:sometimes i could die:
.....die from the very smallest things. that one look, where the eyes seem so cold. i could shrivel on the very spot wither away like a dying flower and crumble into nothingness. why am i so fragile?
i feel like i love everybody so much and im using up all of my energy/ it's all seeping away and i think i'm nothing to most people.
i'm not pleeing for sympathy, i was contemplating making it a private entry or something just so i could get this all out. i just needed to say it all.
i feel like ive failed. that somewhere down the line i've lost some qualities or somewhere i've done something so wrong that no one can forgive me and now they avoid me.
maybe i just try *too* hard. maybe i need to relax but i dont want to give out the impression that i'm trying or that i don't like someone.
i'm so exhausted.so exhausted trying. everything scares me; the reactions i'll get from people; people disliking me.
sometimes i wonder if i could disappear. would that many people notice? i'd like to fade away gradually. get thinner, be prettier. i'd like alot of things.
i guess my mind has gone abit haywire recently. suicide has crossed my mind. i don't want to kill myself, i just want all this in my mind to stop, i dont want to go, but i do.
can you have suicide of the mind alone?.....
i feel like i love everybody so much and im using up all of my energy/ it's all seeping away and i think i'm nothing to most people.
i'm not pleeing for sympathy, i was contemplating making it a private entry or something just so i could get this all out. i just needed to say it all.
i feel like ive failed. that somewhere down the line i've lost some qualities or somewhere i've done something so wrong that no one can forgive me and now they avoid me.
maybe i just try *too* hard. maybe i need to relax but i dont want to give out the impression that i'm trying or that i don't like someone.
i'm so exhausted.so exhausted trying. everything scares me; the reactions i'll get from people; people disliking me.
sometimes i wonder if i could disappear. would that many people notice? i'd like to fade away gradually. get thinner, be prettier. i'd like alot of things.
i guess my mind has gone abit haywire recently. suicide has crossed my mind. i don't want to kill myself, i just want all this in my mind to stop, i dont want to go, but i do.
can you have suicide of the mind alone?.....