Jul 11, 2007 00:54
Title: Torch
Rating: R, for heavily implied sex.
Pairing: Alex/Richard, Lost.
Summary: Out of all these dark tents, she spotted one that stood out like the full moon in the black sky.
Spoilers: Nothing, completely AU!
Warnings/AN: Takes place somewhere around The Brig. It's so late right now and my brain is so fried from writing this, so I can't think of anything to warn you guys about. XD Concrit is appreciated, and I love feedback. Enjoy!
Torches flickered and cast glowing embers into the deep night sky, illuminating the shimmering silver of the far-flung stars. The camp hung in silence, a torch near every tent, most of them now dark from the inside. She imagined the people in them, sleeping on the hard ground not made any softer from their blankets. Maybe some of them were dreaming, maybe some of them were having an endlessly pitch-dark night of fitful sleep, but all she knew was that she wasn’t in her own tent. Wasn’t dreaming. She couldn’t remember the last time she dreamed.
Out of all these dark tents, she spotted one that stood out like the full moon in the black sky. The light inside wasn’t that bright, but contrasted by the suffocating darkness around her, it might as well have been a lighthouse. Beckoning her.
She slowly made her way across the sloping valley, making sure her feet were light on the ground. The last thing she wanted was to disturb people on this night, when all their tensions were high, but for reasons she wasn’t sure why. She felt distant from the rest of them, disconnected. But now, she didn’t want to go down that road, didn’t want to follow that line. She’d done it many times, and all she wanted to think about right now was that tent, and what waited for her inside.
When she gently pulled the flap open, peeking around the edge, she saw him on his back with his hands behind his head, staring at the makeshift pitched roof. He sat up as soon as he heard the ruffling sounds of thick fabric being displaced, and his eyes were wide and expectant. She gingerly entered, tucking her long waves behind her ear as she knelt to the ground, making sure the flap was closed securely behind her. His eyes shone with surprise and something deeper as he sat up, leaning back on his hands.
"You surprised me. I didn’t hear you," he said in a hushed voice, leaning closer so she could hear. Alex smiled and glanced down, and then back to his eyes.
"I’ve gotten good at being quiet," she whispered back, a hint of pride seeping into her smile. Richard couldn’t help but smile a bit in response. There was silence as they gazed at each other.
"Are you sure no one saw you?" he asked, speaking even lower. She nodded and she didn’t need words to tell him that she was certain. Not when she looked at him like that. He swallowed and nodded back, not being able to keep his eyes on hers, traveling south. Her cheeks flushed a pale pink as she realized this, shifting uncomfortably. Eventually his eyes came back up and they locked gazes again. After a drawn-out moment of watching shining reflections in each other’s irises, Alex crawled toward Richard and he drew in a breath as the distance between them shortened considerably, feeling their hot exhales swirl around them. Her pale fingers reached out and grabbed the collar of his half-unbuttoned shirt, splitting it wider. She felt her stomach melt and tense and flip all at the same time as she watched his chest rise and fall, the perfectly tan skin stretching over barely-visible ribs.
In a blur of breath and heat and skin that seemed to pass by way too fast, Alex found herself straddling Richard’s lap, her hair falling over them, casting shadows across the tent. Their lips connected eagerly, and they couldn’t keep their hands from roaming any patch of skin they could get to. His shirt slipped from his shoulders and she threw it to the side, her fingers swiftly wrapping themselves around his taut biceps and pulling him closer. A small groan escaped his lips at the sudden movement and she felt needles crawl up her spine.
Somehow, in a twist of events that she couldn’t place, Alex ended up pinned between the ground and the intoxicatingly hot skin above her, pushing itself against her, muscles and bones colliding. She gasped from pain and pleasure and everything all at once and her eyes threatened to roll back into her skull. All obstructive clothing was removed and each second passed by so drunkenly that it became a cocktail of senses, all bombarding her with their strength and insistence. She stayed conscious enough to notice the eyes above her, dark and shadowed but she could see them as clear as day. Ankles around hips, fingers through hair, and she plunged into the light.
A solitary flame swayed slowly through the air, flickering for a few seconds, and then calming back down again. It cast long, blurred shadows through the lantern and plastered them across the fabric of the tent, and Alex felt warm. A genuine warm, not the kind of warm from the morning sun or the burning sand, but the warm from soft skin. It permeated her entire being, seeking out all the hidden places in her soul, thawing them in a way she never thought possible, as though the cold would never leave her bones. She had never felt the cold most people thought of when they talked of cold. Perhaps the goosebumps across her skin as wet dried in a breeze, but never snow or biting wind. Sometimes she ached for it as she listened to the way people talked of it. Said that they would never miss the harsh winters of their past home, but all Alex wished for was to feel a freezing wind across her face.
And though she had never felt that, inside she knew she had. Somehow, in some way, she could feel the snow numbing her skin. It was a terrible contradiction; to want to be cold when she already felt so frozen.
But these times were different. These precious stolen moments. Warmth surrounded her, every inch of her exposed skin, and she breathed it in and held it in her lungs, wishing it would stay with her at all times. But sooner or later she had to exhale, and a sinking feeling traveled through her as she slowly let it out, let it swirl into their combined exhales. She felt fingers thread through her tangled hair and she closed her eyes, memorized the feeling, trying to block out all thoughts, everything, except for this moment. She opened her eyes and looked up into his, glimmering in the faint lamplight. Her fingers gently caressed his cheek, feeling the rough stubble beneath her palm and her skin traveled down his, savoring every inch.
And when thoughts entered her mind, it was wrong. She looked at herself from above with separate eyes and saw her limbs tangled in another man’s, wrapped up but still so exposed and she grimaced at herself. She had Carl. She loved him, and he loved her. Yet she found herself in Richard’s tent, night after night, erasing the long days away with fingertips and rough kisses and she realized how fast she had grown up. But age didn’t seem to matter on this island, as Richard seemed to understand more than anyone else, and she felt years beyond herself.
Hot breath spanned out over her chest as she felt shifting bones next to her, and she forced herself back into the present. Her hand slipped up into the hidden space somewhere between armpit and hipbone and stayed there, just feeling the skin under her fingers. An arm wrapped around her, pulled her into him and she was completely surrounded, safe. She felt so perfect in his arms, muscles flexing as he pulled her closer, and she felt something primal inside her that she rarely felt, a feeling that almost shocked her with its blatant animalism. Her heart sped and her eyes closed, reliving what had happened some time ago. How long, she wasn’t sure. She lost time when she was with him. A wave of heat passed through her and all she wanted to do was straddle him again, but she contained herself. Why, she didn’t know. She could have if she let herself. After all, he was splayed out next to her, skin exposed except for a stray blanket at his waist, and she found herself staring at the curves and lines and shadows embedded into his skin, almost hypnotized.
She loved Carl. He made her smile, and they had a strong relationship that seemed to withstand anything. But she felt something just as strong, or maybe stronger, when she was with Richard. Just the fact that he was a man, tall and dark and dominant, made her sweat, and it wasn’t just the humidity. Maybe Carl was her true love, someone she could be with forever. She wasn’t sure yet. She wasn’t sure of many things, but what she was sure of was the feeling of smooth skin on her own, the friction she craved. And it was then that she realized. She was addicted. Addicted to his scent and his fingers and his lips. And in a few minutes, maybe a half an hour, or an hour, she would force herself to leave and go back to her own tent. Because she couldn’t be there when the sun rose. She never could. It left an empty space somewhere inside her when she did, but she knew she had to.
And maybe the next night she would find herself in the same place, in those same arms, and maybe for a few precious moments she could feel what she rarely felt. She couldn’t put a word on it; words could never explain properly what she felt. So she didn’t. She chose to remember the smells and the skin instead of the words. And she walked back to her tent, the scent of him still in her hair and she rid him from her thoughts. Until the sun would sink under the horizon, and the fire would call to her again.