(no subject)
what was it that jodi said?...i can't be around her and him at the same time because i am not the one who is chased after...i can't handle it. to enjoy someone's company that much that you want to be with them in a more than friendly way...the freedom of being able to touch this person's stomach or caress the side of their face without any thought or concern...ahh. that's all what jodi said and i agree so much with that. all i can do is leave when they are both around me at the same time...this is snot some juvenile stand-off i am trying to have; this is me dealing with an emotional thorn in my side...the trouble is that sometimes it flares up very badly and i feel as if i cannot handle it...what's the use of being sad and distressed around a bunch of people anyway? i'm not looking for pity and i don't want anybody to witness that and feel bad. life certainly gets more complicated every passing day. motivation is lacking. i feel generally alright most of the time, but when i think harder i feel worse, like being sucked into a tar pit. all you can do is move forward.