loooosing feeeeeling?
I sit, staring, trying to comprehend how I let myself get this bad.
Im horrible.
Im morbid.
Im alone.
Overworked, underpaid.
Overlooked, and unwanted.
Ive been so numb, that a wish to feel the ache of my heart trying to beat life back into me, existed everyday.
I try to make up for lost feeling, lost time, lost love, lost everything, by attempting to drain the imperfections, the negativity, out of my body, but along with it all comes the very life force that keeps me alive, the substace I wish so badly my heart would pump harder into me, my very own blood.
I suppose asking why anyone would want to hurt themselves is a perfectly logical question.. but to the sick bastards like me theres obviously no logic behind it at all.
... to me, to us, it makes perfect sense- not to our hearts, not to our poor racked and overworked minds, but to our bodies, I guess after awhile our needy bodies are to blame.
Dont get me wrong, and im sure those other people just like me know that not even a million mirrors worth of broken glass can mend a broken heart, but if watching yourself bleed doesnt waken you or even distract you.... what will?
-Savor the moments-
Im horrible.
Im morbid.
Im alone.
Overworked, underpaid.
Overlooked, and unwanted.
Ive been so numb, that a wish to feel the ache of my heart trying to beat life back into me, existed everyday.
I try to make up for lost feeling, lost time, lost love, lost everything, by attempting to drain the imperfections, the negativity, out of my body, but along with it all comes the very life force that keeps me alive, the substace I wish so badly my heart would pump harder into me, my very own blood.
I suppose asking why anyone would want to hurt themselves is a perfectly logical question.. but to the sick bastards like me theres obviously no logic behind it at all.
... to me, to us, it makes perfect sense- not to our hearts, not to our poor racked and overworked minds, but to our bodies, I guess after awhile our needy bodies are to blame.
Dont get me wrong, and im sure those other people just like me know that not even a million mirrors worth of broken glass can mend a broken heart, but if watching yourself bleed doesnt waken you or even distract you.... what will?
-Savor the moments-