......Ha, I bet you thought I'd be speechless after going into so much debt!
Good day to you all. I was feeling pretty stoked about the new house, as well as the expected feeling of "OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT DID I JUST GET MYSELF INTO?!?!?!?" until I kinda got an unexpected jolt. Doing some LJ maintenance, I just happened to notice how my friends list keeps on shrinking and shrinking. No big, right? Well, I saw that somebody I had actually met in person was no longer my friend and was like "huh?" I mean, it kinda made me mad, but more so curious as to what happened. Even if it were a mistake, it was a shitty thing to do just because somebody doesn't post. Its not something I do to people because I'm going to keep writing whether people read what I spew forth or not, or heck, even tell me I'm a fucking moron who should die (it wouldn't be the first time somebody told me I'd be better off dead!). What happened made me pissed because its the sort of thing that reaffirms the suspicion that LJ friends aren't REAL friends...they are the fake internet friends or whatever tripe the media sells people these days. I respectfully disagree. Friends are friends, and if you like people enough to meet up with them, well, you ARE friends. Am I right or disillusioned? Anyways, I can't explain what happened, but I can just repost it here for all the world to see and judge for themselves. I'm almost certain my comment was out of line, but I felt I had no other way to get my message across that this bothered me. And, it has been pointed out that I'm pretty fucking miserable...is this in fact true (please consider all previous entries before coming to a conclusion). I am cynical, and I am a pessimist, and I think people who are optimistic about everything are high/crazy. Yep, I bitch about everything, and sometimes I really do fucking hate life, but you know what? I'm still here. I'm still living, and I think I'm doing just fine!
Me:
I just noticed you cut me from your friends. That's pretty shitty, dude. I guess I did something or didn't do something that must've pissed you off and for some reason you felt compelled to not tell me about it. If you did this out of a mistake, I can understand that. If you did this on purpose, then I guess all the things we discussed about friendship and LJ and me coming to Chicago were totally untrue. So there, I've said my peace. You can ignore this or do whatever the hell you want, I just wish you'd explain yourself.
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[info]silveringridd
2008-10-13 12:29 pm (local) (link) Track This
actually, it really was a mistake when i was cutting some people who deleted or no longer posted.
but this combative, shitty comment, going off on me before finding out that it was a mistake and assuming i deleted you out of malice of some sort really fucking pisses me off. what the fuck is your problem that you're always so fucking pissed off and negative? how dare you just go off on me and jump to a wrong conclusion. i don't fucking need that in my life. maybe if you tried to see a little bit of good in life, tried to be slightly positive, once in a while, you wouldn't be so fucking miserable all of the time.
(Reply to this)(Parent)
[info]silveringridd
2008-10-13 12:30 pm (local) (link) Track This
If you did this on purpose, then I guess all the things we discussed about friendship and LJ and me coming to Chicago were totally untrue.
and i don't even know what you're talking about here. you rarely talk to me anymore. i rarely talk to you. what did we discuss that was so powerful that you're lashing out at me like this?
nevermind. don't bother explaining. i actually don't give a shit.
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
[info]neoronin01
2008-10-13 04:30 pm (local) (link) EditDeleteTrack This
Comment Posted Successfully
Well, it is your journal and yes I don't have a right to come on here and mention what happened, but it just seemed very peculiar to me. I mean, you're a cool person...we don't have everything in common, and sometimes I don't have anything to say about stuff you post. Does that make me any less of a friend or a person to you? And don't I deserve the right to know what happened, as in if your dropping me was a mistake or because you honestly don't want to read about my life? I mean, I came out to Chicago to meet you and I had a great time despite what had happened to me personally a month prior. It seemed ever since I came out there you haven't really been that interested in talking to me or anything...so I kinda figured I did something wrong. I kind of figured to give people their space while I honestly did neglect my journal for months on end.
Don't get me wrong, I don't rely on other people on LJ to validate any of my feelings, nor I do I care if people read what I write or not. I just thought we had a connection, you know, as friends. If it didn't mean anything to me, I wouldn't have said anything. I only recently started paying more attention to LJ because things are going better for me, and I've been increasingly curious as to how everybody has been doing in my stupid hiatus.
And yes, I have been miserable for a while, but you of all people should know why I haven't been feeling on top of the world. When somebody close to you kills herself, and then somebody I feel like I'm in love with almost dies in a car crash, your world isn't the same. I haven't felt miserable in a while, but after reading all this and thinking about it, its making me kinda sad. I am sorry you feel that way. I am sorry to have lashed out at you, but of all the things on livejournal that bother me, being dropped sucks the worst of all.
Me:
I just noticed you cut me from your friends. That's pretty shitty, dude. I guess I did something or didn't do something that must've pissed you off and for some reason you felt compelled to not tell me about it. If you did this out of a mistake, I can understand that. If you did this on purpose, then I guess all the things we discussed about friendship and LJ and me coming to Chicago were totally untrue. So there, I've said my peace. You can ignore this or do whatever the hell you want, I just wish you'd explain yourself.
(Reply to this)(Thread)
[info]silveringridd
2008-10-13 12:29 pm (local) (link) Track This
actually, it really was a mistake when i was cutting some people who deleted or no longer posted.
but this combative, shitty comment, going off on me before finding out that it was a mistake and assuming i deleted you out of malice of some sort really fucking pisses me off. what the fuck is your problem that you're always so fucking pissed off and negative? how dare you just go off on me and jump to a wrong conclusion. i don't fucking need that in my life. maybe if you tried to see a little bit of good in life, tried to be slightly positive, once in a while, you wouldn't be so fucking miserable all of the time.
(Reply to this)(Parent)
[info]silveringridd
2008-10-13 12:30 pm (local) (link) Track This
If you did this on purpose, then I guess all the things we discussed about friendship and LJ and me coming to Chicago were totally untrue.
and i don't even know what you're talking about here. you rarely talk to me anymore. i rarely talk to you. what did we discuss that was so powerful that you're lashing out at me like this?
nevermind. don't bother explaining. i actually don't give a shit.
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
[info]neoronin01
2008-10-13 04:30 pm (local) (link) EditDeleteTrack This
Comment Posted Successfully
Well, it is your journal and yes I don't have a right to come on here and mention what happened, but it just seemed very peculiar to me. I mean, you're a cool person...we don't have everything in common, and sometimes I don't have anything to say about stuff you post. Does that make me any less of a friend or a person to you? And don't I deserve the right to know what happened, as in if your dropping me was a mistake or because you honestly don't want to read about my life? I mean, I came out to Chicago to meet you and I had a great time despite what had happened to me personally a month prior. It seemed ever since I came out there you haven't really been that interested in talking to me or anything...so I kinda figured I did something wrong. I kind of figured to give people their space while I honestly did neglect my journal for months on end.
Don't get me wrong, I don't rely on other people on LJ to validate any of my feelings, nor I do I care if people read what I write or not. I just thought we had a connection, you know, as friends. If it didn't mean anything to me, I wouldn't have said anything. I only recently started paying more attention to LJ because things are going better for me, and I've been increasingly curious as to how everybody has been doing in my stupid hiatus.
And yes, I have been miserable for a while, but you of all people should know why I haven't been feeling on top of the world. When somebody close to you kills herself, and then somebody I feel like I'm in love with almost dies in a car crash, your world isn't the same. I haven't felt miserable in a while, but after reading all this and thinking about it, its making me kinda sad. I am sorry you feel that way. I am sorry to have lashed out at you, but of all the things on livejournal that bother me, being dropped sucks the worst of all.