Datalinks: 012.0420.002 - And than you must think...
I always think. Think think think think think. Tis my forte. And today's today for what's on my mind is...
The impression I give off to others. Like once a month I must get stupified at people's comments. Most who know me in real life and known me for over a year knows I have changed. Over the 6 years involved in DeMolay my persona has changed vastly. Tremendously vast. But still people see all sides of the dice and I must think...what is the impression I give to others?
I was talking to a graduated comrade of mind, Megan. Megan was one of the higher echelon kids whom I truly respected in all sense. She was in drama too. Well anyhow she made a comment on my myspace today talkin of how she was intimidated to talk to me, especially more so in our Economics Honors/ AP U.S. Government class since supposedly I was smart and all that jazz in there. But what is to be intimidating about that? Really...what is the bad part of seeing someone who to your eyes seems highly intelligent. Would you be intimidated? I myself considered myself more than an acquiantance to all those I respected who were smart. Most students who were like that are in honors or AP classes all throughout high school. I respected them all greatly and every day I strove my best to get better. Why? I wanted to. I didn't want to be left behind in knowledge...and knowledge is what I strive for in life. Above most cases, I strive to know as much as possible even if I fail in the procedures, even if I get hurt in the process, etc etc. I wasn't intimidated however to talk to any of them - only to ask questions to them. Heh heh -_-;
Others have said that I have too stern of a look or too serious of a look that it scared them off. This is true and this is what I assume throws off most people from talkin to me. I hardly take off my game face since most cases I see require having my game face on. There is a time and place for everything. You must work at X time and play at Y time than bs at Z time. X comes before Y and Z and thus X is seen most. But I can't comprehend how many just ignore this. Oh well...thus is why I hold into no regards people who can't understand that fact when they dislike me with my game face on.
I just...don't understand. I wish I knew the vibes I give. I wish I knew a way to change that. I have been smiling when I walk across campus and saying hello to people and blah blah blah like that but...it doesn't solve everything. I wish I knew how to fix myself. I wish I knew everything I need to know in order to give off the "just right" vibe. The "just right" look. Nothing perfect. Just enough to please the masses.
Oh well.
On other news...7 months with Krystal, wohoo!!! Anyways I am out holmes. Peace.
The impression I give off to others. Like once a month I must get stupified at people's comments. Most who know me in real life and known me for over a year knows I have changed. Over the 6 years involved in DeMolay my persona has changed vastly. Tremendously vast. But still people see all sides of the dice and I must think...what is the impression I give to others?
I was talking to a graduated comrade of mind, Megan. Megan was one of the higher echelon kids whom I truly respected in all sense. She was in drama too. Well anyhow she made a comment on my myspace today talkin of how she was intimidated to talk to me, especially more so in our Economics Honors/ AP U.S. Government class since supposedly I was smart and all that jazz in there. But what is to be intimidating about that? Really...what is the bad part of seeing someone who to your eyes seems highly intelligent. Would you be intimidated? I myself considered myself more than an acquiantance to all those I respected who were smart. Most students who were like that are in honors or AP classes all throughout high school. I respected them all greatly and every day I strove my best to get better. Why? I wanted to. I didn't want to be left behind in knowledge...and knowledge is what I strive for in life. Above most cases, I strive to know as much as possible even if I fail in the procedures, even if I get hurt in the process, etc etc. I wasn't intimidated however to talk to any of them - only to ask questions to them. Heh heh -_-;
Others have said that I have too stern of a look or too serious of a look that it scared them off. This is true and this is what I assume throws off most people from talkin to me. I hardly take off my game face since most cases I see require having my game face on. There is a time and place for everything. You must work at X time and play at Y time than bs at Z time. X comes before Y and Z and thus X is seen most. But I can't comprehend how many just ignore this. Oh well...thus is why I hold into no regards people who can't understand that fact when they dislike me with my game face on.
I just...don't understand. I wish I knew the vibes I give. I wish I knew a way to change that. I have been smiling when I walk across campus and saying hello to people and blah blah blah like that but...it doesn't solve everything. I wish I knew how to fix myself. I wish I knew everything I need to know in order to give off the "just right" vibe. The "just right" look. Nothing perfect. Just enough to please the masses.
Oh well.
On other news...7 months with Krystal, wohoo!!! Anyways I am out holmes. Peace.