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[nepenthy]

Just tell me, was i wasting all this fucking time, or am i over reacting to this experience, was this just a fucking game, was it all lies the whole time, or did you fucking get bored, was it easy making somone else feel like shit to feel better, more Superior, am i a dumb fuck to belive anything. Yes

Comments

[___554]

I can't believe I've let your words seep into me all day. It's a burden following me around. You type this mindless dribble on livejournal becuse you have no guts or just because this is the only way to put your words together in front of public to show the world I am a slut, or a bitch, but mostly to show the world you are a badass, or something along those lines. I'm done Alex. I'm done with everything. I've chased you for a half a year. 6 months. 180 days. Do you know how much of a mindfuck that is? But to say I'm heartless? To say I'm some slut who just wanted you to love me? I told you a countless number of times that if you were to ask me to marry you, I would haev said yes. Not anymore. I have seen this side of you. Blame everyone else. You can never hurt because of you, or some mutual cause. It's always everyone else, always. And if you can't point the finger to everyone else, it's me. Honestly, I don't care that you made this public. That could be to my advantage to show the world that I'm not this fucking little bitch you talk about. Some slut who has because societies slave. Do you even know what you are talkinga bout? Hahahahha. What have you done that was sooo against society? Everyone has their own mind. Because I respect my mom means I'm a dumb fuck, or that I've been brainwahsed? Alex there is a world out there, and responsabilities you wouldn't believe. Yes Alex I am compairing your life to mine. You have no idea how it is to have to work for your own money because your parents are already struggling to keep a roof over their families head. You have no idea how it is to have lost someone so close to you, it has brought me and my mom closer. We both were very close to her. You have no idea how it was to be raised as a single child. This is NOT in anyways being brainwashed, it's called respect Alex. Something you should learn. Then on to movies? I have nothing to say because I'm nto even a movie goer? Haha, I hardly watch movies, so I don't know what you are even talking about there. Lastly I am not, in any way, a waste of mind. I am not going to let you bring me down. I find it funny how you think you are the only person in this world who thinks, who feels. We are all humans, we all strive for basic things. We all need food, we are strive to survive. We all want to love and to be loved, we all hurt, and hate, and are enviouse. You aren't the only person in this world. You have spoke the final words. You hurt for two weeks and it's the end of the world. 6 months, 6 month Alex. And you say I never loved you. WHAT A JOKE.

finally: Yes fuck you. FUCK YOU x infinity. You didn't want a realtionship. FUCK YOU YOU MINDFUCKER. (YOUR mindgames, perfect)

[nepenthy]

Kerri no one reads my journal and i was pissed off about alot of things at the time, i dont think your a slut and i wish i never posted that but since i dont know how to work this site i kind of could not do anything about it but i understand you have the right to be mad and have this super public besides everyone has the right to know your story because you werent the bad guy you have made me the happiest person kerri i love you you are right i could not handle sertant things and i am sorry to put you threw pain i mean all this time i thought you were happy with how we had things and you know we both had good and bad days i wish i could delet it from my journal i really do the thing is i had to let anger out but the movies thing was not really towared you it was toward almost everyone and i understand your relationship with your mom i dont think she brine washes you and i dont playmind games with you kerr you know that i just have been fucked up over little and big shit and i blew up because it just is really hard not having you in my life i know this was low and it was stupied and in all fareness i at least was in your life when you were going threw that pain and made sure that you knew i love you i could tell you were hurt and mentioned it many times and you blew it off saying it is not that bad and you would be really happy and we had fun or i know i did please dont let that stupied lj entry change the way you think about me i just freaked out because just the way you sound makes me think it is the end forever im really sorry kerri i know that dose not change the fact that you are pissed off and hate me most likely but i hope you understand or will mabey one day kerri you know i would never want to hurt you or feel pain when ever a person would talk bad about you it pisses me the fuck off and i make them know it please dont forget about me because of this you know me kerr all the things we went threw and did together i love you dont forget i love you