just me i guess

[neonbubbles]

I am sick of it all
breathing
depression
my anger
that fact that i cant control a single emotion
being told i did things i know i didnt
being told im shit
being told your not good enought to love
being told she is so much better than you
little girls getting all the play
the constant pit in my stomach
the lonelyness
the fact that i now cant sleep sunday nights are monday nights
the fact that assholes always win
that i am in love with someone i may never speak to again
my best friend is is New Hampshire and not here
my father is a drunk
my mom dont want to see me, but i cant blame her
im sick of feelin stupid
of not being able to focus
of having no money
of being ugly
of being liked so much just not quite enough
im sick of falling for assholes
im sick of the people that fall for me
im sick of feeling so fake
im sick of fake people
sick of being sick
sick of not being able to make the people i care about happy
sick from all the crying and anger
because i have no idea where it comes from,
and who ever is here is the one who deals with it the most
i dont know what i want to be
i dont know what i am capable of being
sick f not knowing this
or at least knowing all the pointless things
i just want to be loved
i just want to not be crazy
but that will never happen because im fucking sick....
and i just want to give up