(no subject)

[neosavetk]

have you ever been in a dream, where you goin along, doin whatever, and then all of a sudden you can't move? you're just paralyzed.

well, i get dreams like that. sometimes, randomly you know.

sometimes, when i want to be friends with someone, but feel intimidated or whatever by them. I get that way.

today someone whom i don't know real well, but fits that catagory, stopped on the side of the road to pick me up.

and i froze, i knew that they were doing something in an atempt at some sort of friendship or whatever. and i froze, i could hardly respond. I was barely able to choke out directions to my house or a thank you when it was over.

i saw them stop and i knew that that was whats going to happen.

"The next task is... impossible."

now i feel like an idiot.

why can't i be normal? like other people, who don't have trouble talking to people they don't know well.

i dont hate myself really... i know how to not do that.

or at least i know better than to try to pull an "i hate myself" with you guys.

i just feel ungrateful for the personality i've been sattled with. it sucks.

-yosh-