I saw Leslie posted this, so I found a similar one I'd done before...
I have revised this. It was originally posted in June 2003.
If I were a month I would be December.
If I were a day of the week I would be Thursday.
If I were a time of day I would be Dusk.
If I were a planet I would be Jupiter.
If I were a sea animal I would be a Seahorse.
If I were a direction I would be West.
If I were a piece of furniture I would be an ottoman.
If I were a sin I would be Blasphemy.
If I were a historical figure I would be Jefferson.
If I were a liquid I would be Tea tree oil.
If I were a stone, I would be Amethyst.
If I were a tree, I would be a Live Oak.
If I were a bird, I would be a DUCK!
If I were a tool, I would be a hammer.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be a Stargazer Lily.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be cool and breezy.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be a Faerie (I know...)
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a piano.
If I were an animal, I would be A MONKEY!
If I were a color, I would be PURPLE!
If I were a vegetable, I would be Broccoli.
If I were a sound, I would be waves crashing onto the shore.
If I were an element, I would be Neon!
If I were a car, I would be a 1987 Chevrolet Caprice!
If I were a song, I would be "Muzzle."
If I were a movie, I would be directed by Kevin Smith.
If I were a book, I would be written by Dr. Suess.
If I were a food, I would be Stir Fry.
If I were a place, I would be the Mountains.
If I were a material, I would be VELVET (purple, of course).
If I were a taste, I would be sweet.
If I were a scent, I would be lavender.
If I were a religion, I would be Catholicism.
If I were a word, I would be irridescent.
If I were an object, I would be an Axehandle!
If I were a body part I would be an ear.
If I were a facial expression I would be a smirk.
If I were a subject in school I would be history.
If I were a cartoon character I would be Cartman or Stewie (i can't choose).
If I were a shape I would be a dodecahedron.
If I were a number I would be 19.
If I were a month I would be December.
If I were a day of the week I would be Thursday.
If I were a time of day I would be Dusk.
If I were a planet I would be Jupiter.
If I were a sea animal I would be a Seahorse.
If I were a direction I would be West.
If I were a piece of furniture I would be an ottoman.
If I were a sin I would be Blasphemy.
If I were a historical figure I would be Jefferson.
If I were a liquid I would be Tea tree oil.
If I were a stone, I would be Amethyst.
If I were a tree, I would be a Live Oak.
If I were a bird, I would be a DUCK!
If I were a tool, I would be a hammer.
If I were a flower/plant, I would be a Stargazer Lily.
If I were a kind of weather, I would be cool and breezy.
If I were a mythical creature, I would be a Faerie (I know...)
If I were a musical instrument, I would be a piano.
If I were an animal, I would be A MONKEY!
If I were a color, I would be PURPLE!
If I were a vegetable, I would be Broccoli.
If I were a sound, I would be waves crashing onto the shore.
If I were an element, I would be Neon!
If I were a car, I would be a 1987 Chevrolet Caprice!
If I were a song, I would be "Muzzle."
If I were a movie, I would be directed by Kevin Smith.
If I were a book, I would be written by Dr. Suess.
If I were a food, I would be Stir Fry.
If I were a place, I would be the Mountains.
If I were a material, I would be VELVET (purple, of course).
If I were a taste, I would be sweet.
If I were a scent, I would be lavender.
If I were a religion, I would be Catholicism.
If I were a word, I would be irridescent.
If I were an object, I would be an Axehandle!
If I were a body part I would be an ear.
If I were a facial expression I would be a smirk.
If I were a subject in school I would be history.
If I were a cartoon character I would be Cartman or Stewie (i can't choose).
If I were a shape I would be a dodecahedron.
If I were a number I would be 19.