Final Fantasy 13
Eventually Square Enix is going to run out of numbers. 13 is the lucky number today representing the 13th Final Fantasy installment released ironically on not only the PS3, but the Xbox 360 (sacrilege?). And if you are one of the thousands of people who worked on this game for the rabid FF masses, you can stop reading now.
First of all, Final Fantasy has lost its way. Seriously. The last great FF game was 10. I remember being mesmerized by that game. Then came along FF X-2 which was what I like to refer to as the Japanese shout out to Charlie's Angels. Despite the obnoxious dialogue and annoyingly fast battle speed, the game turned out to be relatively satisfying. With enough work/effort the game revealed a few cool twists, which redeemed it from total disaster. This was also the first FF title under the brand "Square Enix". Let me be perfectly clear about this merger: It sucks. I've always loved Squaresoft games, and I've always hated any game Enix made. Oh, wait, the whole SaGa series from Square sucked donkey balls as well.
Anyhow, I'm not finished with FF 13 yet, and at this point I'm probably not going to finish this game. This is the second time a FF title lost my interest...the first time was with FF 12. See the pattern here? Never in my life have I been so frustrated with a game. Seriously. Only my cat knows how many "FUCK!" "FUCKING COCKSUCKER!" "AWW! WHAT.THE.FUCK?!" phrases have scared him half to death. I've always never been so tempted to throw projectiles at my plasma TV without fear of consequence.
Last night, just to be sure, I actually timed how long it took for my party of 3 characters to get obliterated by a mandatory battle with a "Eidolon" who is supposed to help you if you are "worthy." Literally, I was dead within 23 seconds. Retried the battle several times with different strategies and each time died within 30 seconds. I got so pissed off I had to consult the evil internet and use somebody else's fucking strategy to beat the fucker. Got past this infuriating problem only to face endless infuriating battles to follow. Hell, even stupid battles can kill you...and YOU CAN'T FUCKING RUN AWAY! Who's the fucking brain surgeon who came up with that dumbass idea? Even retarded D&D characters can run away from a battle (Gully Dwarves), but these JRPG dumbasses can't.
If you love this game, I'd love to debate you about how much it actually sucks. Perhaps it is actually my flawed opinion since I recently completed an absolutely awesome JRPG called "Tales of Vesperia." Following such a game is probably going to skew my view...but, I think I know a shitty game when I play one. Final Fantasy 13 was all hype with few redeeming qualities. If I wanted to play a fucking linear game, I'd play a FPS, or Super Mario Brothers.
First of all, Final Fantasy has lost its way. Seriously. The last great FF game was 10. I remember being mesmerized by that game. Then came along FF X-2 which was what I like to refer to as the Japanese shout out to Charlie's Angels. Despite the obnoxious dialogue and annoyingly fast battle speed, the game turned out to be relatively satisfying. With enough work/effort the game revealed a few cool twists, which redeemed it from total disaster. This was also the first FF title under the brand "Square Enix". Let me be perfectly clear about this merger: It sucks. I've always loved Squaresoft games, and I've always hated any game Enix made. Oh, wait, the whole SaGa series from Square sucked donkey balls as well.
Anyhow, I'm not finished with FF 13 yet, and at this point I'm probably not going to finish this game. This is the second time a FF title lost my interest...the first time was with FF 12. See the pattern here? Never in my life have I been so frustrated with a game. Seriously. Only my cat knows how many "FUCK!" "FUCKING COCKSUCKER!" "AWW! WHAT.THE.FUCK?!" phrases have scared him half to death. I've always never been so tempted to throw projectiles at my plasma TV without fear of consequence.
Last night, just to be sure, I actually timed how long it took for my party of 3 characters to get obliterated by a mandatory battle with a "Eidolon" who is supposed to help you if you are "worthy." Literally, I was dead within 23 seconds. Retried the battle several times with different strategies and each time died within 30 seconds. I got so pissed off I had to consult the evil internet and use somebody else's fucking strategy to beat the fucker. Got past this infuriating problem only to face endless infuriating battles to follow. Hell, even stupid battles can kill you...and YOU CAN'T FUCKING RUN AWAY! Who's the fucking brain surgeon who came up with that dumbass idea? Even retarded D&D characters can run away from a battle (Gully Dwarves), but these JRPG dumbasses can't.
If you love this game, I'd love to debate you about how much it actually sucks. Perhaps it is actually my flawed opinion since I recently completed an absolutely awesome JRPG called "Tales of Vesperia." Following such a game is probably going to skew my view...but, I think I know a shitty game when I play one. Final Fantasy 13 was all hype with few redeeming qualities. If I wanted to play a fucking linear game, I'd play a FPS, or Super Mario Brothers.