(no subject)
Ok I am going to wait one month before I make any executive decisions Re: Andrew.
Technically we're broken up, but there's still something there, whether it's left over from the relationship or it's meant to be there.
And I want to say he doesn't want me, but I don't know that for sure.
Because if he did want me, he would have worked on this.
And he wanted to work on it, after the fact.
I have nothing left to invest in this. Not even disinterest.
I don't know what the fuck I'm thinking.
I just don't want to be in limbo.
I want to cuddle and feel that warmth again.
What happened to December? Why did all that good disappear?
Did he give up?
Am I just clinging on to an old idea?
Can we be friends? Is that going to work?
Will I find someone else ever?
Am I doomed to a string of meaningless hookups or being alone?
Why can't it be December?
Fuck it. It's over. I'm going to accept it. I will not be his friend right now. I will wallow and pick up every bad habit I have. I am planning on drinking and toking up a storm for a about a week. I will be incomprehensible. I will be obnoxious. But I'll be ok afterwards.
Technically we're broken up, but there's still something there, whether it's left over from the relationship or it's meant to be there.
And I want to say he doesn't want me, but I don't know that for sure.
Because if he did want me, he would have worked on this.
And he wanted to work on it, after the fact.
I have nothing left to invest in this. Not even disinterest.
I don't know what the fuck I'm thinking.
I just don't want to be in limbo.
I want to cuddle and feel that warmth again.
What happened to December? Why did all that good disappear?
Did he give up?
Am I just clinging on to an old idea?
Can we be friends? Is that going to work?
Will I find someone else ever?
Am I doomed to a string of meaningless hookups or being alone?
Why can't it be December?
Fuck it. It's over. I'm going to accept it. I will not be his friend right now. I will wallow and pick up every bad habit I have. I am planning on drinking and toking up a storm for a about a week. I will be incomprehensible. I will be obnoxious. But I'll be ok afterwards.