(no subject)
This post is particularly morbid, so I'm posting it behind a cut.
I think about death a lot, not so much about what's going to happen to me in the afterlife, but what would happen at my funeral, if I were to die tomorrow. I feel that it is safe to say that my funeral will be well attended, by friends old and new, close and far, by people whose life I have touched. People who didn't know me so well, like my old grade school friends may or may not attend, but I believe they would be saddened. "Oh that Nellie Featherstone," they would say. "Oh she died so young. What a tragedy. Tsk tsk." Flowers would be placed upon my casket, and they would bury me in St. Raymond's either with the Featherstone or Ayala plot (depends on who has room). Maybe they would even cremate me and drop my ashes into the beach, so I would live in Silver Beach forever (creepy I know). Overall, I think people would be upset. I do not doubt that there would be at least 20 sad people in my honor.
But what if I committed suicide?
What if I take my own life? What would people think? Assuming I wouldn't leave a note (because I don't think I could think of anything clever to leave as my last words), what would people think? What would they say? Would they say "I never expected this from her, how horrible"? Or would they say "It was about time she would have cracked"? Would they be shocked? Would their beliefs be shaken to the very core? I would like to think that I have and that I present a generally congenial outlook on life (with an occasional bout of emoness, but not an excessive amount), but do other people see that? Would my parents have to scramble to find a funeral home and church that would accept my body (most of the ones where I'm from are Catholic and suicide is a sin in the eyes of God)? What would my parents think? Would they think they failed? Would they think that they never knew me? Would they think "I never knew she was capable of this"? Who would attend my funeral then? Would there be a mass of people, or would no one show up because they were ashamed? Ashamed to know such a liar?
Please do not read into this as an intention of committing suicide. I am in no rush to die. I am just morbidly curious as to what would happen if I did such a thing. Unfortunately, if I were to execute such an experiment, I would never see the result. I would rather never know living, than not know when dead.
I think about death a lot, not so much about what's going to happen to me in the afterlife, but what would happen at my funeral, if I were to die tomorrow. I feel that it is safe to say that my funeral will be well attended, by friends old and new, close and far, by people whose life I have touched. People who didn't know me so well, like my old grade school friends may or may not attend, but I believe they would be saddened. "Oh that Nellie Featherstone," they would say. "Oh she died so young. What a tragedy. Tsk tsk." Flowers would be placed upon my casket, and they would bury me in St. Raymond's either with the Featherstone or Ayala plot (depends on who has room). Maybe they would even cremate me and drop my ashes into the beach, so I would live in Silver Beach forever (creepy I know). Overall, I think people would be upset. I do not doubt that there would be at least 20 sad people in my honor.
But what if I committed suicide?
What if I take my own life? What would people think? Assuming I wouldn't leave a note (because I don't think I could think of anything clever to leave as my last words), what would people think? What would they say? Would they say "I never expected this from her, how horrible"? Or would they say "It was about time she would have cracked"? Would they be shocked? Would their beliefs be shaken to the very core? I would like to think that I have and that I present a generally congenial outlook on life (with an occasional bout of emoness, but not an excessive amount), but do other people see that? Would my parents have to scramble to find a funeral home and church that would accept my body (most of the ones where I'm from are Catholic and suicide is a sin in the eyes of God)? What would my parents think? Would they think they failed? Would they think that they never knew me? Would they think "I never knew she was capable of this"? Who would attend my funeral then? Would there be a mass of people, or would no one show up because they were ashamed? Ashamed to know such a liar?
Please do not read into this as an intention of committing suicide. I am in no rush to die. I am just morbidly curious as to what would happen if I did such a thing. Unfortunately, if I were to execute such an experiment, I would never see the result. I would rather never know living, than not know when dead.