Second chance
Title: Second Chance
Author: Neonsparx
Rating: M for MPREG birth
Pairings/Characters: Kurt and Blaine
Warning/Spoilers: None
Length : 3198 words
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been together for more than a decade, they have been through a really rough patch, but have emerged stronger than before. But Blaine still has doubts and he shares his deepest fears and insecurities with Burt on the eve of Kurt’s Baby shower.
For Lillybean queen of the i ocean, thank you for being my fiftieth reviewer ;)
I don’t own glee, If I did, it would be called The life and Times Of Kurt and Blaine.
Second Chance
Blaine Anderson Hummel was one lucky bastard.
And he knew it.
It was days like today that made him offer silent prayers of gratitude to the life force up there.
It needed divine intervention, to keep nerdy losers like him; from screwing up every good thing that comes to them.
He couldn’t keep from chuckling, especially when he heard Kurt’s delighted squeal as he unwrapped the tiny Warblers Blazer Wes and Mindy have gifted them.
Today is Kurt’s ‘Surprise’ baby shower.
Rachel made the colossal mistake of letting her dopey giant of a husband in on the secret, and Finn had been spilling odd details since the moment they’d landed in Ohio ‘just coz they felt like visiting’.
It’s a good thing that Full term pregnant, and rather hormonal Kurt is still kind enough to act surprised, just to keep his brother from being chewed out by Rachel.
To her great satisfaction the baby shower was a great success.
The New Directions had stayed in touch, still they were surprised and rather touched, when almost the entire ND (except Quinn who was close to term herself and not allowed to fly any more) and a few Warblers showed up to celebrate their little miracle.
When the Carrier gene had first become common knowledge, they were still in college. Immediately they’d cleaned out their accounts of their measly saving and got themselves tested.
Blaine’s test was negative but Kurt was carrier.
As soon as they’d moved in together in New York, they had known that they were going to be married soon. But now a Baby was a very real possibility...no legal hassles...no surrogate...no adoption
A baby ...all theirs ...for real.
They’d laughed, talked, cried and danced that night away not minding in the least that they’d have to survive the rest of the month on plain pasta and a pound of potatoes.
They had decided right then and there, to be very responsible and try to conceive, only when they were older... financially stable...more prepared.
And then he’d gone and screwed up so bad and almost lost everything.
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“Oye! Grub’s up!” Finn hollered from their back yard, Breaking Blaine’s chain of thought.
Rachel herded the guests outside to the Hummel’s sunny little back yard, where Carole and Burt were already setting places.
Blaine rose from the well worn couch and automatically turned to help Kurt up.
“Heave Ho!” Kurt muttered, grumbling and wincing as he stood up not without difficulty.
Kurt had meticulously taken care of himself since the day they found out he was pregnant.
He did yoga, ate right and was fitter than before. He hadn’t gained much weight till about the sixth month and then just like Kurt... Lilly bean hit a growth spurt.
Kurt’s belly grew out almost overnight. Though his hips had softened and flared a bit, it was still hard for him to balance his weight.
The first sonogram showed nothing but a blimp on the screen. They figured calling the baby 'it’ for the next eight months would not do.
While Kurt was all for general nomenclatural options like Sweet pea or peanut. Blaine’s inner dork had intervened and he used every trick in his arsenal including puppy eyes to get Kurt to name their daughter (he had a feeling) Lilly.
Kurt had wanted to wait till he was further along, for a more fitting name (he was pretty sure it was a boy...and would Blaine shut up already! The baby was not bouncing on his bladder so his feeling did not count)
And then Blaine pouted his lower lip.
Kurt caved and they came to a compromise and Lilly bean was declared the official foetus name.
Now just two weeks shy to D Day, Lilly bean felt more real than ever. Blaine simply loved holding the very solid weight of their unborn child as he held Kurt up, gently kneading his constantly sore back and ass till his husband was mewling with relief against his shoulder.
“You make me feel like your teenage dream...” Blaine whispered their wedding song softly into Kurt’s ears.
They swayed together in this stolen dance. Just feeling each other’s heart beats and the gentle thumps and nudges of the life they’d created together.
“Uh! I hate to interrupt, but... If you don’t get Rachel out of Santana’s face NOW. I’m afraid we’ll have bloodshed on our hands” Mercedes spoke from the open French window, genuinely apologetic.
The couple exchanged an indulgent smile as they walked out to the back yard together.
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After seeing the last of their guests out... Blaine helped an exhausted Kurt to his old room for a little nap.
Burt and Carole helped him pack up all their presents in their new family sized car. While Rachel and Finn left with their two year old daughter Barbara for a day with her Dads.
All the little chores done, Blaine grabbed a cold soda and finally settled next to Burt in front of the Flat screen.
“Kurt settled for the night?” Burt enquired, while trying to catch up on the game he missed yesterday with the picking up of guests and all.
“Yeah! He kept grumbling all the way and then fell asleep before I could even get his socks off.” Blaine smiled remembering Kurt’s adorable snoring.
They sat together quietly for a while.
Blaine dragged a hand roughly across his face, willing the words in his head to stop buzzing.
Now that he had a moment to himself, every word of his mom’s call and Tina before that, came back with a vengeance.
“You ok kid?” Burt was suddenly turned towards him, giving him that odd penetrating look
It felt nice to still be somebody’s kid, even if you have your own on the way.
“Ya know, families are not just for the parties, we’re here for the messy bits too”
He never could look these Hummel men in the eye and lie.
“I was thinking about... what Tina said today.”
“She’ right you know? Kurt...Kurt going to be an amazing father, because he has learnt from you. It’s in his blood, he’s a natural.”
“And....I...”
Blaine had to stop for a moment to swallow this weird lump in his throat.
“My mom called today...she apologised for not making it to the shower.”
.....
“My father’s gambling again.”
“We lost everything! He swore he’d get help...that he’d quit and he’s right back to square one.”
Blaine couldn’t hold back the scalding tears any more as they spilled from his burning eyes.
Burt checked the impulse to soothe and comfort...Blaine needed to express, what was truly bothering him to get the right help.
Blaine was sobbing uncontrollably now.
“Is that what’s gonna happen to me?...If ...I fall off the wagon...go back to drinking ...I’ll lose Kurt ...the baby...What if I can’t stop? What if I destroy everything?”
Blaine voice was choked, unrecognizable even to himself. He had to tell it all... each shameful detail.
“I was home that day...When Kurt miscarried.”
“I was lying next to him, but I was too sodden drunk to hear him, when he tried to wake me up...If he hadn’t called 911 before passing out...he would’ve died too...right next to me...just like our baby.”
Blaine looked terrified, eyes wide, almost stunned by the enormity of what he’d lost that day and how much worse it could’ve been.
“I know!” Burt croaked as he took Blaine’s trembling hands in his own. Burt looked at Blaine and spoke gently.
“You know my old man was ...old school. He seriously believed that the only way to raise good sturdy sons was to use the belt on them. A punch a day was the only way a father could instil respect and discipline in the home. He actually told me that, when he came to see Kurt the First time!
With Kurt, I had to really rethink everything I had ever thought and learnt about being a father. I didn’t want to be Sir, I wanted to be Dad.
Lizzie helped me to see some things and after her...I had to fudge my way through some issues myself... but the point is, that every time, I made a mistake and believe me I made more blunders than I care to admit. I would look at Kurt’s innocent trusting face, and I would get up, dust myself, learn the lesson and try again.”
Blaine was still crying, but he’s slowly breathing better.
“You need to give yourself more credit son. I admit, when I heard about the miscarriage ...Kurt was so upset on the phone, he said he wanted to come home immediately...alone. Once here he refused to take your calls. I thought... that was it... that your relationship was over.”
“But, when you showed up at our doorstep two days later, looking more miserable, than a half drowned puppy, but stone cold sober, and determined to talk to Kurt, apparently even over my dead body.I realised, there was still hope.
You guys were in self imposed lockdown for almost 30 hours. And when you came out I knew that both of you were ready to start afresh.”
Blaine looked up at Burt and whispered “Kurt told me that he ran to Lima because... he thought that he had somehow caused the miscarriage. He was scared, I would say those words to him over the phone and he wouldn’t be able to handle it.
We’d been fighting a lot over stupid issues. I realised that he was right, when could he have told me about the baby? When we had fought over his overspending or my insane 16 hour work day every single time, we’d been home that month.
Every time we fought, I ran out to a bar and got a drink. Soon, I was getting drinks all the time; every day after work even if it was late and I knew Kurt was probably home waiting. I just didn’t want to deal with ...this bitterness, which was creeping in us.”
Blaine went on “He was scared to tell me that, we had conceived. He thought I’d be drunk and say something mean and ruin the moment for us. I was destroying, US, while telling myself that I was working hard to earn more so we could finally get married, and it was Kurt’s overspending that was putting us under.”
Burt intervened “Both of you let your insecurities and egos get in the way, but when you realised what was at stake, both of you made radical decisions to save your relationship.
I am so proud of you guys. You set your priorities right, got professional help. Kurt accepted that he couldn’t cope with the stress of working for high end snots in New York, and that wearing those clothes he couldn’t afford wouldn’t make them like him any better. And you accepted your weakness for using alcohol to deal with stress."
“Yeah! The counseling helped. I was able to see, that... Kurt was trying so hard to be accepted by that design house even though that Son of a bitch Designer was basically lifting his designs and abusing Kurt like a freaking sweat shop labour. Do you know he once threw a stapler at Kurt’s head? Kurt didn’t tell me because we were fighting.”
“ See! Both of you made serious sacrifices to make things work. Not many men in their 20's can do that. Hell! I could'nt have.
Parenting is like any other loving relationship, its not just about good intentions, one needs to back up intentions with concrete steps. And you did that! You guys quit your well paying jobs, moved back to Ohio, Kurt started as a lowly junior designer for that wedding gown shop in Columbus, and you went back to school to take Bar exams here. Now you don’t even drink beer.”
“Both of you have matured so much in the last two years. You guys got married on a shoe string budget and then you waited, to strengthen your relationship, not your bank balance. This kid is coming to fathers, who are ready and eager for him or her in every way”
“That’s how I know that YOU are going to be phenomenal father to my grandchild, Blaine.”
“Both of you will make hundreds of mistakes as a couple, as parents, but every time you look at that kid, you’ll know, what you’re fighting for and you’ll learn your lesson, and try again.”
Burt hugged Blaine, letting the poor kid snuffle into his shirt.
“Uh guys?”
Both men turned towards the stairs, where now stood a very alert and rather flushed Kurt.
“Love the pep talk Daddy, but we need to go.
“It’s time!” Kurt beamed at the father of his child.
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Kurt hated Doctors.
Each and every fucking one of them, and he had a good mind to claw the frigging smirk right off that smug white coated bastard standing before him, daring to tell him that after 10 hellish hours of agony, he had dilated only 6 pitiful centimeters and they had a considerable wait ahead of him.
Only Blaine terrified pleading face kept Kurt from causing grave physical injury...that and the next excruciating contraction that followed.
“Ahhhh.... Blaaaineeeee....ooooh Godddd!” Kurt groaned. His fingers digging deep on the edge of the hospital bed, while Blaine stood behind him, frantically kneading his back through the contraction.
To give him credit Kurt was handling labor better than Blaine had expected. Kurt had always been rather vocal in all their conception related pursuits, so Blaine had assumed that labor would be a bloody scream fest.
But of course Kurt had Zagged when Blaine expected him to Zig.
After four more hours of increasingly longer, sharper and faster contractions, however, it was Blaine, who was sobbing and begging Kurt to consider taking drugs, to ease the pain. But Kurt was determined; he couldn’t risk the baby being too doped to breathe on its own.
Kurt was standing, leaning against Blaine, when suddenly his eyes snapped open and he felt a gush of clear liquid pooling between his feet.
“Oh! oooooo....I....I need to push!”
Blaine simply picked Kurt up and settled him on the bed.
As soon as the doctor examined him,and pronounced him ready. Blaine sat behind Kurt bringing his chest flush to Kurt’s sagging back. The nurse settled Kurt’s feet against the foot rest, while he reached for his husband’s hands, gathering strength and comfort from the words of love and praise being whispered in his ear.
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Kurt was mentally prepared for pain. He had dutifully practiced his Lamaze every day, but he had not been prepared for this primal urge to push to take over his mind and body.
He couldn’t hear the babble of voices around him anymore.
All he could hear was Blaine’s soft instructions in his ear.
Body thrown forward, eyes screwed shut, Kurt focussed on his love's voice
“Breathe baby...deep breath...now push 1..2..3..”
“Just like that angel...you’re doing soo good”
“too ....tired”
“I know darling but Lillybean is ready to be born, they can see the head Kurt...just one more push ...breathe...1..2..3....”
This time Kurt could not hold back the agonized scream as the baby’s head emerged.
He leaned his buzzing head on Blaine shoulder behind him.
“Oh! My God Kurt! Our baby is here! Just one final push”
“Ca...Cant...Please!” Kurt sobbed.
“You can darling...Just one more and we’ll hold our Lilly bean...come on deep breath...1...2...3...”
Kurt gathered every last ounce of his strength and pushed one last time and he felt his child slip out of his exhausted body. And then they heard a strong loud cry, the sound he waited three years to hear.
“It’s a boy!”
Dazed Kurt watched as the doctor handed Blaine the scissors to cut the umbilical cord. After a quick check up, the baby was swaddled in a blue blanket. A nurse opened the front of Kurt’s gown and settled the baby on Kurt’s nipple. The openly weeping couple marvelled at their perfectly gorgeous son, while the kid latched on and suckled completely oblivious to the attention he was getting.
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“Hi Kiddo!” Burt spoke softly as he saw his son finally stir after some much needed sleep.
“The Baby?” Kurt was still feeling a little disoriented and very very sore.
Kurt looked down to see Blaine’s wild curly head resting next to his right hand. He couldn’t resist tangling his fingers through his curls. watching the fan of his lashes flutter on his cheek. Poor Blaine was beat.
“He’s great! Carole is with him in the nursery, they’ll bring him to be fed soon.”
As if on cue Carole, Finn and Rachel entered, with a nurse rolling in a little crib.
“Hey dude! Little dude totally just smiled at me.” Finn announced with such loud enthusiasm, that Blaine yelped awake, immediately causing the baby to scream at a volume wholly out of proportion for its tiny size.
Everybody panicked for a moment, trying to soothe the baby in vain.
Till Carole picked up the little bundle and settled him next to Kurt’s nipple, instantly solving the problem.
“Always worked with Finn” She quipped matter of factly.
Kurt looked at the tiny face scrunched up against his barely swollen breast. His baby was all Blaine, from the wild dark curls on the tiny head to his darker skin tone. H
is tiny face was scrunched up in such concentration now, but he knew for a fact that their son had his blue green eyes.
He couldn’t wait to see if his son will grow up to be as adorable and kind and loving as his dad. He looked towards Blaine, who was staring at them with such gentle adoration, that it made his eyes water.
After feeding till he was satisfied, Kurt handed their son to Blaine, Carole taught them how to rub soothing circles on his back till he burped.
“So have you guys finally fixed a name yet? Or is my grandson going to be Lilly bean forever.” Burt asked softly mindful of the king of the room.
“No... we’ve decided...We’re naming him Burt Reilly Anderson-Hummel”
“Wow! Thank you!” Burt choked, trying to blink away the moisture in his eyes.
“Kiddo, it’s such an honour...but is Blaine ok with it?”
“It’s his idea Dad’ Kurt said simply.
Burt looked at Blaine and they grinned.
Sometimes words are so redundant.
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Please review, its increadibly uplifting and it makes the butterflies in my tummy go whee!
No flameing please.