a loss for words.
He looked down at Kessari, he wanted nothing more to continue, his heart was pounding inside his chest so loud he swore Kessari could hear it. But he’d just met this person, he couldn’t figure out what he was doing, or what to make of the feelings raging inside him. He stepped back again and started to turn away...
Kessari waited silently at Fanuel rose off of him, still hiding the blush momentarily. He looked up at the other, his own chest rising and falling quickly as he tried to regain some semblence of composure. Why did he feel so confused? He'd never felt like this with anyone but Kivara.
When he realized Fanuel was turning to leave he sat up and grasped his hand quickly.
"Don't....go..." he whispered. "Sit with me a little longer?" the edge of pleading was apparent in his voice. He didn't want Fanuel to go just yet. He wanted to get to know this man.
Fanuel was about to bolt, he didn’t know why but he wanted to escape.. When Kessari’s hand grasped at his he stopped short. [Sit with me a while longer..] Kessari said with a trace of desperation .
Fanuel stood there for a moment and fell to the ground, trying unsuccessfully to look composed. He kept his face away from Kessari and sat with him, his heart beating fast, his hand still within Kessari’s grasp. A swift breeze swept across them both as they sat in silence. Fanuel’s mind was racing and yet numb at the same time. He was not one to lose control like this… He wanted to look at Kessari, wanted to see his face, but he was… scared ? worried ? What the hell was he feeling..... ?
Kessari was silent for a time, but did not relinquish his hold on Fanuel's hand, almost as if he were afraid that if he let go, his new friend would dissappear. He leaned on Fanuel's shoulder after a bit, as Fanuel had to him. A while later, when they had agreed to meet again, Kessari walked home with his arms around himself, thinking of Fanuel's touch.
And he smiled.