uuuuhhhh look at me, i'm such a great person!

[neonfairy]

it seems to be that everytime i write on my lj... well, most of the time... is about problems.
i seem to run in circles and only write about negagtive stuff, so here it goes again (since i've already made it a habbit anyway)

i just lost an awesome friendship over something stupid
so what do you do when you don't know what to do? how the hell do you say you're sorry and return to normal
you can't
and that makes me sad
so aside from feeling sad, i feel stained, and it won't come off no matter how hard i try, so i give up
i let down the most important person in my life and a great friend
i betrayed what i thought was the most important thing in the world
so now i'm helpless, lost, i don't even seem interested in finding my way back to forgiveness
and what's worse, i enjoyed every bit of it, and if i could, i'd do it all over again
i may say i'd like to go back in time and correct it, but whom am i kidding?
i know given the right circumstance, i'd jump all over again, even though i'd know i'd break my head, i'd jump off the bridge, i swear
yeah, that's how freaking smart i am

someone, please tie me up and beat me up
i deserve every bit of it
maybe then i'll learn

until next time i need to bitch,

me